Never Say Forever (LAMS READERS CHOICE)

Chapter Five

Option Two - Alex's POV

"Yeah, of course. You're always welcome, come on in."

I want to go downstairs and smack him. Why would he let her in? It's not like she's the one person I don't want to see.

It's not that I don't want to see her, it would just be so much easier if I don't. Easier on her, easier on me, easier on the kids.. Just overall easier on everyone all around. 

I had shut the door before, but I reopened it when I heard Eliza's name. I had to know what they were talking about. 

"What are you doing here?" I hear John ask nervously. I sit down in the hallway just above the stairs, leaning in to the conversation as much as possible. 

"I..I'm sorry for coming so late notice.. I just.." Eliza takes a deep breath and sounds as if she were about to cry. "I came back from the date." 

I frown and ball up my fist involuntarily. I should've known setting her up with Reynolds would mean trouble. 

"What's wrong, did the date not go well?" 

"That's the thing, it went great." She says with sadness in her voice. I unclench my fist and my eyes widen slightly as I listen in. 

"Then why are you sad? That's great that it went well." John tries, but I can tell my Eliza is still sad, and probably crying gently now. Or at least, she would be if she were in front of me. 

"Because.. Alex doesn't deserve this.. I'm such a terrible wife to him.." She bursts out. 

"Eliza.. Alex is.." John pauses. "He's dead.. You're not being unfaithful towards him-"

"Yes, I know that I'm not now, but I was." She sighs. "Back when Alex was.. still alive... I had seen this person before. I never told him, but I had an affair with the person I went on a date with for almost a full year.." 

I am taken back by this. I knew she was with Maria while I was in Jersey, but I didn't know she had been seeing her before then. I sigh quietly as I stand up, walking back to the room. I didn't want to listen to anymore, it would just make me feel worse. 

I close the door as quietly as possible and then sit down on  the bed, placing my head in my hands. I start feeling guilty. I should just go downstairs right now and go home with Eliza. Go home, be a good husband, a good father. 

But that's not what I wanted. I didn't want to be her husband. Sure, I wanted to be my kids' father, but how could I be that if I'm not her husband? 

Truth be told, we rushed into our marriage. We were only dating and were fooling around too much. We were forced into marriage, but at the time I thought that's what I wanted. I thought we were made for each other, and so did she. 

But after Angelica was born, we grew apart from each other. I don't know why, she doesn't know why, but we started resenting each other. 

I thought about John's question from earlier. 

Then why don't you want to see Elizabeth?

I sigh softly and stare at me feet. I didn't want to answer that question If I answered it, it means I accepted it. 

It means I accept Eliza and I getting a divorce. 

Death is so much easier than divorce. Then there doesn't have to be any custody battles. We don't have to worry about who gets the house, who gets the money. I know it would most likely be civil because Eliza likes to put on this act for everyone that she's nice and caring, and she is most times, but it would still be complicated. 

If I "died," she would be able to be away from me without court dates and prenuptial agreements and such. We could both move on without the legal stuff. 

I walk around the room and explore a little bit. I see a few toys in the corner of the bed and smile, immediately recognizing them as my children's. I grab the pink stuffed bear and set it on my lap, trying to imagine I was hugging my little girl close.

I could almost hear her giggles as I lay back on the bed, but when I open my eyes, they vanish. I look at the pink bear and frown. 

It stares at me with a plain face, seeming disappointed in me almost. I sigh and throw the bear back to the corner of the bed, rubbing my face. I just have to keep in mind death is easier than divorce..

I sit up and look to the door, hearing a faint crying sound from downstairs. I decide to distract myself by walking over to the window and looking out. From here, I could see the empty backyard John and I spent so many nights in. We would just lay down there, looking up at the sky and talking about life. 

I miss those days. Maybe we can do that tonight. 

I smile as I look out the window. I enjoy spending time with John, more than I do with Eliza. John is just.. He's not putting on an act all the time. He tells people how he feels, he's real and I love that about him. 

Eliza she's sweet but.. artificial. She's always hiding her feelings and such from me and her friends and family, but there's been a couple times I saw through it. Where she opened up and let me see the real her.  She wasn't a bad person, by all means. Just not as perfect as she pretends to be.

I know I shouldn't be comparing my wife to my best friend. It's a terrible thing to do to either of them, but I couldn't help myself. It happened all the time. I would be sitting and writing, and I would see myself describing how one was better and vice versa. 

I was stuck between them, honestly. They're both very close to me. 

And I'm aware they both like me. I had always known Eliza at least used to love me, that much was obvious, but I wasn't aware John was until I "died."

While I was with the Burr family, I had asked Aaron to check on people in the town for me, and he came and told me everything going on. At first, I found John's mourning a bit excessive, but after I visited town for the first time, I saw why.  He liked me, as more than a friend. 

i smile at the faint memory and then shake my head. He's too mad at me now, and there's nothing we can do. I'm supposed to be dead, I couldn't be with him without other people finding out about me. 

Hell, I couldn't even be here without people finding out about me. Look at me now, up in the guest bedroom of my best friend's house while my wife is downstairs, crying over my death. I can't stay here. 

I need to go back to the Burr household. They said I was always welcome back, and now I realize I'll have to stay there until I can find some way to move to a different town. Maybe back to Nevis, who knows. 

All I know is I can't stay here. 

Option 1: Sneak out the back door
Option 2: Sneak out the window

Place your votes here -->

I think the four days works well, so I'm going to keep that as the voting schedule as long as you guys are okay with that. 

1289 Words