Someone Out There Loves You (Adopted by Frank Iero)

89

*A/N: just letting you know that this chapter gets kinda heavy, just in case anyone needs a warning*

ALEXA

The leaves were well and truly orange and red and littering the ground outside, the days shorter and greyer, and we were well on our way to Halloween. It had been two weeks since Frank found out about the hate page, my drug use and self medication, and the bullying at school, making it the end of the first week of October. It had been a rough two weeks.

The amount of times I had had uncontrollable outbursts and fits of rage and breakdowns that weren't at all proportionate to the inconvenience that caused them was too many to count. The amount of times Frank found me sobbing on my bedroom floor in the dark was also too many to count.

Not once had he snapped at me though. He would have had to have been the most patient, understanding person on the goddamn planet because he was right - taking away my self destruction tools made me hate him. I still loved him of course, but I couldn't control the times I would let some snarky comment slip. It wasn't like me at all and I hated it because Frank was the last person I wanted to say something horrible towards, especially when he was helping me, but sometimes that voice in my head found its way out of my mouth.

Frank knew it was the addiction and dark thoughts talking so he never took it personally. That didn't stop me from apologising profusely when I would come back into a more normal mood - and by 'normal' I mean sad or empty and crying. That was my default.

Everything else going on around me seemed to pass in a blur. School, surprisingly, wasn't too bad. At times I wondered if maybe the hell it once was was just some initial hazing which passed or everyone just lost interest in me, but I couldn't help but wonder if that one memorable interaction with Calli had anything to do with it. Or maybe it was because Vic was coming to school more, so I was alone less. I tried not to think about it too much, which was easily done when my head was filled with depressive thoughts and the desire for self destruction although minimal means to achieve it more often than not.

Vic had been chill about me pulling back on the weed and cocaine. It was a massive relief and that kept me going and made school feel like it would be okay. Without her, I would have been seriously struggling. I would vent my frustrations to her about Frank and how badly I wanted some relief, and like a good friend, she sympathised with me but she didn't cave. I think she was worried about me too.

I would also fill her in with the latest updates about Frank's surprise birthday party which she was invited to. It would be when she would meet everyone and neither of us could wait.

It was kind of a funny situation though because I was acting like a pain in the ass with everything going on and I had all these horrible feelings towards Frank - purely for forcing me into getting clean - and yet at the same time, I was busting my ass party planning for him so his birthday would be awesome. It involved a lot of back and forth texts with the guys, and they all seemed really excited about it. I had even gotten Jamia's number and was in contact with her to make sure I wasn't leaving anything out. I wanted it to be perfect. Everyone was really excited, and I was really grateful to have all of them on board because I never would have been able to do it alone.

The bonus about Frank being a Halloween fanatic meant the house was already decorated for the occasion. True to his word, on the first day of October we went on a drive to a pumpkin patch. It was the strangest experience of my life.

We were in the car for over an hour, Frank claiming that where we were heading was the best place to get carving pumpkins from. He had supposedly always gotten his pumpkins from here, ever since he was a kid, and at first I thought that was him just trying to sell it, but when we got there the old farmer who owned the place greeted him by name, and as it turned out, he wasn't joking. Frank introduced me as his daughter, and the old guy was speechless because he remembered when Frank was 'just a wee lad, barely able to see over the fence.' I didn't know how on earth a guy so old would have remembered that, but it was clear that this was a tradition that Frank did with his mom every year. When I realised that he was continuing his family traditions with me I almost cried.