Memories of You (Completed)

Chapter 44

After that incident, mas lalong umingay ang pangalan ko. There were some who sided with me, but of course there were some who hated me at the same time. Well, that's life. Not all people will like me and I get it. I accept it.

Wala rin naman akong pakialam. Whether I lose my title as a well-knowned writer, it's okay. I do not care. It won't make me stop writing pieces. Never.

Dahil sa nangyari, I chose to fly away again. Far from everyone. I never opened my social accounts and even turned off my phone so no one could find me. I don't want to be found. I want to be alone, far away from those people who keeps on making my heart bleed.

I was just starting a new life. I was just about to recover from what has happened way back then. Nakakainis lang, kasi bigla bigla sila susulpot na parang kabute tapos manggugulo. Sinabi kong ayoko, hindi sila makaintindi.

Hindi ako handang magpatawad. Hindi ako handang lumimot. Hindi ko kaya. Hindi ko pa alam kung paano. Binalot ng galit at sakit yung puso ko. Whenever I see them, it pains me. It brings back what happened before. At kahit kailan, hinding hindi iyon mawawala sa alaala ko.

Imagine, I trusted him with all my heart. Nagpatuloy akong maniwala sa kanya, kahit ang katotohanan ay nasa harapan ko na. Nagtiwala at naniwala ako kasi mahal ko siya. Pero ano? Niloko niya ko, ginago niya ko.

A day before our wedding, I already knew that something was bothering him. But he never told me anything. And then I didn't mean to eavesdrop when he was on the phone, talking to someone.

I was near enough to hear what they were talking about. And when I heard it, I felt like my heart was shattered into pieces.

‡ FLASHBACK, A YEAR AGO ‡

“Hindi ko alam kung papaano Minella. Susubukan kong ayusin. Alam mo kung gaano ko kamahal si Blythe—”

“Eh ako?! Ayokong lumaking walang ama ang anak ko Colm!”

Huh, what? Anak, what? Tama ba ang narinig ko? Stressed ba ko at kung anu-ano na ang naririnig ko?

“Kaya nga susubukan kong ayusin! Hayaan mong ako ang magsabi sa kanya Minella!”

Tears pooled in my eyes. Leaving him alone in the room, running away. I felt my heart suffer in pain.

I began asking myself, why? What have I done to deserve this? After all the sacrifices, risks, love, and care I have offered—why am I getting hurt in return?

I know that love isn't just about happiness, but sadness as well. But why? Why does it have to be like this?

The whole night, I was thinking. I didn't sleep at all. Until morning came, the wedding day.

I was wearing my beige bridal gown, looking at my reflection in the mirror. Trying to stop myself from crying. Still feeling the pain I have felt last night.

“Anak, finally. I'll be seeing you walk down the aisle.” Madamdaming sabi ni mommy.

I do not even know what to tell her. I do not know what to answer. Whether I am going to open up or suffer alone, I don't know.

All I know is that I am in great pain, that my heart is bleeding non-stop.

The doors of the church opened for me. Several cameras flashed upon the door opened. The tears I've been holding back, rolled down my cheeks.

I ain't crying because of happiness. I am crying because I am in pain. A pain that I do not know when or how to heal.

There, I saw her, standing as she was wiping away her tears. It makes me want to slap her face so hard. Asking in my mind, how can she betray me? I treated her like a sister, a real one. I loved her with all my heart. So, why? How can she do that to me?