hide // muke

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READ: this book was made a long time ago. i do not write the same hardly anymore, but i'm not going to delete stories because this shows part of my process.

THIS BOOK CONTAINS:
-some abuse
-mentions of sexual assault
-some smut
-mentions of suicide and suicidal actions

DO NOT COMMENT THAT IM AWFUL FOR "romanticizing domestic abuse" BECAUSE THAT IS NOT THE INTENT OF THE STORY. ITS JUST A CHEESY, DRAMATIC STORY THAT DEVELOPS TOO FAST BECAUSE I WROTE THIS WHEN I WAS LIKE 14.

| l u k e |

I allowed the red headed boy to drag me around the bus like I always do, leading me into the same closet in the back of the master room.

'I can't come out' he always says.

'He doesn't want to come out' My mind tells me

He pushes the clothes aside for us, and I step in like always.

It's the same old thing.

He shuts the door behind us, and I allow him to start working on my neck. The tight space makes our bodies come closer together. He stands between my legs as he pushes my back against the wall, lifting me slightly.

It's hard for two six-foot guys to fit in a closet. It's even harder in the bunks though.

If I weren't so in love with Michael, I would make him stop. I would tell him that were not dating if he can't even be proud to show me off as his boyfriend.

Everyone knows I'm gay, but no one expects a thing from Michael. We've been a couple since sophomore year, and we would be seniors now if we were still in school. We've always been hidden.

It used to be like this: He would be stuck in the closet, and I would already be out, encouraging him to come out. Now, he's managed to drag me back in.

Literally.

We'd volunteer to stay back and stay at the bus while everyone else went out or something. Those were the only times me and Michael could actually be with each other, and not worry about anyone being around.

Now we were both shirtless and sweaty in a pitch black closet making out, but I stopped him before we went all the way again. "M-Michael. Stop." i whispered, and pushed him back a little.

"Yeah?" He asked.

"When are you gonna come out?" I asked quietly, placing my hand on his neck.

"Soon. I promise." He whispered, and ran his thumb over my cheek.

"You said soon two years ago." I whimpered, and he sighed. I laid my head down on his shoulder, hugging him, before I opened the closet door. I threw on my shirt, and walked back into the main room of the bus. I sat beside Ashton, and he smiled at me.

"Michael's being a jerk. Hold me." I mumbled, and Ashton sighed, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. "What did he do this time?" He asked, and I shook my head, laying it on his shoulder. "It's nothing." I whispered, and he nodded.

I stayed in Ashton's arms, and watched the small tv in front of us. I saw Michael enter the room, and plop down on the couch beside us. I pouted, and laid my head on Ashton's lap, extending my legs over Michael. I felt Michael secretly rub my leg, occasionally glancing over to Ashton.

"Luke. Can I please talk to you?" He asked quietly. I sighed, and stood up. "Yeah." I mumbled. He led me back to the same room, and I sat on the edge of the bed in the small room, after he shut the sliding door.

"Luke. What was that about?" He asked, standing in front of me.

I shrugged. "I dont know." I said quietly, looking down at my lap, even though I know exactly what it was about. He's not proud enough to tell everyone that I'm his boyfriend. He's not proud at all.

I felt my eyes start stinging with tears. It hurts knowing its the same thing everyday. I quickly blinked, refusing to cry. I can't let Michael know how insecure he makes me feel when we hide, because I only wanna make him happy.