Her Beautiful Innocence

15 | ℜ𝔢𝔞𝔩𝔦𝔱𝔶

Sophia's POV

I sat up, breathing heavily. My head was pounding, luckily not so much that I wanted to bang my head against a wall. I grumbled under my breath and rubbed my forehead. I had one big and crazy dream last night.

I recalled me and Grayson mocking each other and having conversations I never thought I'd have, especially not with him.

I recall the way I moved my body against his, as if we were together, as if we were one. The way my skin glided over his. The way his rough hands rested on my hips while I swayed them from side to side in a slow pace. He sometimes glanced at my lips, I'd have no idea how to react, so, as usual, I just blushed stupidly and looked away.

The song kept fading more and more into the background, he was my first and only priority that night. I didn't know, still don't, what I wanted to do or say to him, but I simply wanted to be with him. Right there and then. 

But it was all a dream.

Some part of me wishes it wasn't. I mean, we almost kissed! We were so in the moment, our faces only inches apart, the only thing stopping us were...us. I guess we both weren't ready, maybe he just didn't want to, but I...I don't even know myself why I didn't go any further. Probably because he could have any girl, so why me? I was just going to be another fling of his. 

Grayson's reputation for being a bad boy and player wasn't a secret in our school. I've heard plenty of rumors about him. "He's been in bed with the various amount of girls here." and "I heard he only slept with women, because they're more mature and know how to please a person." even "He gets you in bed at night and in the morning he won't even know your name." I've heard it all.  

Although I didn't understand half of it, I did some bits and pieces, and I just couldn't believe that, could I?
We're talking about Grayson here, a part of me said.
Yeah, I know, I haven't even known him for more than five or six days, let alone talk to him more than a few sentences, but I just couldn't see it. He wouldn't do that, would he? 

"You can be so oblivious sometimes, Sophia. You try to see the good in people, but in some there just isn't any left. Can't you see what they're doing?! They are making you feel bad about yourself, they make you feel small. It's ridiculous! Even if you get hurt, you still try to help the people who made you feel weak, who broke you..." One of my old friends' words replayed inside my head. Carrie's words.

I shook my head to clear it, shoving these thoughts to the back of my mind. Grayson is good. Everyone has good in them. With some you just have to be patient.

But, as I was saying before, the more sensible part of me did wish it all just was one, wild dream.
I told him I was in. I told him I wanted to play. What exactly I agreed to, I have no clue. But everyone has already told me to stay clear from Grayson, to not let him play his devilish games on me, but I think I just did the opposite. 

I wanted to slip out of bed, but felt a body next to mine. I shot up straight and looked down at the person lying next to me. 

When I saw who it was, I never felt so relieved. For a second I thought it was- no, that wouldn't be possible. It was all just a dream.

I poked Liv until she subconsciously rolled away from my touch and muttered some curse words in her sleep. I snickered and silently climbed out of bed, I didn't want to wake her. 

As I walked over to the bathroom, I halted in my steps and turned around. If we didn't go to that party, what exactly did we do? I can't remember. How can I not remember?