Someone Out There Loves You (Adopted by Frank Iero)

84

ALEXA

Empty pizza boxes were stacked on the coffee table and plates had been replaced by mugs of coffee, though I had a sneaking suspicion Frank had said something to Gerard about giving me decaf because there were no stimulating effects that came with it. I was absolutely exhausted, though the heaviness weighing my heart down was taking the biggest toll.

I hated that I lost it in front of Mikey like that. I trusted him and I knew he wasn't going to judge me or anything like that, but it would have shown just how unstable I was. All it took was a stranger yelling at his kid to send me spiralling.

Since we got back, I was trying to pull it together, trying to make it look like everything was fine. Frank saw through it, of course, but he didn't say anything. He just held me a little tighter during the movie and murmured loving things that only I would hear.

As the movie ended, I peeled myself away from Frank and forced myself to get up, grabbing my empty coffee cup off the coffee table.

"Anyone want me to take their mug?" I asked the group.

I felt like the biggest burden to everyone and this was the only way I could think of attempting to rectify it. And also to maybe look like I wasn't in pieces and I was capable of doing things like any ordinary person.

"Leave it- I'll get it," Mikey said dismissively, waving his hand at the cluster of mugs next to mine.

"Nah, it's cool."

Looping my fingers through the handles to carry all four empty ones at once, Mikey still drinking from his, I received a chorus of thank you's, and I laughed as walked them to the kitchen. It wasn't much but it made me feel useful. I guess I was just trying to earn my reason for being here, even if it was clutching at straws to come up with an answer.

After placing them down beside the sink, I went to work washing them, my sleeves getting slightly wet in the process because there was no way in hell I would roll them up. I let out a quiet sigh. I hated when that happened.

The faint sound of footsteps made my eyes dart quickly to my wrists to ensure the sleeves were still down like they were meant to be. With that taken care of, my focus then tuned into listening to who it was while I washed the third mug.

"Hey Mikey," I said, not bothering to turn around.

Mikey let out a whine. "How did you know it was me?!"

I giggled softly and looked over my shoulder, seeing him screwing his face up in disappointment that he didn't get to sneak up on me.

"I could tell by your footsteps," I grinned.

"No way." He shook his head in disbelief. "You saw my reflection, didn't you?"

Snickering, I shook my head. "You were walking really lightly which meant you were trying to be sneaky and surprise me, and it would only be you or dad who would do that, but I know dad's footsteps and that wasn't it. Your footsteps are really easy to pick; you take long strides because you're so tall and your legs are so long."

"But Ray's taller than me! It coulda been him!"

I shook my head again and giggled. "Nah, see, it's not just the time between steps that matter. Everyone's got, like, a tone in their step. Ray walks with enthusiasm. You can hear it."

"What's mine?" he asked, intrigue creeping into his voice.

I sent him a half smirk. "At the moment it was sneaky."

Mikey chuckled like what I was saying sounded insane, and I suppose it was if you never had to learn the sound of each person's footsteps for the sake of knowing whether you would be safe or not. I couldn't tune it out even if I wanted to. Just another deeply ingrained habit that once served a purpose but was no longer important.