Someone Out There Loves You (Adopted by Frank Iero)

37

ALEXA

Emerging from my room, I skipped down the stairs thinking it was just Frank and I home because we're the only ones who live here obviously. I came to a halt at the third stair from the bottom when I heard voices. My head snapped in the direction of the lounge room, seeing Frank and Gerard on the couch, laughing amongst themselves. My eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets, and my arms instinctively hid behind my back.

They haven't seen me yet. If I can make it to my room I can grab a hoodie and then I c-

The stair creaked as I shifted my weight and I silently cursed myself.

"Hey Lex," Frank said warmly.

Fuck.

"Hi Lexa," Gerard smiled, waving at me.

"Oh! Hi Gee, I didn't know you were here," I smiled, not moving from the third bottom stair, forgetting why I came downstairs in the first place. While I was excited to see him, he had caught me off guard.

This was why it was easier to just wear long sleeves - I could never be caught off guard. I was getting a little too comfortable, a little too complacent. Today being Sunday, making it two days without being hit in some way, the bruises on my arms were mostly faded which was why I was walking around so casually in short sleeves. The kids at school mainly concentrated on hitting my torso which actually worked really well for me in terms of hiding it, but there were still bruises on my arms from being grabbed roughly or from being shoved into things, but the browny yellow tinges were hardly visible as it was getting darker as the day grew later. Plus, Frank always made a point to not stare at my arms because he knew it made me uncomfortable - something I was really appreciative of - so it would have been hard for him to notice anyway. The ones on my arms were really only visible if you stared at them. The ones on my torso from getting kicked were a different story, but I didn't have to worry about those being seen.

"We're gonna watch a movie, I was gonna ask you if you wanted to join but I didn't wanna interrupt you if you were doing homework, but since you're down here, wanna join?" Frank asked, his eyes shining.

"Oh, uh, I don't want to intrude," I laughed lightly, desperately wanting to get to my room and find something to cover my bare arms.

"Don't be silly, come watch," Gerard insisted, already moving over on the couch to make room for me.

I couldn't just go over there. Why did they have to be so nice and inclusive?

It felt uncomfortable being so exposed the first few times I wore short sleeves around Frank, but I was more or less okay around him now, although hiding the bruises from school was making the need to keep my arms covered a thing again. But before that, I didn't really think too much about wearing short sleeves around him. I was comfortable with him and he had seen it and they were healed and he didn't judge me or make me feel less of a person because of it. It felt okay around him.

Gerard, however... I knew he wouldn't judge me, but I wasn't about to shove it in his face. After our drawing date a couple days ago, he knew a lot more about me, but still not everything, and I hadn't spent enough time with him to feel okay enough to go bare arms.

Although, what he wouldn't have realised was I had indirectly shown him my scars. The final drawing I showed him was a map of what my arms looked like as of now. It was something I had done for years, every so often redrawing it to add whatever new scars there were, almost like I was tracking the progression. I'd just never shown it to anyone before. I didn't need to show it to Frank considering he had physically seen my arms, but it was a really scary thing showing Gee, even though it was without context. I wasn't planning on showing him, but after we spent the entire afternoon talking and bonding and sharing stories, I felt like I could trust him and I wanted to open up to him, I just didn't know how to do it completely.