Someone Out There Loves You (Adopted by Frank Iero)

58

ALEXA

The entire drive to the Chinese restaurant we were going to for lunch was spent trying to swallow my nerves. I was more nervous than when I met the guys for the first time. This was different though - back then it was excited nerves because I was meeting Frank's best friends, who just so happened to be my favourite band. Today however, I was nervous because I felt undeserving to be with them. Anxious might have been a better word for it. Not even the sound of the Revenge cd in the stereo could relax me. If anything, it was probably making it worse, a reminder of how entwined my life had become with the band, a reminder of how much I didn't deserve it.

Frank had been chatting about something the entire drive, though I kept tuning in and out. It wasn't deliberate, I was just getting lost in my head.

I'd spent some time in the bathroom this morning with the door locked behind me, fighting a battle with myself before caving in. I was still feeling drained and jumpy from it, my wrists and thighs stinging, raw, tender.

As we pulled into a parking lot and I could see the sign for the restaurant, my stomach was doing flips. Frank hopped out of the car, looking back through the windscreen and noticing I hadn't moved. I hadn't even unbuckled my seatbelt.

His eyebrows knitted together as he walked around the car to the passenger side door, opening it for me.

"You okay?" he asked gently, stepping back to allow me to exit the car in my own time.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded, unbuckling my seatbelt.

"Y-yeah. Sorry. I uh, I just felt weird out of nowhere," I said, taking a deep breath. I plastered a smile on my face to convince him I was okay. "I'm fine, let's go. I'm excited to see the guys," I said as cheerily as I could muster.

Frank gave me a quick hug after he closed the car door when I hopped out, kissing the top of my hair. He saw straight through my attempt of being fine - he knew something was up, but he also knew I wasn't wanting to talk about it. Instead, he settled for three words, enough to warm my heart and make me feel like I could do this.

"I love you."

With a smile playing at my lips, I looked down at my docs for the briefest moment, allowing his love to wash over me before I met his warm, love filled eyes.

"I love you too," I said softly.

His mouth pulled into a lopsided smile and he grabbed my upper arm lightly, giving it a gentle tug to encourage me to start walking with him.

"It's just the guys - it'll be fun," he reassured me as we walked.

I found myself nodding and let out the breath I was holding when we entered the restaurant, noticing it was a lot more informal than I was expecting. I really didn't do well with formal settings, so that immediately put me at a bit of ease.

After Frank spoke to the waiter, they led us through the maze of tables to up the back, where the guys were already seated. It was a six person table, Mikey and Ray sat on one end opposite each other, and Gerard was next to Ray.

Frank gave my back a final reassuring rub before the guys noticed us, erupting into a chorus of hellos. I panicked at first, not knowing where to sit, but Frank was ready to catch me before I could even miss a step.

"You sit next to Mikes and I'll sit next to you," he said quietly, a smile in his voice nonetheless.

I nodded, thankful for the direction. He somehow always knew when to do that. It was like he could sense when I was starting to panic because I became as competent as a two year old, needing explicit instructions and things spelled out for me. He never said anything to indicate it was a problem though, simply prompting me until I felt okay enough to do things myself and then he would back off.