Hermitcraft AUs, Oneshots, and Jazz

Turtle Doves

(12/22/20)

Hypno glared at the baby turtles swishing oh so innocently in the sand, which was hundreds of blocks away from his base, of course. The turtle closest to him just dug its flippers into the sand before flicking wet sand everywhere.

Hypno threw his hands into the air out of frustration, "You know, for being so incredibly adorable, you turtles are more difficult to work with than Jevin."

Hypno attempted to pick one up, but it just flopped out of his hands like a living bar of soap. He groaned, "Just please get in the boat, there is tons of fun stuff over there, like seaweed, and water, and uh... seaweed?" He offered, although the turtles looked completely uninterested.

Kicking the sand, Hypno realized that he was basically doomed. He thought he had researched turtles enough, but apparently, research would not prepare him for the difficulties of actually obtaining one. Hypno carefully took out his last piece of seaweed.

The turtles had managed to steal an entire stack's worth of seaweed sneakily, and yet they still weren't cooperating. He grumbled to himself, "You guys must have fantastic metabolism." He crouched down and held out the seaweed, immediately catching the attention of the three turtles present.

"C'mere turtle turtle," Hypno said in a sing-song voice. He held onto the very tip of the seaweed, as the last time he had almost gotten his fingers chomped off by a surprisingly sharp beak. Thankfully he had bandages on-hand(wheeze).

One turtle slowly approached him, it was actually normal turtle speed, but they are surprisingly sluggish when they want to be, which is all of the time. Hypno slowly stood up and backed away towards a boat that he had placed in the water, "Yeah, c'mon buddy, come get the yummy seaweed."

Then, like lightning, the turtle shot forward and snatched the seaweed from Hypno's hands. Yelping, Hypno quickly withdrew his hand before glaring at the perpetrator, "Jerk."

As much as he didn't want to, Hypno realized that he probably needed someone better trained in turtle affairs. 

Hypno plopped down on the sand and pulled out his communicator, scrolling through his contacts before landing on the one he was looking for. He didn't have to worry about whether he was online or not, as he always was. He began the call.

After a few rings, a British voice came through the speaker, "Hello, Hypno," Xisuma spoke with a cheery voice, "What might you need?"

"Turtles," Hypno stated.

A hum of acknowledgment could be heard on the other end, "That's all that you needed to say. I'm on my way." Xisuma chuckled before ending the call.

Hypno didn't need to worry about sending coordinates because Xisuma had access to everyone's location whenever he needed it, as he was the admin and all.

Before long, the sound of exploding rockets reached Hypno's ears. He looked up and adjusted his bandana, "Hey, X!" He waved to the bee man.

Xisuma landed gracefully on the sand. Instantly, a few turtles began flocking in his direction.

"Wh- how?!" Hypno gawked, "I've spent hours just trying to get them to look at me." He crossed his arms, laughing in exasperation.

Xisuma shrugged, "Once a turtle king, always a turtle king." He crouched down, picking up one of the baby turtles, rubbing the top of its head gently.

Hypno stared at the two, "Teach me your ways." He jokingly put his hands together in a pleading manner.

"You get the boats ready, and I'll gather all of the turtles."

_____

"Xisuma! Xisuma help." Hypno panicked. He was running from several turtles. Sure they seemed slow, but they were only slow when they wanted to be.

Xisuma watched the scene unfold, not intending to help at all, "Doing great, Hypno! I love the technique."

_____

"Mumbo asked me what a partridge looked like, but I couldn't help it, so I just described a chicken. The poor spoon."

"Oh, so that's why he bought all of that white concrete."

_____

At this point, Xisuma was doing most of the work. He handled the turtles with expertise and care. He led each turtle to their boat like he was stuck on automatic.

Hypno sat patiently in the sand, forming a small sandcastle.

_____

Hypno wiped his brow, breaking the last boat and letting the last turtle into its enclosure before closing it off with glass. "Finally, I thought I'd never get that done!"

Laughing, Xisuma nodded, dusting off his hands and stretching, "The key for becoming a turtle master is all about scent believe it or not. They don't like you if you smell bad."

Hypno nodded in understanding before fully processing, "Wait. Wait just a minute-"

Although it wasn't visible, Xisuma's smile twinkled in his eye, "Well, I have a ton of admin work to do, so I'd better get going-" He turned away and quickly rocketed off into the air.

"Hey! You do not get off that easy, buddy!"

_____

802 words

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Bye, you beautiful biscottis!