Addison and Jay are besties from the moment they entered the world. Their bond is as strong as steel. What if love gets involved? Will their friendship take the lead, or will the love destroy everything? And what if others also start having a role i...
~back to the present, after the flashback (Addison had the flashback too)~ I take a deep breath and open the door to the kitchen. That flashback hit me hard. I hurt someone that didn't deserve to be hurt! Everyone is already sitting at the table. I feel the concerned stares of mom, dad, Jay and... I look at Diego. He looks concerned too. ''I can't do this anymore,'' I whisper and run upstairs. I forget to close my door, since I'm feeling like I can get an asthma attack every moment (I actually have asthma and I can't explain how it feels to have an attack, but it feels horrible). I haven't had an attack in years, so I threw my inhaler away a while a go. I never was out of breath any more, at least not quick, so I thought I didn't need it any more. I look at the closed window, craving for some fresh air, for the feeling of air flowing through my lungs. The tears start running down my face, because I start panicking, wich makes my breath go faster and faster. I'm shaking and the sounds of my environment fade away. Everything becomes black and the last thing I notice, is the heavy pain in my chest.
~Diego's point of view~
I look at my plate filled with my favorite food, (it's a dutch dish and I have no idea what the english translation is, when I looked it up, I came by sauerkraut? Here's a picture:)
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Actually, I'm not hungry. That's the first time we eat sauerkraut with smoked sausage and I don't want to eat it. It looks delicious, as always, but I just have no apetite. I'm worried about Addison. When I called her for dinner, she didn't reply. I thought she was probably listening to some music and couldn't hear me, so I went upstairs, although it's hard for me to walk the stairs, I'd do anything for my little sis. I mean, I thought she was listening to music, but what if something's wrong? Addison always tells me that I don't need to knock before I come into her room, so I just walk in and what I see, breaks my heart. Addison is sitting on her bed, staring into nothing, while the tears are streaming down her face. I stumble towards her as fast as I can, sit down on her bed next to her and take her in a hug. She seems to wake up from her thoughts. When she notices me, she wipes her tears away and says nothing's wrong. I frown:''Addi, I know you good enough to know you are far from okay.'' She sighs and whispers:''I don't want you to have another thing to worry about,'' thinking I didn't hear it, but I did. ''Sissie, i would worry way more if I saw that there's something making you unhappy than when you just tell me,'' I react. She hides even more in my arms and we both stay scilent for a while, I want her to talk and she is probably grabbing herself together to explain, or just thinking. Then, she starts talking:
(~Addison AND •Diego) ~I hurt him. •Who? ~Roy. I hurt him. He didn't do anything wrong. I'm a bad person. •No you're not! You broke up with him, right? ~Yes. •Why? ~To make sure I didn't play with his heart. I think it's horrible to pretend you love someone, when you are thinking you're in love with someone else. •So you protected him from months of pain by breaking up with him and being honest? ~If you say it like that it sounds way better than it is. •No, that's exactly what you did. I think you did the right thing. But... ~But what? •Are you happy with Jay? ~... •Addi? ~Yes, but it's a little awkward and I don't know why. •I'm happy if you're happy, sis. And I think the awkwardness will go away. You've been friends for so long and this is new, so it'll be okay. ~Okay then, if you say so! I'm just scared that I hurt Roy a lot! •You were honest and that's so important! You really did the right thing! ~... •It will be okay with you and Jay, since you two were always actually technically a couple, but without the relationship thing. I mean, if you didn't know you two were just friends, you just immediately thought you were a couple. Even I sometimes forgot it was just the best friendship ever and noticed some sparks from time to time. ~Two things. One: you're a dork. And two: I'm so going to ruin our friendship! •For both things the same answer: not at all! Are you coming downstairs? We're eating our favorite food! ~Yes! I'll be down in 5. I'll first fresh myself up a little. See you downstairs, dorky. •Hey! Don't give me a new nickname! You know you can expect payback, little one!
With those words I stumble downstairs and sit down at the dinner table. Mom sends me a question look, but I nod my head. She understands nothing is wrong and we all wait patiently until Addi comes down. In the meantime, lost my apetite. I'm so worried about Addison. She thinks she's a bad person, while I just see a totally different person! I see Addison as a caring, nice, funny and selfless person, even the best person I know! I wake up from my thoughts when the kitchen door opens. I see Addison, standing in the doorway. She looks around and stops at my eyes. Suddenly, she whispers:''I can't do this anymore'' and runs away. I know I'm not fast enough, so I look at Jay and nod towards the direction Addison ran to. He runs upstairs. I stand up and freeze when I hear Jay screaming:''NO! ADDISON! NOOOO!'' I stand at the bottom of the stairs and tell my mom to go upstairs and look at the situation, meanwhile, I call for an ambulance. While I press on the call-sign, mom shouts she's knock out and is breathing unregularly, wich probably means se had an asthma attack. I tell the women at the other end of the line and put away my phone, when I remember that I have an extra inhaler for Addison. I hid it in the bathroom, because she would want to throw it away. I stumble upstairs, take the inhaler and give her two doses. She reacts a little on it. At that moment, the ambulance workers arrive in her room. I tell them I had an extra inhaler and I gave her 2 doses. I gave them the inhaler as they take Addison to the hospital. I plump down on her bed and sit against the wall. Jay sits beside me, while mom and dad leave to go to the hospital. Suddenly, Jay starts talking:
(-Jay AND •Diego)
-I'm so worried. What was that? •Asthma attack. She didn't have one for years. The only thing that causes such a heavy one, is a lot of stress in a short period of time or a big effort. It's the first one. -What was she stressed about? •She told me that in trust. I'm sorry, but that's for her to tell you. -I want to know, Diego. You don't understand! •Maybe if you try to explain it? I will do the same as I did with Addison, I won't tell anyone. -I just love her so much that it hurts! •That's amazing to hear! She's in good hands with you. -I'm so crazy over her! That's why I'm so worried. I always cared about her, but now I care way more! I just want to know why she's so stressed, and I want to know why she didn't tell me. •I'm sorry, Jay, but only time will tell. I really can't say anything! -Alright then. I will talk to her about it when she's back home. •I think you better leave her alone for a while and then talk to her. It's probably heavy to have an asthma attack after such a long time. You know Addison. She is very determined. It was very heavy for her when the doctors told her she had asthma. She hated the fact that her body was weaker than her mind. She was always mad at herself, lost herself in running, to make the endurance of her lungs larger. She hated to depend from an inhaler. She hated herself for her weak lungs, although she couldn't help it! So I'm asking you to leave her alone for a few days, she really needs to process this, before her self-esteem drops again.
Jay nods and goes to his room. He needs to process all of this. When Addison was in that situation, Jay already lived with them, but he never knew the whole story. Addison didn't want that! The only thing Jay knew, was that Addison shut herself out and didn't want to talk about it. Jay never asked about it, because he saw it hurt her. With those thoughts, he falls asleep, dreaming about his best friend, who makes him totally crazy, hoping she would be okay.
If he found this a lot to process already, would he be able to process it when he knows the whole story? In Addison's mind, it was mostly better to not tell people things that can possibly hurt them...
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What did you think about this chapter? I found it a little confronting, because the way Addison thinks about her asthma, is the exact same way I think about it! As you noticed, I put a piece of me in the head characters. It gives a more personal side to the story, I think. What do you think will happen next? I love to hear ideas, feedback or just your experience reading the story! See you next chapter! All the love,
