Hermitcraft AUs, Oneshots, and Jazz

Piper Piping

(1/4/20)

Brain: What if Zedaph knew how to play the bagpipes
Me: But why-

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"Zed, no- stop- you are actually going to kill us!" Tango shouted in protest.

Zedaph raised an eyebrow, although Tango, who was on his back piggy-back style, could not see, "Does that mean I should stop?"

Tango furrowed his brow, "Nah, I want to see what happens."

Zedaph grinned before taking the two paddles of his paddleboat in his hands and rowing as fast as he could(with Tango on his back, mind you) down the blue ice pathway. 

As the orange glow slowly started to fade into view, Tango began to have second thoughts, "Wait wait, wait, wait-!"

Though the boat was already moving too fast to stop as it speedily came closer to the carved ice ramp that the two had made.

See, the chaotic duo wanted to see how far they could jump over a pit of lava whilst in a paddleboat on a blue ice road while one was giving the other a piggyback ride.

As they finally shot off of the ramp, they finally found their answer.

Not far enough.

Tango tried to swim in lava

Zedaph tried to swim in lava

Zedaph and Tango woke up in their beds, still slightly stinging. Tango had set his spawn at Zedaph's base to avoid the commute.

"We probably should have listened to Impulse." Zedaph swung his feet over the edge, giggling.

Tango nodded, running a hand through his tangled gold hair, "We did it for science. No one else was going to do it, so we had to take matters into our own hands."

Zedaph flopped back down on his bed, groaning, "Now Impulse is going to lecture us about 'Thinking before doing' and 'Common sense' and all of that useless crap."

Tango waved his hand in dismissal, "Screw common sense. Having fun is far more important. Besides, he's off doing his special gifts. He doesn't need to know how horribly that failed."

Zedaph's eyes lit up in realization, "Oh yeah! I forgot about that. Tomorrow is Christmas. In a way, it's the eleventh day of Christmas, isn't it?"

Tango cocked his head to the side, "I'm pretty sure that is actually from Christmas until January 5th-"

"Well, I say it is. I may not have a partridge or a pear tree, nor do I own seven swans, but do you know what I do have?" Zedaph stood up proudly, walking backward to his storage room.

Tango raised an eyebrow quizzically, "Um... too much time on your hands?"

Ignoring his statement, Zedaph brought out a set of bagpipes, "Voila! There is only one of me and one set of bagpipes, so there will only be one piper piping, but that's close enough for me!"

It took a moment for Tango to process what Zed was implying, "You do realize in order to be a 'Piper piping' you actually need to know how to use that thing, right?"

Zedaph nodded enthusiastically, "Yep!"

"And you realize that you do not know how to use that thing... right?"

"As a matter of fact, I did not realize that." Zedaph looked down at the bagpipes.

Tango crossed his arms, "So what now?"

"Well, I'm going to play the bagpipes, of course!" Zedaph beamed, making Tango even more confused.

"Zed, I thought we went over this!" Tango stood.

"Yes, you said you need to know how to use the bagpipes to be a 'Piper piping'. You asked me if I realized that I don't know how to play, and I said no because that would be a lie." Zedaph explained, moving his free hand around as he spoke for effect.

Tango was silent, a look of puzzlement on his face, "Sooo, you said no because you didn't realize that you know nothing about the bagpipes, yet you are still going to play them because you apparently still haven't reached that conclusion yet? I am so confused." He rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"What? No, I'm saying it would be a lie if I said I couldn't play the bagpipes." Zedaph raised an eyebrow, shifting the bagpipes in his arms.

"What? Since when? I've known you for nearly my whole life. When did you learn bagpipes?"

Zedaph looked upwards, recalling his memories of learning bagpipes, "Hmm, I'd say it was about... the age of ten, maybe?"

Tango sat back down on his own bed. He put a hand on his forehead, "I'm losing my mind. Zedaph knows how to play bagpipes."

Tango just sat there in silence, and Zedaph began to play rather skillfully casually. It was a rather odd sight, really, Zedaph playing bagpipes, carefree whilst Tango had a mental breakdown. Then again, it was a common theme in the Hermitcraft server.

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759 words

Don't ask what this was

This was my mind at 2:16 am, going crazy to the annoying sound that the refrigerator makes combined with the ticking of a really weird looking clock.

I'm going to publish this now before I regret making this into existence when I wake up later :)

Bye, you beautiful biscottis!