Bf means best friend OR boyfriend?

...I'm afraid if I tell you...

~the next morning, Derek's point of view~

I open my eyes and decide it's time to get up, knowing I won't be able to fall asleep again. I sigh at the thought of having both my sons back. It's unbelievable faith has been so generous for me after everything I did the last 8 years of my life. I have been a total jerk and had a hard time controlling my anger, being addicted ro alcohol not helping. I was so nervous for meeting Mason, but he looked exactly like I expected: the beautiful nose and lips of his mother and pretty, big, calming, piercing, genuine eyes and gorgeous hair. He looks a lot like Jay, the resemblance being undeniable. Mason's shoulders are already starting to get broader, just like Jay. It won't be long until they'll both need to learn how to shave! They grew up so fast! I'm so happy I have both of them back! I felt really awkward telling Mason about the years after Olivia's death. Abusing my son and being addicted to alcohol isn't something I'm proud of, obviously. Mason took it well, though. We all started crying when I told them about Olivia's last years and her disease. I realise the daily struggles like it was yesterday. I loved her so much and losing her is the thing that still breaks me everyday. Knowing she's looking down on me doesn't help at all, it means she saw the drinking and abuse I put Jay through. I feel so ashamed of that. Olivia always knew exactly how to calm me down or keep me from grabbing alcohol to forget everything. Seeing her happy was even stronger than the alcohol, I litterally was drunk from loving her and I don't regret it the slightest bit! She told me the she had smoked in her teenage years, but in dramatic amounts. The doctors then told her that she needed to stop, because she would get COPD much easier the longer she smoked. When she stopped, the doctors told her it would be helpful to have a checkup every once in a while, to check on her lungs. They also said she still had a risk on getting COPD. The diagnosis was only 6 years after she stopped smoking and we all know how the rest of the story goes. 5 hears later she died. I have to say Jay and Mason are so steong for taking all this information so good, they really are strong.

I walk downstairs and get on with my day, I still have to work after all!

~2 months later, Jay's point of view~

A lot happened in these two months; Mason started coming here more and more and we really grew closer with each other and dad. Dad found my idea to divide the attic in two a great idea, so now I have my own studio. Addison and I spend a lot of time there. Mason has unofficialy joined the friendgroup of me, Addi and Emmanuel. Mason has his own bedroom next to mine now and we have sleepovers from time to time, which is really fun! Diego hasn't been feeling well lately, so I've barely seen Addison, since she wants to take care of her brother. I'm visiting Diego today, but I also go to check on Addison, since she always forgets to take care of herself when a loved-one needs taking-care of! I walk to the front door and ring the bell. A few seconds later, Camila, Addi's mom, opens the door and smiles, letting me in with a exhausted look on her face. I hug her tight and tell her to go upstairs and sleep. When I persuaded her to get some rest, I do the rest of the cleaning needed in the house. Addi's dad James is at work. After I cleaned the house, I go upstairs. What I see terrifies me: Addison is sitting on the ground against the wall next to the door of Diego's bedroom. Her shoulders hang forward and her legs are stretched out on the floor, her chin resting on her chest. She looks so utterly tired, I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes from the sight of my best friend in this state. I don't hesitate and walk over to her and pick her up to take her to her bed, but I'm shocked when I feel how light she is. She feels like fragile porcelain. She must not have eaten or drunk anything in days! I take her to her bedroom, lay her under her bedsheets and go downstairs to the backyard. I climb in the tree and take my phone to call my dad and Mason. Addison's family is like my family too, so I need to help them! Dad and Mason also don't hesitate and tell me they'll come as soon as possible. I sigh and fo back inside, making breakfast for everyone and dividing the food over three trays: one for Addison, one for Diego and one for their mother Camila. I take Camila's tray first, letting Addi and Diego rest for a little longer. I knock on the door and go inside. ''Camila, I have breakfast for you,'' I whisper. She opens her eyes, sits up straight, stretches herself out a little and taking the tray. ''Thank you, Jay. You really didn't need to do that!'' She thanks me, immediately attacking the orange juice. I can tell she's a little better than Addi, but I'm still not able tocall it healthy. ''How long ago since you drank or ate something?'' I ask straight-forward. Addi and her mom are both so selfless, they would litterally forget to eatand drink when caring for someone! Camila looks down, knowing I won't like her answer at all:''3 days. Diego's really not well. He has a lot of pain and we're all so worried! The doctors said he's fainting so many times because he has too much pain. He litterally faints when the pain gets too much and we need to give him morfine to give him rest. His body is really giving up and I can feel he starts to give up on life mentally too!'' I swallow the lump in my throat. Diago's like a brother to me. I need to be strong for them, so I nod and tell Camila I'll do everything I can to help and that dad and Mason are happy to help too. She thanks me again and again. I smile at her and turn around. That smile was filled with pain and sorrow, worry and stress. Luckily it's dark in her room, so she doesn't notice. I close the door behind me and go back downstairs to get Diego breakfast. I knock on his door when upstairs again and open the door. Diego is laying in his bed, but he doesn't look like himself. He looks like a shadow of the person he used to be. Still, he puts on a smile when he sees it's me. ''Good morning, brother. I thought Addison was checking on me again! What brings you here? You look so good, Jay!'' He greets me. I smile:''I've been good yeah. I put Addison in her bed, she fell asleep next to you bedroom door. I'm here because I heard Addi's voice and it sounded tired and unhealthy. Since I know how selfless you all are, I immediately knew help would be appreciated! How are you holding up?'' Diego sighs at my question:''Not great, man. I have a lot of pain. The doctors say it'll go away and it's just my nerves and stress and everything. And I believe them, I've been having a lot of stress lately and knew it wasn't good for my health. Dad's been off, I don't know. And mom is so insecure about herself and she thinks dad will stop loving her and then there's Addison, she's hiding behind her smile. I know she has a lot of demons, but can't get passed her wall. I'm scared she'll start again.'' Diego's eyes go wide as he says that last sentence, it clearly wasn't meant to come out. I furrow my brows:''She'll start what again?'' Diego avoids looking me in the eye:''cutting herself.'' That hit hard. Now I get the bracelets and the fact I'm not allowed in her bathroom and the fact she always locks herself in her bathroom when she had a dark day, playing loud music and shouting over it, sounding like she's in pain. That I didn't see it, makes me feel like a bad friend. How did I not see it? Did I try to avoid it? So many questions, no answers. I'll ask her about it later, when she had some sleep and some food.

After I talked with Diego for a while, I take Addison's tray with breakfast and go to her room. Dad and Mason just arrived too and are talking to Camila at the moment. I knock on her door and walk inside, since the door was open. I smile when I see her asleep so peacefully and calm. I think she was really tired and really needed sleep. She had almost two hours of sleep now, so I'll wake her to make sure she can still sleep tonight. ''Addi, wake up,'' I whisper. She opens her eyes slowly and I see the confusion grow in her eyes. ''I came here because I heard in your voice that you're tired, so I came and you were asleep next to Diego's bedroom door. I carried you here and you slept for two hours now. I wanted to wake you now, because you can't sleep tonight if you sleep the whole day. I made you breakfast, by the way.'' I clarify. Before she can ask about Diego, I tell her Diego is fine. It seems to calm her down. She smiles and thanks me for the breakfast. I smile:''No worries, I know you literally torture yourself to take care for others; you don't eat, sleep or drink enough. I'm glad I can help you, Angel.'' She smiles and looks down at her hands, which are in her lap tinkering with her blanket. Suddenly, she jumps up and walks towards her desk. I follow her and look at her iPad she took. She looks up and sees my confused face:''You remember that demo you let me make in your studio? I made that song by taking a video from someone on youtube and writing the lyrics. It's not the end product, the song isn't great, but it's okay I guess. The owner of the music put in the discription I needed to add their name in the title, which I did of course. You want to hear the demo, I think?'' I smile and feel the excitement rush over me:''Of course I want to!'' She laughs and shows the demo.

(I did write these lyrics myself and the music is this video on youtube, so I only did half of the work in the end. I'm sorry if I sound bad, I'm having a little cold and I've been blowing my nose all day, really annoying!! Anyways, hope you enjoy the song!)

Please do not share the song with anyone, I don't want that! This is for readers only! Thank you :)

After the demo, I'm in tears. It's amazing, great, I don't know what other words to describe it with. I'm litterally speechless. I hug Addison and hide my face in the crook of her neck, whispering to her:''That's amazing, Angel. I'm speechless. The lyrics litterally describe our friendship. It's beautiful.'' I feel her smile in my neck. For a moment, all my stress dissappears, I'm just happy having my best friend in my arms.

~Addison's point of view~

I was really nervous to let Jay hear my demo. After I wrote it, I realized the lyrics could be both Jay's and my perspective, which makes the song even more special. He takes me in a warming hug and I immediately feel my body relax as he whispers to me how amazing my song is. That means a lot to me. I smile at his words and, for a moment, the world doesn't seem so stressful anymore, I'm just happy with my best friend in my arms.

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Wow, what a chapter! I worked so hard on it! I really hope you like it. it has over 2000 words (2137), this is the longest chapter I've ever written! Truly mindblowing for me! Thank you so much for your support! It really gives me the courage to work even harder!
See you next week, have a great day!
All the love ❤️

xxx Dieuwke