final round - lrh

fourty-five.

 "Nice work, Lila. Keep it up."

I squint one eye, getting incredibly closer to my target as I pull the trigger once more, begging for mercy and hoping more than anything that it just hits it.

Of course, this isn't the case as it is closer than my last shot, but still not where I need it to be. And of course, I'm still on the bullseye.

"You'll get there, LJ," Major Hood says to me comfortingly, as if seeing the defeat course through me.

"I hate this damn thing," I say, gesturing towards the gun as I want nothing more than to chuck it across the room.

"Yeah, well you need to learn to use the damn thing or you're screwed," Major Hood says, pointing out the obvious as I groan and throw my head back, taking it upon myself to initiate a break even though I'm far from deserving of one.

I place the gun down, grabbing a quick seat and a sip of water as I'm overwhelmed already. We've been in here for almost an hour and my lack of progress is nothing short of frustrating.

"You seem distracted," Major Hood says, taking the seat beside me as he flips it over so the back of the chair is facing me and rests his elbows on top of the chair, lacing his hands that hang off together.

I shrug my shoulders considering that is absolutely the case but I'd never in a million years admit that to him. His friend Luke is the only thing captivating my thoughts right now as all I can think about is what happened last night and the way he made me feel.

"Major Ho-"

"You know you can call me Calum, right?" he asks, raising his eyebrows at me with a smirk on his lips. I raise my own eyebrows, surprised by his words as I didn't know he was comfortable with me using his real name. "Just not around anyone but you don't need to call me Major Hood."

Calum.

That's going to feel weird leaving my lips.

Smiling, I start again, "Well, Calum, I was just going to say that it's impossible to focus on something when you know you're no good at it. My thoughts are just taunting me as they remind me that I'm a failure."

Calum shoots me an incredulous look, as if shocked by my words to describe myself. My own words don't surprise me as my lack of abilities behind a gun really is shooting me down and making me feel useless.

"We'll get you there, LJ," he promises. "Don't be so hard on yourself."

We'll get you there.

I feel like I've heard this quote a million times but have yet to 'get there'. It leaves me wondering just how long this is going to take. Am I actually going to get there?

"I knew I hated guns for a reason," I say, speaking of my normal life where I always was one to hate guns.

They're senseless and the only purpose of them is to kill. I never understood why they were ever allowed in an environment that isn't war.

"This is all new to you, it'd be weird if you were really good at it," Calum says.

"But I want to be good."

"And you will be," he assures, standing from his chair in order to offer me a hand. I take it, allowing him to tug me into a standing position as he takes the gun from the table I had set it down on. "I was nowhere near a pro when I first started shooting."

My eyebrows raise, intrigued to hear more as it's nice to hear of someone who was once in a similar position as myself.

"I was a little bit better than you but hardly," he says, moving the gun from hand to hand. "I just practiced every day and didn't allow myself to become frustrated. The second you become frustrated is the second you give up."