The Ringleader | knj

53

"Who knew your hidden car-wrecking talent would actually come in handy," he laughed, wiping the beard of sweat off of his forehead as he parked the car in one of the drop-off spaces.

We had finally arrived at the airport.

I chuckled at his comment, bringing my eyes up to meet his.

"There's still something I'm confused about though," I murmured, deep in thought. He looked back at me, tilting his head slightly.

"What is it?"

"Why did you sacrifice so much for this moment? Like that man said, why did you do all of this for some random insignificant girl?  You could've easily given me back when you had the chance and I certainly wasn't much help to you guys..." I curiously questioned him, my fingers grazing the fresh bruise upon his lip. He smiled at me, shaking his head.

"Don't listen to that foolish idiot. If I got to escape to my freedom, then you deserve to go and gain yours," he took my hand, shaking it softly. "So its only fair that I let you go," he said and I nodded, grateful for his decision.

We both turned our heads as we heard a plane beginning to take off in the distance. My palms grew sweaty as he rested his hands upon mine.

"Your flights soon," he looked up at me, his voice hoarse. I didn't say anything, staring motionlessly at the dusty glove compartment in front of me.

"Seoyeon?" he whispered, squeezing my hand.

That voice- his voice.

The voice I'd never be able to hear again... the voice that would haunt me in my mind as regret for leaving him, for leaving this opportunity that I so longed to be ours.

I swallowed the huge lump in my throat, nodding at him. He bit his bottom lip, gently tapping the steering wheel with his fingers as if to distract his thoughts.

"So this is goodbye?" I sadly smiled, the tears in my eyes growing denser by the minute. Although I could see him hurting, he flashed me a smile of encouragement and nodded.

"I guess it is." he sighed, resting his head against the headboard of his seat.

"I don't want to go," I felt as a tear escaped, quickly dabbing at it with my fingers. My words surprised him and he turned to face me, his lips parted.

"You've been wanting this ever since I met you Seoyeon. Don't let me distract you from your goal. I promise you, there's something much better waiting for you out there," he said, cupping my face between his hands. I sniffled, blinking back the raging river full of tears I could feel seeping out.

"My goals changed Joon," I muttered, my eyes carefully keeping their distance from his. He raised an eyebrow, confused by what I'd meant.

"To what?" He murmured, curiously.

"To you...to us. To finally being able to know what it's like to have a family that actually cares about me, and to have an opportunity to stay with someone who actually admires me for who I am," I watched as the tears slowly fell from my eyes, blurring my vision as they trailed down my cheeks.

He looked up at me pitifully, his dragon-like eyes soft and tender as he wiped them away.

"I know Seoyeon, I want this too. But we can't... I can't take you in no matter how hard I try. The thought of you getting hurt from the dangerous activity that Bangtan is involved in... I'd never be able to live it down if anything happened to you because of me," he sadly sighed, tilting my chin up to face him.

"But atleast we have the memorises. The memories are the things we cherish the most, because unlike reality, they're not temporary and stick with you forever," he thoughtfully said, caressing my cheek affectionately.

I sniffled a little, unsatisfied with his response, but grateful for his attempts.

"Memories haunt you. They remind you of what you could've of done, but you chose not to do. They highlight all the flaws you made in your decisions, making them even more painful than they were to begin with." I uttered monotonously, a deep and depressing rain-cloud hovering high above my head.

He chuckled at me, cupping my face in his hands.

"For a girl that can hardly work a washing machine, you sure do have a lot of knowledge up there," he joked, making me smile a little.

But like reality, that smile was temporary and faded quickly.

"I love you Joon," I whispered at him, as if his warm smile had automatically triggered my words.

His smile grew wider, the sides of his cheeks boring his two signature dimples laying hollow.

I watched in satisfaction as he planted his lips upon mine, as if his lips were a bandage that radiated immense comfort to my sorrows.

The amber rays of sunset shone brightly upon us, shadows dancing around the walls of the car as he brought his hands up and placed them around my neck, deepening it.

The sunlight danced around us, streaks of pink and gold surrounding us as he moved his hands to my hair, gently tangling it around with his hands. I brought my hands to his chin, a small smile forming upon his face as the moment lasted.

Perhaps it had only been 10 seconds, but to us it had felt like a lifetime- a lifetime where we were together with no obstacles or pressure.

Hesitantly, I pulled away, watching sadly at the heart-breaking expression that formed upon his face.

"I- I need to go," I quickly said, unbuckling my seat-belt.

He didn't say anything as I slowly slammed the car door behind me, slumping the heavy rucksack upon my shoulder. The members had been kind of enough to lend me some money to help me get started with my new life abroad.

I took one last glance at the car, watching  for the final time as he pursed his lip and lifted up the hand break to reverse and turn outwards... driving farther and farther away into the distance.