Memories of You (Completed)

Chapter 32

A sudden noise woke me up from my sleep. The night sky full of illuminating stars and the luminous moon is what I saw upon looking outside my window. I turned my gaze into that small clock placed at the small table beside my bed....it's almost midnight.

I then saw a portrait of us beside the small clock you have given as a birthday gift during my sweet sixteen. A nice portrait of us. His other hand wrapped around my waist while the other one was pinching my cheek as our eyes were smiling. Happiness is what I have seen. But never did I thought that it would be the last portrait of us.

Whenever I see that portrait of us, I feel mickle of emotions I could never conceal nor disavow to myself. I feel joyous because of that sweet smile of him, but still feel anguish because I will never be able to see that again. I feel ireful to myself for not being able to do anything just to rescue him from that accident and was the reason for his death. Never did I thought that the life I have right now would mean taking away his. If only I knew, I shouldn't have gone far away from him that made me lose you, forever.

If in the end je will just leave me behind with a shattered and bleeding heart, why did he bother building me up? If in the end he will just let me see him lying in a coffin with his eyes shut and without that sweet smile anymore, why did he need to be with me every night before and make sure I will fall into a deep sleep with a sweet dream? If in the end he will just make my heart beat stop because of not being able to stay beside me anymore, then why did he need to make my heart beat so fast by telling me he loves me more than I could ever love myself?

Now, tell me how am I able to continue living this life knowing that someone died to keep me alive? The worse part of it is it was him. His life in exchange for my life. He had to die for me to live. He had to close his eyes for me to open mine. He had to give up his smile and paint it on my lips. He needed to be gone forever just so I could stay here alive.

But, life is nothing without him here. It will never be the same again and there will always be a missing piece of me because he is gone, forever and ever.

“Ate Leighton, umuwi ka kaya muna?” bigla ay sabi ni Ayesha, kapatid ni Aidan.

Pero imbes na sumagot o magsalita ay nanatili akong nakatingin sa kabaong kung nasaan ngayon nakahiga si Aidan.

Walang luhang gustong kumawala sa mga mata ko, pero hindi ko alam kung ilang balde na ba ang nailuha ng puso ko. Gusto kong umiyak nang umiyak, pero kailangan kong tuparin ang ipinangako ko sa kanya noon. Hindi ako iiyak dahil ngiti ko ang gusto niyang makita.

“Nagugutom ka ba ate? Ikukuha kita ng pagkain.” sabi ni Ayesha at tumayo na, pero pinigilan ko siya at nginitian.

“Ayos lang ako Yesha. Hindi ako nagugutom.” sagot ko sa kanya.

Tumango naman siya at ngumiti saka siya ulit naupo sa tabi ko at kagaya ko ay napako ang tingin niya kay Aidan.

“Alam mo ba ate, naikwento ka sakin niyan si kuya. Bukambibig ka nga niya eh. Mas naikwekwento ka pa niya samin kaysa dun sa sinasabi mong niligawan niya. Iyong Cindy?” sabi ni Ayesha.

“Mm.” sagot ko saka ako tumango sa kanya.

“Inaasar nga siya minsan ni mommy. Kung yung Cindy ba talaga ang gusto niya o ikaw kasi, mas madami pa siyang nasasabi samin tungkol sayo.” dagdag pa niya.

Nilingon ko siya pero nanatili ang tingin niya kay Aidan habang nakangiti at pinipigilan ang sariling umiyak.

Nakakaguilty. Nawalan siya ng kapatid dahil sakin.