Someone Out There Loves You (Adopted by Frank Iero)

13

ALEXA

Although I fell asleep easily last night, I awoke suddenly some time in the early morning thanks to an alarming realisation crossing my mind, pulling me out of my peaceful slumber and sending me on a mission from the get go.

I needed to find Andy.

We hadn't spoken in three days. That is, if you count the small exchange of words we shared before I lost it at him and stormed off. If you didn't count that, then it was before we went into lockdown. Considering we live in a psychiatric ward and are restricted with where we go and what we can do, not speaking to someone here for that long is almost an accomplishment. Not one I'm proud of though.

It is my fault we haven't talked. Andy hadn't done anything by wrong, and frankly if we weren't caught together, I could've been caught doing something else I wasn't meant to be doing and have would've been punished the same way. It was really only a matter of time. But that had nothing to do with why I didn't want to speak to him when we saw each other afterwards.

He deserved a proper explanation. If I know Andy, he would've been beating himself up for these past few days, thinking it was all his fault. That wasn't fair of me to put that on him.

I'd been trying to find a spare moment all day to track him down. I would have done this earlier, only I was distracted by Frank and his spontaneous outings. Don't get me wrong, I'm so glad they happened and I wouldn't trade it for anything, but I needed to make things right with Andy; he was my only friend in here. I was frustrated he wasn't in my group therapy this morning, and I didn't catch him at lunch either. Every time I walked past his room the door was open and it was empty. I was beginning to think he was avoiding me.

A flash of bright blue scrubs whisked past me as I paced the halls.

"Hey, uh, Elise?" I asked, attempting to keep my voice level and not laced with anxiety as I jogged to keep up with her.

She stopped in her tracks and turned to face me. "Alexa, hi! Can I help you with anything?" she asked, as bubbly as ever.

"Do you know where Andy is?"

She hummed, pausing for a moment to think. "Oh! I believe he's meeting with his treatment team to discuss his discharge - he's being discharged on Monday."

My mouth formed an O shape. "Monday?"

"That's right, dear."

My heart rate picked up. "Do you know when he'll be done? I need to talk to him." Urgency began creeping in.

"He should be free this afternoon." She frowned slightly at me, seeing I wasn't content with her answer. "If I see him I'll let him know you're looking for him."

"Thank you," I breathed.

She gave me a smile before spinning around and continuing down the corridor.

Monday.

That gives me four days.

Oh god.

I decided the day was going to pass agonisingly slow, so I went to the art and music therapy room in the hopes of killing some time. It worked for an hour or so, but eventually I put the guitar down and started planning what I was going to say. Pacing around the room with my hands on my head, my mind was drawing a blank. I didn't realise I had so little time. It made me feel incredibly guilty for taking this long to find him, granted, it was only three days, but still.

The clock read 4:23pm. Andy would be done soon. Not only was I running out of time to see him, I was running out of time to work out what I was going to say. Do I start with an apology? Do I say congratulations for leaving?