Someone Out There Loves You (Adopted by Frank Iero)

26

ALEXA

Staring absentmindedly out the window above the sink as I washed my mug, I studied Frank's backyard. There was a wooden decking with an outdoor table and chairs on it, with steps leading down to the green grass, and if you followed the path round to the left, there was a pool. That made me excited. I missed being in water.

At some point I had picked up a tea towel and began drying the mug, only to then put both of them down on the bench, allowing memories to fill my mind without the distraction of what my hands were doing.

As a kid, when things would get out of control and hectic at home, as they often did, I would find a window of opportunity to escape. Most of the time I went to the park, but if it was hot, I would venture a little further into the woods the park backed on to and down to the lake. I wasn't sure if people were actually allowed to swim in it, but I did anyway. Floating on my back in the water made time stand still, and when time paused, everything else did too. There were no problems, no stress, nothing to worry about. Everything was okay.

When I brought my attention back to where I was, I had completely forgotten that the mug was wrapped in the tea towel, and in one swift motion I had grabbed the edge of the fabric and yanked it, intending to put it away, only to have a loud crash and porcelain shattering around my feet follow the motion.

*trigger warning: panic attack*

My eyes went wide when I realised what I had just done. My heart rate accelerated in an instant, my pulse somehow audible over the ringing in my ears, and I was gasping for air but there didn't seem to be any filling my lungs. With trembling hands, I covered my mouth, standing frozen, unable to move.

"Lex, you okay? I heard a smash. Did you drop something?" I heard a voice yell. A figure ran into the room, stopping by the entrance to the kitchen on the other side of the shattered porcelain pieces, it having created a barrier between us.

"Are you alright, darling? Are you hurt?"

They took a few steps in my direction, and in an instant my body felt like it thawed out and I could move. I backed up instinctively until I found myself trapped in the corner, my back pressed against the bench. The person kept moving closer. I sank to the floor, trying to make myself as small as possible as my body trembled in fear, my head spinning, my heart racing.

*trigger warning: abuse/rape*

"I-I'm s-so sorry," I whispered, sinking down to my knees to scoop up the shards of glass resulting from me dropping an empty beer bottle.

"Sorry?" my father roared, looking at me with wide, rage filled eyes. "You're SORRY? SORRY DOESN'T MAKE IT BETTER, YOU USELESS WASTE OF FUCKING SPACE."

"I-it w-was an a-a-accident," I whimpered, my entire body shaking in fear. Tears blurred my vision, making it incredibly difficult to see the tiny glass fragments against the white floor. Leaning on the cold tiles was hurting my bony knees, and there was also a good chance I was leaning on tiny glass shards, but that was the least of my worries.

I felt him crouch down next to me, and suddenly my hair was grabbed and yanked back, forcing me to look up. "An accident?" he growled.

I tried to nod my head only to have him tighten his grip on my hair, forcing me to stop. I whimpered pathetically. "Stop!" I cried. "Y-you're hurting me." I shouldn't have said that. I knew I shouldn't have said that. Why was I so fucking stupid?

"Oh, is this hurting you?" he retorted mockingly, forcing me to stand up by dragging my hair upwards. "Is it hurting? I'll show you something that hurts," he laughed dryly, "and you know why? Because you deserve it. Look how angry you've made me. This is all your fault." He brought his hand back and his open palm made contact with my cheek with enough force to snap my head to the side. Still in shock from the pain, he forced me roughly to the ground, my body landing heavily.