Bf means best friend OR boyfriend?

...just like me...

~Addison's point of view~

I'm lying on my boyfriend's chest, trying to enjoy the moment. But I can't. I can only think about how much softer and comfier Jay's chest is. What's wrong with me?! Don't get me wrong: I LOVE my boyfriend, but I can't stop thinking about Jay. How I failed him. How I hurt him. How it's all my fault. We haven't spoken after the breakup and it's breaking me. I always was afraid of breaking our friendship through our breakup. And it happened. I lost my best friend along with my now ex-boyfriend. ''Addi?'' Someone asks worried. How bad is it that the first thing popping up in my head is that Jay used to call me Addi? ''Addison?'' The voice asks again. I open my eyes and look at my boyfriend. ''Why are you crying? Tell me what's going on, please?'' He asks. I say it's nothing, just had a daydream and got caught up in it. I see in hos eyes that he isn't buying it, but he let's it go. I can't help but sigh in relief. Jay wouldn't let it go, since he flawlessly knew when I was or wasn't lying. Ooh, stop it Addison! Move on! I shake my head, get up, whisper to my boyfriend that I'm going to take a walk and that he can go home if he likes too and walk outside. I breath in the fresh air, put my ear plugs in and put some music on. I feel like Asad A Hussain is so sweet to me, but I wonder if he really cares about me. For example, I just whispered I was going outside. He didn't reply and I don't even think he noticed I got up and left! The first song playing is 'would you' by The Vamps. How coincidental! The song is so relatable in my life, with all those doubts in my head!

I just let my legs do their job and walk around, without even knowing where I'm going. After a long walk I bump into someone and fall on the ground. Of course, I was looking at my feet, not looking at where I'm going. I immediately start rattling ''Oh, I'm sorry! Did I hurt you? Are you okay? I wasn't watching where I was walking!'' I look up and immediately stay silent. I feel silent tears running down my face when I see the person I bumped into. Emmanuel. He helps me stand up and pulls me into a warm hug. When I ask myself why, I feel the tears running down my face rapidly. It seems like a waterfall! He pulls away and leaves an arm around my shoulder and walks me to his house. We sit down in his room, wich is very cozy. When you come in, his bed is in the middle of the wall in front of you. At the left, there's a closet and bookshelf. In front of the bed, there's a table with two beanbags and one bench. We sit down on the bench and he hugs me. We just stay silent and I enjoy the presence of one of my best friends. I missed him, but at the same time I was the one who always send him back to Jay. I broke up with Jay and hurt him after all! After a while Emmanuel asks me what's wrong and I tell him everything. He listens carefully and nods or hums from time to time. When I'm done explaining, he stays his calm self and tells me something I didn't expect at all:''I think your head and heart don't know what they want anymore. You should just take some time alone, away from everyone. Just hold on for a little longer. We have a week off of school next week and today it's Wednesday, so two school days left. I suggest you take all that time to listen to music, read and breath, it would also be good to stay away from social media. When school starts again, you will know what your head says and your heart wants and you'll be able to choose. I would explain to your boyfriend that you want some time alone, but explain it has nothing to do with him.'' I nod:''That sounds like a great advice, Emmanuel! Thank you! Can I ask you something?'' Emmanuel tells me to go on. ''Can I maybe stay here tonight? I don't want Diego to worry about me! He was in the hospital all day for several examinations and he needs to rest.'' I tell him. He smiles and nods:''Of course, Addison! We can have a little sleepover! It has been so long since we've done that!'' I smile. Emmanuel always knows how to cheer me up! He's an amazing friend!

~Jay's point of view~

I sigh and stare at the ceiling. I've been lying awake for two hours already and just can't sleep. I went to bed early, because I felt tired. Now I'm in my bed, I can't sleep. I could use a friend right now, so I take my phone and text Emmanuel if I can come over. He reads it and tells me to wait, since he needs to ask someone else first. That's weird! Who would that be?

~Emmanuel's point of view~

I look up from my phone and ask Addison if it's alright if Jay comes over too. She says that's okay, as long as Jay thinks it's okay too. I nod and look at my phone again. I tell Jay he can come over, but that Addison is here too and I don't want an argument. He tells me it's all right and that he's here in 10.

~10 minutes later~

I hear the doorbell ring and go downstairs to open the door for Jay. We walk upstairs together and I immediately smile at the sight of Jaddi giving a hug. I've always shipped them and I was pretty sad when they broke up, but there are no hard feelings, I guess. I'm glas they can be in the same room without arguing. I hope we can have a sleepover like we used to before Jaddison got a relationship. I sit down on the bean bag next to the bench, since Jaddi sits there and I join the conversation. Just a little smaal talk with the friends! After a while I ask them if they want something to drink and go downstairs to get it, and of course some snacks 😋, leaving Jaddi alone in my room.

~Addison's point of view~

Emmanuel leaves and immediately Jay changes the subject and starts a conversation I was hoping he wouldn't start talking about...

(-Addison AND •Jay)

• Addi?
- Yes, Jay? Oh Carrot he called me Addi again!
• I can see that you cried. So what's wrong? Do you want to talk about it?
- I just don't know what my head and heart want anymore! I was walking and litterally bumped into Emmanuel. He took me here and he gave me some advice. I don't want Diego to worry, so I asked Emmanuel if I could stay here. Diego really needs to rest!
• Is Diego okay?
- Yes, he just had a hospital day. Several examinations. He's probably tire...
*CHORUS BEST SONG EVER - ONE DIRECTION aka ringtone of Addison*
Ooh, Diego's calling. Yes? Hi, big brother! Yes, I'm okay! I'm at Emmanuel's. No. Yes, I was. No, Emmanuel said it's okay. Yes, I will. No, I won't forget! No, I'm not staying up late! Yes. No, I won't. DIEGO!! Don't even think about that! Hahahaha okay! Goodnight to you too! Give mom and dad a hug! Thank you! Bye, Diego! Kisses!
• He'll never stop being protective, huh!
- haha Yes he'll never change. It's still so sweet of him! I have the best big brother!
• true.
- Have you already looked on the attic if you can find something for Mason?
• No, I told dad I will start tomorrow. He needs to work tomorrow, so I'll have plenty of time to figure it out!
- I can help if you want? Four hands make easier work!
• That would be nice! Thank you!
- That's fine! Maybe Emmanuel can also come? Then we'll be done in a second! The last two classes are dismissed tomorrow, so we're out at 1pm.
• I totally forgot! That will be great then!

The next moment, Emmanuel comes in with a tray filled with snacks and drinks! We both help him and immediately ask him if he can help tomorrow. He says he can come. That will be great tomorrow! We watch funny YouTube videos, sing some Karaoke and dance before we all fall asleep.

_____________________

I really like this chapter, it's one of my personal favorites! I looked through my notes for this book and noticed the end is quite near! I'm really nervous for what my mind comes up with for the rest of the story. Feel free to leave your thoughts about the story in the comments! Thank you for reading all these chapters and having so much patience with me, I appreciate it so much!
All the love ❤️

xxx Dieuwke