Memories of You (Completed)

Chapter 36 (A special POV)

COLM'S POINT OF VIEW.

My heart was locked in sadness, but she came along the way. My heart was then filled with bliss again because of her. Whenever I got to talk to her, I smile from ear to ear. Whenever I got to have even just a momentous interactions with her, my heart is filled with joy. I never imagined myself this happy again if she didn't exist. Indeed, Blythe is my euphoria.

“Ang hirap kalimutan ni Aidan. Ang hirap niyang hindi mahalin. Kahit anong gawin ko, siya pa rin yung nakikita ko at gustong mahalin ng puso ko.” malungkot na sabi ni Blythe.

Everything was fine, not until I was slapped by reality. Blythe and I will never stand a chance. For I know that aside from capturing my heart, she also have stolen the heart of my closest friend. To avoid any clash of views or conflicts, I had to forget her. I had to forget of what I feel even when it means forgetting my own happiness as well.

I need to forget what I feel. I need to act like I have never felt anything. I need to pretend like I never liked her at all. At the end of the day, I still have chosen to take a step back and lock up myself in the sadness again, as if nothing ever happened.

“I told you not to cry over a small thing, right? You know how much I hate seeing you cry.” mahinang sabi ko sa kanya.

Kinailangan kong tumigil sa paglalakad papalayo sa kanya nung marinig kong isigaw niya ang pangalan ko. At ni hindi ko na magawang tuluyang maglakad papalayo.

“How is that seeing you walk away from me a small thing?” malungkot na wika niya at kasabay non ang pagtulo ng mga luha niya.

Parang pinipiga ang puso ko sa sobrang sakit. It's like I am torturing my own self by loving her. Loving her is not that easy, because honestly, loving her is so dangerous and yet I risked myself.

“It's a small thing. I am doing you a favor. I know you couldn't walk away from me so I am doing it for you.” sagot ko sa kanya.

Dahil lolokohin ko lang ang sarili ko kung maniniwala akong may nararamdaman siya para sakin kahit kaunti lang. Na iyong katiting na nararamdaman niyang 'yon ay sapat na dahilan na para ipaglaban ko siya hanggang sa wala ng matira sakin na kahit ano. Handa akong ibuhos ang lahat para sa katiting na nararamdaman niyang iyon.

“But...I don't want you walking away from me.” malungkot na sabi niya at nagsimulang tumulo ulit ang mga luha niya.

Natahimik ako saglit habang nakatingin sa kanya. Nagdadalawang-isip sa kung anong dapat gawin. Pero sa huli ay nagawa kong mas lumapit sa kanya at punasan ang mga luhang hindi naman niya dapat sinasayang para sa isang katulad ko lang.

“If I will not walk away from you, you will just keep on crying and getting hurt. I do not want to burden you with what I feel. It's the least I can do to make you happy.” sabi ko sa kanya.

Sa huli ay nagiging taksil ang puso ko. Taliwas ang ibinubulong nito sa isip ko. Minamanipula ng emosyon ko ang isip ko at sinasabing sumugal ako sa isang bagay na walang kasiguraduhan.

“But I don't feel happy at all! I feel so sad! My heart is breaking into pieces whenever I see you walk away from me! How does that make me happy!?” inis na sigaw niya sakin habang umiiyak.

Pero hindi ba't ang daya ng parteng iyon? Gusto niyang manatili ako sa tabi niya gayong hindi naman ako ang nasa puso niya. Ayaw niya kong pakawalan gayong wala naman siyang balak buksan ang pintuan ng puso niya para sakin.

Gayunpaman, masyado na yata akong naging alipin ng nararamdaman ko't kahit alam kong masasaktan ako ay handa akong manatili sa tabi niya.

“Please...please stop walking away from me. Don't make me run after you.” umiiyak na sabi niya saka ako niyakap ng mahigpit.