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11

| l u k e |

The show was starting off pretty good. All I really had to do was jump around and put a smile on my face, and the fans would be happy.

It wasn't until Amnesia that I started feeling uncomfortable. All I was thinking was michaelmichaelmichael. I sat on a stool with my acoustic guitar and started to play the familiar song. But when it got to the chorus, I wanted to change it a little bit.

I remember the day you told me you were leaving

I remember the tears falling down my face...

I couldn't help but think about how Michael just threw everything away. My eyes welled up with tears, and I couldn't keep that damn smile on my face any longer. I heard gasps from the crowd as I stopped the song all together. I walked quickly from the stage, and handed Calum my guitar on the way.

"Luke! Get back on the stage!" People kept yelling at me, but I couldn't. I finally saw Alyssa, and she looked at me concerned. She's really the only person that will listen, and I don't even know her last name. She pulled me into a hug as I cried on her shoulder. "Luke? What happened?" She asked.

"Breakups suck. Especially when you gave that person four years of your life." I whispered, and she rubbed my back.

It took about five minutes for me to finally calm down. I felt humiliated walking back on stage after I just ran off crying. I heard people chanting my name, and it only made me feel better. I finally made it back to my spot, and I sighed. "Sorry guys. Breakups really suck." I said into the microphone. "I hope you guys can forgive me for running off like that, but everybody has days where they feel like shît." I said, and continued with the next song.

--

"What was that about, Luke?" Calum asked as we were walking back to the van. All the guys, and Courtney were behind me, wanting to know why I ran off.

"I had a bad day." I mumbled, and he groaned. "Luke. You can't just cry in front of the fans. They look up to us." He said, and I crossed my arms. "Oh yeah. Sorry I forgot: I'm not allowed to have feelings." I sneered, and stepped in the van. "Not on stage!" Ashton added. "I'm sorry, but sometimes I just can't hold it in!" I argued.

"Because you're weak! The only reason you did that to Courtney was so you wouldn't look so weak to us, but you always will! Pull yourself together, and then maybe we would believe you when you tell us you didn't do something! You come crying to us everyday about the same damn things!" Ashton yelled at me, and I cowered back in my seat.

I looked around, and Michael and Calum had looks on their faces saying they agreed with him. I wanted to cry right there, but I couldn't. I needed to show them that they didn't hurt me. Even though they did.

I stayed silent the whole way to the hotel, and eventually came to my room. I sighed when I closed the door. I absolutely needed someone in the room with me. They would prevent me from doing things to myself that I shouldn't do. But nobody's here. There's no reason that I shouldn't hurt myself.