Let the Darkness In (Abandoned)

Pain

Trigger Warning! Mentions of self-harm. Please be aware that this hurts me too! I hope you guys like the insight and I'm sorry I've been MIA for so long. Loves!!

Sean

I watch Sang march away with an avenging smirk set firmly in place. I was set to go home but I think Phil and I need to have a discussion now. I slowly make my way to his office and run through a few breathing exercises I learned years ago to help someone. I need to be calm to have this conversation.

Knocking on Phil's door lightly I peak my head is as it's slightly ajar. His head is resting in his hands as I walk in. I've never seen him look so defeated before. It takes a bit of the wind out of my sails. "I know Sean. I know you don't want to work with him but I didn't want Sang on this mission."

Sitting down I mull over his words. "Why?" His watery blue eyes meet mine. The pain reflected there takes me back just a bit. Phil's hands shake slightly as he digs a file out of his desk. The edges are crumpled and water marks stain it.

"Volto is a very personal mission for Sang. Too personal really. She never has a level head where this bastard is concerned." My eyes widen slightly at Phil's words. He never curses so to hear him do so just reveals how much this is affecting him. "There isn't much in this file but what is will help you understand. Sang is never mentioned but I'm sure you'll figure out where she fits in."

I reach across and take the file. A deep ache works through me at the sheer terror in Phil's eyes. "Go home Sean. I have to call someone to let them know about Sang. If I don't and something happens- if something happens-" I nod lightly before attempting to smile.

"She's Academy Phil. She's been trained." He gives me a wane smile but nods along. Without another word I exit the office. I didn't say what I wanted but how could I? That was a scared and broken man. One I haven't seen before and hope I never do again. What is Sang to him? I figured if he had a daughter he would have told me.

Once I get to my car I glance at the closed file. Should I wait to get home before reading it or would the privacy of my car be enough? Glancing at the time I start my car. I need to go check on Luke after earlier this week. He was reckless and broke his arm on a mission. Lately he's been getting hurt more and more.

This is one of those times that I miss Owen. Him, North and Kota could always keep Luke from getting hurt. Without them I've had to watch my brothers deteriorate. Not that we can trust anyone else but I still miss them. They were my family for so long and now I don't have them.

My eyes burn slightly before I knock the thoughts away. It doesn't matter right now. Only protecting the two still with me matters. Parking the car outside of Luke and Gabe's apartment I grab the file and head inside. Without knocking I let myself inside. Blaring music meets me. It's so loud I'm surprised the windows aren't shaking.

Not seeing either boy in the main room I quickly turn off the music. Gabe quickly races out of his room. "Oi! What the fuck man?" Rolling my eyes I go searching for Luke. If they keep playing music at those volumes they'll permanently ruin their hearing. Gabe turns the music back on but at a much quieter level.

"How's the arm?" Luke keeps staring at the ceiling from his bed. Besides being reckless he doesn't really talk too much anymore. After North left the team Luke lost it and ran off. When Gabe and I found him too much had happened. It's rare we hear his voice or hear him at all. The old jokester is lost.

Luke shrugs but his eyes meet mine. They used to be a warm inviting brown but now the color seems dull. His spark and life are dim in his eyes. Checking over his cast I note the scratches on his arm. "Luke are these new?" Looking back at the ceiling he nods. Grabbing the disinfectant I start cleaning the new marks.

My heart drops and I want to scream. Pain rips through my entire body at the internal torture my brother is going through. I try to get him to see a therapist but he refuses to talk to them. Nothing I do is working. I'm going to have to ask for help but I just don't know who to go to. The only people I trusted hurt my brothers once already.

"Please consider coming to see Gabe or I next time you consider this. Please Luke. We love you." He doesn't move but I note that his long blonde hair is looking a bit greasy. After bandaging up his arm I walk across the hall to see Gabe. I knock a couple times before he pops the door open.

"What's up Doc?" I explain about Luke's hair and he just nods. "I'll take care of it tonight." He runs a hand through his hair before meeting my eyes. His crystalline ice blue orbs look more haunted every day. "Sean, we need to help him." Tears sting the back of my eyes as I force them closed.

"I know. I know we do, I just don't know what." Gabe puts a hand on my shoulder and squeezes lightly. Looking down he sees the folder in my hands. With a quirk of his brow he stares at me waiting for an explanation. "I don't know yet. You remember Sang?" When he nods I continue. "Well Phil tried to get me to let Luke take a mission with Owen tonight."

Rage fills his face as I push through. "Sang was standing there but quickly stepped in. I think she could tell I was upset. She's taking care of the mission but it's really personal for her so refused the favors. I went to confront Phil after she left but he looked destroyed. He said that this file will explain why it means so much to Sang and why he didn't want her to have it."

A contemplative look crosses his face. "Let's have a look then. If she was nice enough to help you out maybe we can at least help her after. You know how hard personal missions can be and I know you like her." I shoot Gabe a weak smile that barely moves any part of my face. "Sean, it's okay to like someone else."

Without answering him I just motion to the desk. Gabe sits on his bed as I take the chair. Flicking the folder open I do a quick glance before reading anything. The face in the picture that stares back at me is very familiar though. Gabe sucks in a breath as my eyes widen. He looks at me with fear and confusion. "Malik?" Nodding my head I start reading about our dead friend.