Falling, Fallen | ✔️

50

~Soren's POV~

Another month passed by before I even knew it. I looked at Ayla from where I stood in the kitchen, watching her eat the food I had made her for breakfast today. She had to leave for work in a little while, but I had the day off, so I decided I'd make breakfast for her.

I stared at her intently, taking in the sight of her face. She and I were supposed to split in two weeks, to file for divorce and then move all of her things out of my house. Two more weeks and she would be gone, like she was never even here. Two more weeks and I wouldn't get to make breakfast for her again. Two more weeks, and I would be left alone again. It sounded like bullshit to me. I didn't want her to leave. I didn't even want to divorce her. The idea of her staying here with me, as my actual wife, had crept into my mind so many times by now that I knew that was what I wanted the most.

Ayla suddenly stood up from the couch and came into the kitchen, glancing over at me as she put her plate in the sink. "Thank you." She said softly, like she always did, and then she bid me goodbye before she left to head to work.

Now that I was left to my own devices, I decided I should probably go take a shower since I hadn't yet. I headed upstairs and into my bedroom, entering the bathroom without picking out a change of clothes first. It wasn't like I couldn't just walk naked in my room. I showered pretty quickly and then got dressed in my room, grabbing my phone from my nightstand when I heard it buzzing obnoxiously against the wood. Luca was calling me. I answered the call and lifted my phone to ear. "Luca, what's up?" I asked, plopping down on the edge of my bed.

"I'm waiting to be let in at the front door, moron. I know you're home because you told me yesterday that you have the day off from work." He said, sounding impatient. I smiled in amusement, having forgotten that I had even said that, and stood up from my bed. "Alright, I'm coming." I chuckled, jogging down the steps as I hung up the call and slid my phone into the pocket on my sweatpants. I opened up the front door and Luca just came walking on in, making me shake my head. After shutting and locking the door I followed him into the living room, where he plopped down on the couch. "Where's Ayla?" He asked, looking at me as I sat on the other end of the couch. "Uh, she's at work right now actually." I answered, causing him to grin.

"Good, so we can talk then." He said, clapping his hands together. "So tell me, are you ready for the divorce? It's coming up pretty quickly." He just had to remind me, making me cringe. I didn't exactly want to think about that. "No, I'm not ready." I grumbled, slouching back into the couch. For a moment he just stared at me, like he was trying to figure something out. "You have been acting weird lately, dude. Did something happen? Did Ayla get in a fight with you?" Luca asked, furrowing his brows in confusion. I pursed my lips and turned my head away, not wanting to quite admit it. "No, I just screwed things up. That's all." I answered vaguely, earning a glare from him. He gave me an urgent look and waved his hand expectantly. "Well, hurry up, idiot. Tell me what happened!"

So I told him, "Ayla told me she loves me and I might've rejected her in the heat of the moment. I didn't mean to and it's not even true what I said, but I just wasn't thinking right. Sure, a lot of girls have said that sort of thing over the years, but Ayla's different. It was the first time in a long time that I could have had something with the girl I love." I muttered, beginning to stress out about the situation all over again.

Luca stared at me and raised his brows. "Well, that's a good thing, isn't it? When did she tell you this? Last week?" He asked, causing me to cringe. He would probably beat my ass for what I was about to say. "Uh, no." I chuckled nervously. "Actually, she told me a little over two months ago." I said, and a heavy silence settled between us. He stared at me incredulously, baffled. "You've just let this shit simmer like this for two months?! What the fuck?" He hissed, only resulting in me groaning in frustration. "It doesn't even matter anyway! It's not like I can just tell her the truth, can I? I don't even deserve her." I sighed, leaning my head back against the couch.

Now Luca just looked downright annoyed. "You are possibly the dumbest motherfucker I have ever met." He told me firstly, shaking his head. I scowled at him but he just completely ignored it. "You need to tell her, Soren. If you just leave this as it is, she will fall out of love with you and then there's no going back after that. She's great for you, and you clearly both want to be with each other, so just talk to her. You have literally every opportunity, since she lives with you." He insisted, causing me to frown and look at him with uncertainty.

"But I don't know if I should do that to her. I mean, I made her cry. Do I even deserve to be with her?" I worried, causing him to inhale deeply and then stare at me with his brows raised. "I'm telling you right now that you have to tell her the truth. Whether or not you deserve her isn't up to you." He said, making me bite my lip in thought, still uncertain. I wanted to tell her, I really did, but I didn't know if she would want to even hear what I had to say.

"Okay, since you're still on the fence, let me ask you this," Luca began, "If Ayla fell out of love with you and eventually ended up with another man, would you be okay with that? Would you be fine knowing that you could be in his shoes, if you'd just said something when you needed to?"

The thought of Ayla with another man made me narrow my eyes at him, annoyed at him for even suggesting that. "No, I wouldn't." I snapped, causing him to snort. "Then grow some balls and tell her. Because that's what will happen otherwise." He said. I stayed quiet and Luca got up off the couch, groaning as he stretched his arms out. "Now then," He muttered as he walked towards the kitchen. "Time to eat."

I didn't pay him any mind, stuck on the thought of Ayla. Luca was right. If I didn't say anything, she'd fall out of love with me eventually, probably even find someone else at some point. Maybe that was what she needed, but right now I couldn't let that happen.

I'd told her I was a selfish man, and I couldn't let her go. Not without trying first.