final round - lrh

thirty-five.

Luke's POV:

I haven't slept, but obviously, that's nothing new to me.

I've sat at my desk trying to think of plans, new tactics, new training to do with my army, but nothing is coming to mind. Anything to make us better than we are and I truly feel as if I'm hitting a brick wall.

I'm frustrated, and I'm mostly frustrated because my mind has been all over the damn place this past week.

I've been so distracted and I'm terrified I will continue to be distracted. After all, I can't afford to be distracted. Everyone's lives are in my hands and I need to set everyone up for the best success possible out there. If I don't do that, what kind of leader will I be?

I won't allow for my army to fall apart. I won't give Damien that satisfaction as Major Hood and myself have put into much work than to just give up.

I can't let everyone down here.

They're counting on me to win this and bring them home. They believe in me enough to have confidence in the thought of a life after this all. They all expect to go home and expect me to prepare them to be the absolute best they can be. Of course, I can't promise anyone that, but in my mind, I've promised everyone that.

I slam my fists against my desk in frustration as I drag a hand through my curls, feeling the way I've messed them up entirely. It's a terrible habit of mine considering whenever I'm angry, I seem to take it out on my hair. As a result, they are incredibly unruly and practically fighting me back at this point.

However, I am insanely frustrated and confused and lost as I've been staring at this blank piece of paper for hours and nothing has come out or happened. How the hell did it get to this?

How come every time I manage to think of something, my mind is taken over by a pair of brown eyes? How come every time I go to write something down, the only word my mind knows how to spell is her name? How come I'm only left angry that I can't just walk over to her cabin and beg her to sit with me while I try to accumulate some proper thoughts, hopeful with the idea of her presence?

How come I've allowed myself to be so distracted by one girl?

One girl who is the only reason I can sleep if she's beside me. She's stripped away this inability to sleep and relaxes me entirely as whenever I'm beside her, I get all the sleep in the world.

However, I took that away from me tonight and as a result, I certainly won't be sleeping. Instead, I'm left with my own demons as I beat myself up continuously for something that I can't focus on because she's on my mind; as she's halfway across the campgrounds.

Taking the piece of paper, I angrily crumble it up before throwing it at the trash can, where all the other fifty sheets of paper lie. I watch it join the pile, reflecting on all the other shitty ideas I had that were just as useless.

Focus Luke, fucking focus.

Before I can yell at myself any further, I hear the door to my cabin being slammed open, immediately grabbing my attention. This confuses me as no one comes into my cabin at all; especially at this time of night. I don't allow anyone entry in here and the fact that someone's coming in regardless is alarming and frustrating all at once. 

This better be good.

I get up to see whoever it is absurdly storming into my cabin at this hour of the night but am quickly beat to it as my door is slammed open and a shirtless, fuming Ashton stands before me. 

I look at him with concerned eyes as I start, "What the hell-"

I'm cut off the second Lila steps into sight, an oversized shirt covering her body as her face is red and cheeks are puffy. Her hair attempts to cover her face as it's clear she had been crying. What the hell is going on?