Memories of You (Completed)

Chapter 12

I cried, the whole night.

Things, questions were formed in my mind. Like, am I not enough? I mean, is there something wrong with me? Am I that stupid to be fooled a lot of times?

Do I deserve this?

Ginawa ko naman lahat. Nagpatawad ako, tinanggap ko ulit siya when he said he wants me to take him back. Sinubukan kong kalimutan iyong nangyari sa nakaraan. Isinantabi ko yung galit, yung sakit. Hinayaan kong maghari yung pag-ibig sa puso ko, pero bakit ganito?

Hindi ko naman siya pinilit mahalin ako. Hindi ko naman siya pinilit bumalik sakin kung ayaw niya. Hindi naman ako nagmakaawa. Hindi naman ako nagpaawa. Pero bakit ganon?

Umiwas ako. Sinubukan kong iiwas ang sarili ko. Para wala na siyang masabi pati na ang iba. Pero ano? He said we both feel the same way.

I mean, why do guys like him exist in this world? Guys who will lead you on and then dump you like a trash the moment you fall for them. Do their conscience even let them sleep peacefully at night knowing they've hurt someone intentionally?

Sana ay ganon lang din kadali para sakin lahat. Sana ay ganon lang din kadali na kalimutan ang lahat lahat. Ang kaso, hindi. Hindi ko kaya.

I was at the stage of moving on, but what? He stopped me. He came back to me. He said he wanted to start something new. And then what? Maririnig ko ang lahat ng 'yon?

And what irks me the most is that I couldn't even hate him even though I wanted to. I feel like, the more I want to hate him, the more I hurt myself. I am fooling myself because I know, I couldn't hate him.

Why does love have to be this painful? Why does it have to be this unforgettable? Why does it have to be this complicated?

“Blythe?”

Kaagad kong pinunasan ang luha ko matapos kong marinig ang katok sa pinto at ang boses ni mommy.

Hindi ako sumagot hanggang sa bumukas na lang iyong pinto at pumasok si mommy habang nakangiti sakin.

I don't even know if we're already okay and now I'm having another problem. What kind of life do I have to live?

“Are you still mad at us?” tanong ni mommy saka siya naupo sa tabi ko at hinaplos ang buhok ko

“Nah. Why would I mom? What gives me the right to be mad at you for a long time? Anak niyo lang naman ako.” sagot ko saka ko sinimulang paglaruan ang mga daliri ko

“Blythe, I'm sorry. We didn't know you feel that way anak. We didn't even know you've been seeing your tita Kyara.” sabi ni mommy

“Because I told her not to tell you. I begged her not to tell you. Palagi din naman kayong wala, so what's the point of telling you mom?” sagot ko

“Blythe.” mahinang pagtawag niya sa pangalan ko at ramdam ko ang lungkot sa boses niya

I've known my mom to be the most toughest woman, but seeing her like this right now makes me melt. It melts my heart. It hurts me. It makes me want to cry.

“Kapag sinabi ko ba, may magbabago mommy? Diba wala naman? Sasamahan niyo ba ko ni daddy? Diba, hindi naman?” sabi ko sa kanya saka ako tumingin sa kanya