Scouts Faith (Scouts Honor Book 2)

Going Insane

Levi's POV

It's been three days since Eren was taken. Three days without seeing the love of my life. Three days without seeing his beautiful eyes or adorable smile that lights up a room. 

I miss him, I miss him a lot and so does Nadia. It pains me to hear her ask me where Eren is when I don't know and I have no idea what to tell her so I have to change the subject. The way she looks at me when she asks 'Where's mommy?' breaks my heart along with the sadness I see in her eyes when I can't give her an answer.

She started crying this morning, asking where Eren is and when I didn't answer her, she demanded to know and that's when I broke down and just hugged her saying that he'll be back soon.

Everyone has been looking for him but there have been no leads. This is different than last time, at least last time we knew who he was with when he disappeared, but this time it's literally like he vanished into thin air.

Hanji, Isabel, and Armin come over more often to distract Nadia from the fact that Eren isn't there to comfort her, but also to protect her as we don't know if the people who took Eren will come after our daughter too.

The only reason I can think of for someone to want to take Eren is that he's half-archangel. In the past five hundred years, there haven't been any known sightings of an archangel so that makes Eren a very important and unique person.

There are an endless amount of possibilities that someone might take Eren; for his power, to hunt for sport, or just as a plain trophy for people who like to "collect" rare magical beings.

In the past three years, there hasn't been a single sign of anything suspicious. I have some idea of who could remotely have the ability to take someone and make it look like they just vanished, but that would be impossible.

I didn't notice how much a certain green-eyed brat changed our lives until he was no longer in it. The change was subtle at first, but then I would want to tell him something or just hear his voice, even Hanji has been less of a hyperactive crazy scientist though she still tries to stay positive, I can see it in her eyes that she's hurting as much as I am.

Even though it has only been three days, it feels like it's been months. I would do anything to hear my precious little Eren's soothing voice or see him smile at me. I love that brat so damn much no one can understand how hard I have fallen for him.

The feeling of failure keeps bubbling up inside me. It's my job to protect the person who means most to me in this world but I couldn't even do that. Hanji keeps saying that it isn't my fault but I feel like it is. As Eren's husband, I should be able to keep him safe from anything.

Now that he's pregnant again, with twins no less, it also feels like I failed them too as I couldn't keep their mother safe. I don't even know if they're ok or if the person who took Eren decided that they wanted to hurt him by taking away the most precious thing in the world to him.

"Hey, Levi, you doing ok?" Hanji asks me, snapping me from my thoughts.

Right now, I'm at the Survey Corps with Hanji, Erwin, Mikasa, both Hanji and I's teams, and Pixis trying to find out where Eren is. Though Mikasa does have a distinct dislike for me, we both love and care for Eren, both willing to lay down our lives for him if that's what it takes.

"Yeah, as ok as I'll ever be in a time like this,"

"It'll be ok, Levi, we're going to find him and bring him home,"

"I hope so, Hanji. It's just...I miss him so much," I have to keep myself from breaking down right here in front of everyone, but my emotions betray me, and a single tear slips down my cheeks which only Mikasa seems to notice with understanding on her face.

 "We all do. It's crazy how many people care for him, but it's not surprising, he managed to get you to love him, the Levi Ackerman, an emotionless clean freak with anger issues. That kid is such a bright light in our lives that when taken away, all that is left is darkness,"

"You're right there, Hanji. I never thought I could love someone so much but I do. After I thought that Isabel and Farlan died, I didn't want to love anyone else, then came along you and eyebrows. I didn't want to admit it then but I love you guys, you're like family to me and I don't know what I would do if something happened to you, it's the same thing for Eren also,"

"I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you either Levi. Even though sometimes you can be such a stick in the mud, I still love you like a brother, and I know all your grumpiness is mostly just an act to keep people away from you, but deep down you care more than what you want other people to think," I couldn't help but stifle a laugh at her words which are sort of true. She knows me so well.

"I just feel like I'm going insane with the amount of guilt I feel. I want to be there for Nadia yet I have to look for Eren. Finding him is going to be harder than last time and right now my head is going to places I don't want it. What if we don't find him, Hanji, what if..." I have to stop talking or else I'm really going to lose it.

I'm falling apart at the seams at this point. This is isn't like me at all. Before I met Eren, the last time I had cried was at Isabel and Farlan's funeral when I thought that I was truly alone in this world. 

"Levi, don't think like that, ok? Think positive, we are going to find him, I can guarantee it. Eren would not let himself be taken without a fight, he's tough and can handle anything thrown at him," I nod my head in agreement. 

Eren is strong so whoever took him will have to put up a big fight to get whatever they want from him. The thought makes me feel better knowing that.

"You're right, Hanji," I sniffle a little. "Eren is strong, he will fight his way out of whatever situation he's in right now, I believe in him,"

"That's the spirit, now come on, let's find our tough little cinnamon roll and bring him home,"

Anyone out there who wants to mess with us will be sorry. They should know not to fuck with the Ackerman's. I just hope that Eren is ok and giving those bastards hell.