Someone Out There Loves You (Adopted by Frank Iero)

35

ALEXA

The first week of school was finally coming to an end. Sitting in the back row of my English class on a Friday afternoon, the final class of the week, I couldn't wait for it to be over. It had been exhausting. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but I think I might have been anticipating it to go a little smoother than it did. Maybe it was because I hadn't been in the whole school scene since before last Christmas, maybe it was being in a new state and adjusting to life outside of a psych ward with a loving parental figure and his band mates being the only people I interacted with, or maybe I just radiated freak energy and it put everyone off. Looking back, hoping to make a friend within my first week was a little ambitious. I just didn't expect people to be so mean straight off the bat.

The locker shoving and insults were nothing new, but what was new was how important your reputation was and how that could also be attacked. This was different compared to middle school, where attacks were in the form of physical violence and insults from a distinct group of people. Here, instead of it being a particular group of people who had an immediate distaste for me, it was somehow everyone. I had barely spoken to anyone, but since I was branded uncool by the popular group, the entire school blindly followed, the freak reputation sticking with me and sending everyone either running away or running to bash me.

Zoning in and out of focus, I only heard snippets of Mr Stevens spiel on the symbolism in Macbeth. My brain got stuck when he mentioned Lady Macbeth seeing the blood on her hands even after she had washed them - that was something I was very familiar with, albeit different reasons. Mine was more an insatiable craving for self destruction rather than guilt from what I'd done to another.

The piercing ring of the bell startled me, snapping me out of my daze as it made me jump ever so slightly in my seat.

"Make sure you complete the questions for Scene I of Act V before next class because we'll be moving on to Scene II. Have a good weekend everybody," Mr Stevens' loud voice boomed over the ruckus created by the students eager to leave and start their weekends.

I followed their lead, scooping up my books and singular pen before hurrying to my locker. Frank would be a little hurt if he knew that the pencil case he picked out for me had lived in my locker for most of the week and only ever made an appearance at home, but I saw it as one extra thing that would be swept off my desk as someone walked past or dropped when I was shoved, and considering it was something he lovingly bought for me with the purest intentions, I couldn't let people kick it around.

With my backpack slung over my shoulders, I peered around quickly, making sure I was in the clear. I could hear Calli's melodic voice ringing out down the hall and Jess' obnoxious laughter, and as much as I wanted to stick around to catch one last glimpse of her angelic features before the weekend began, I couldn't risk it.

Heading out of the school grounds while throwing the occasional glance over my shoulder, I was out surprisingly unscathed and finally free.

I was glad that on Tuesday I had asked Frank to park a few streets away to 'avoid the chaos'. It was working well - giving me enough time to get away from everyone and plaster a smile on my face before getting to his car. If he was still picking me up from the front of the school, he would have seen the relentless tripping and shoving and insults thrown my way, and I knew he wouldn't be able to help himself and would get involved. It felt like I had become the school's punching bag, or like there was a permanent 'kick me' sign on my back which for some reason I couldn't see. There was a part of me that hoped it was just part of some new kid hazing ritual and it would end, but I knew I was lying to myself with that one.

It was just safer for him to park further away and I could meet him there.

A smile found its way on my face when the familiar black sedan came into view and I half jogged the remaining distance.