Hermitcraft AUs, Oneshots, and Jazz

Partridge In a Pear Tree

(12/13/20)

Iskall rubbed their beard, pondering. They tilted their head, hoping that maybe a different angle would make whatever abomination in front of him make sense. Alas, this was Hermitcraft, nothing makes sense, but that didn't necessarily make it okay.

The swede groaned and ran their hand down their face. They knew exactly who had built this, although they didn't know why.

Tapping the side of their cyber kinetic eye, Iskall opened up the messaging system implanted in its software. They didn't need to scroll through the contacts because the one he was looking for was the most recently used, as always. They grumbled to themself something about 'initiation' and 'that darn broth' before finally initiating the call.

One ring, two, and then he picked up.

"Hello?" A very British voice came through Iskall's cyber kinetic earpiece.

Iskall cleared their voice, "Mumbo," they stated very seriously.

Said, mustachioed man made a noise of confusion, "Iskall? What are you calling me for? Oh, shoot! Did we have end busting planned today, and I forgot?"

Iskall quietly laughed to themself for a moment, "No, no. No end busting today. Although I have something, I think you need to see if you could come over real quick?" They asked politely.

"Uhhh, sure? I'm on my way." Mumbo sounded rather confused, if not concerned. The sound of rockets fizzled in the speaker before the call was ended.

It didn't take long for Mumbo to arrive; after all, they lived only moments away when traveling with elytra.

Iskall didn't turn around, not even when he heard the obvious shuffle of a clearly failed landing. "Iskall? What was this about?" Mumbo asked in confusion.

"Well, I think you would know exactly what this is about, considering the very clear... uh... 'elephant in the room'" Iskall motioned upwards, where a certain giant fowl that was built onto the side of their Omega Tree.

Mumbo looked upwards with a flash of realization followed by a nervous laugh. "Now Iskall, I would hardly call that an elephant-"

Iskall finally turned to Mumbo, "You are avoiding the point. You totally built this, didn't you? Who else in all of Hermitcraft would build a giant chicken at my base?" They tried to refrain from laughing.

"Now Iskall, you see-" Mumbo paused, "Well-" He shifted nervously, "Okay yeah, I did build that, BUT in my defense, it isn't a chicken!" He crossed his arms confidently.

Iskall sputtered before erupting into laughter, "What do you mean that's 'not a chicken'? You've somehow made this thing look even more like a chicken than the last one, and it's not even a chicken?" Mumbo's cheeks burned red in embarrassment.

"It's not my fault! I've just never seen a partridge in real life, so I had nothing to compare it to." Mumbo defended, glaring at his fellow Architech.

Iskall wiped away tears from his eye, "Wait, a partridge? Dude, that looks nothing like a partridge."

"And how would you know that? Have you ever seen one in real life?"

"Well, no-"

"Exactly." Mumbo put his hands on his hip, grinning triumphantly, "So you can't blame me if you've never even seen one."

Placing a hand on Mumbo's shoulder, Iskall looked Mumbo directly in the eye, "Dude, you realize Google is a thing, right?"

Mumbo stayed silent before taking out his phone-styled communicator. Iskall watched as Mumbo tapped away before his face fell, "You're totally right that looks exactly like a chicken."

Iskall shook his head with an amused smile, "Of course, you spoon. Now, if we're going to make this actually look like a partridge, we'd better get started, huh?" Iskall pulled a pickaxe out of thin air and rested it on his shoulder.

Mumbo shrugged, "You know what? I'm completely free. Let's do it."

_____

604 words

On the first day of Christmas...

(btw even though it's 'my true love gave to me' it is intended to be platonic)

Bye, you beautiful biscottis!