Voice of the Mafia

Chapter 26

Doctor Gaffigan arrived to the apartment around eleven in the morning. She immediately tended to Boss's wound first, finding that it was healing nicely and soon would be closed up as long as he didn't strain it. I was pleased that he was taking it easy here and was doing much better here than he would at the office where no one would dare tell him to stop.

The Doctor gave boss another week of bed rest and put a gauze pad over his wound instead of wrapping it up as we had before. Progress.

Then it was my turn. Since my wounds would be inside, she had boss leave my room so that she could make sure that I was healed up down there. I was used to doctors assessing the area so I let her do her thing. There were times that I would feel uncomfortable but wherever she touched didn't hurt. In fact, there was no more pain.

"It seems that you have healed physically here. You can resume sexual activity as long as you feel up to it." As I dressed, her eyes wondered over my body to all the spots of yellowing where I was finally healing. In fact I had healed so much in the past few days that only a few spots like my stomach, neck, and back still had lingering bruises.

"Since I can only cure physical pains, mental pains might be harder to get past. Since you suffered trauma I would recommend talking to someone about what you experienced or a therapist. I have the number of someone who can help." She handed me a card that I gladly took but I wasn't sure if I would even call. I could get through this without help, right?

"Thank you." She smiled and after updating Boss on my condition left to tend to what she had said earlier was a scuffle victim. I readied a salad bowl and some apple slices with peanut butter for lunch as Boss took to sitting at the table, his eyes never leaving my form. Any other time I would have been nervous but I was relaxed as I was getting used to his piercing gaze.

"So you are healed then?" I retrieved the dressings from the fridge and set them on the table along with some bowls and forks.

"Yes sir. No pain and only minor bruises are left." He gladly took his bowl and I went back to the kitchen for the food itself. I returned to find he had moved where I usually sat to next to him at the other end of the table. Any hope in my heart for a connection with him blossomed and I held back an excited smile as I took my seat like it was any normal afternoon.

"I guess you will be heading back to your own home soon too. Since you are healing so well." We used salad tongs to portion out the leaves between he and I and reached for a few of the apple slices.

"I suppose so." I felt a bit lonely at the thought that I'd be here by myself again and that Boss and I would soon no longer share a bed. I enjoyed the feeling of being safe as I slept. I didn't want this little dream that I was in to end.

"What if..." I took a bite, then a second, letting the thought process drop off as I couldn't find any reason for him to stay.

"What if?" Shaking my head I took a bite of apple, the juice pleasant and sweet if not a little tangy.

"Nothing. So are you looking forward to heading back to work?" His eyes rolled and it really said a lot about his feelings about it.

"I probably have a mountain of paper work to get back to. Plus this war is about to come to the city. We have to prepare for backlash from the Brazilian mafia and any known affiliates. They will come and it will be dangerous. Which reminds me..." He handed me a folder, that unreadable look on his face back as he was trying to focus on his food intently. I put down my fork and opened it, curious as to what Boss would give me. Maybe an assignment?

The heading of the first page had my blood running cold.

"Y-You're firing me?" I pushed my bowl away and stood, anger coursing through me at a speed unknown to science.

"Not firing you. You will still have your job at the club for Pam which you will find that your pay will go up as you will no longer be working for the Dorian Conglomerate any longer." He seemed unphased by my outburst and I furiously strode back and forth, taking my plate to the sink then back to read the paperwork once more before back to the kitchen to try and find something for my hands to do other than to ring Boss's neck.

"What about needing me? I bring in more money for you than anyone." He took an apple slice and ate a few bites before continuing with his salad.

"You did. And we will be forever grateful." The papers in my hands meant the ultimate freedom. That I could go back to a normal life away from the group and be free.

But I didn't want to lose all that I had gained. Yes I worked for Boss and did as he asked and had sacrificed a lot to get to where I was but I was good at my job, for both Pam and Boss. I brought in millions every month and was singlehandedly one of the best members of the group. 

"You made me get a crazy tattoo, do as you wanted for two full years, ruined my social life, made me move into a crazy nice apartment and had me train with the J's to become not only a socialite but also a weapon. I did everything you asked of me and more. Why are you doing this," I got closer to him," Why are you pushing me away?" He abruptly stood, his chair falling back to the floor, scaring that cats as they ran off to my room to hide.

"Because I don't want lose you too!" His breathing was ragged and he was slightly shaking as if fear was deep in his bones. My earlier anger turned to tears as I saw a man who had lost his love and didn't want to lose something else he cared for.

I kneeled down by his legs as he sat back down, my head resting on his thigh. He didn't stop me or even move to touch me as he was trying not to show emotion.

"I am strong Alexander. You trained me to survive in this world. Don't throw me out of it now that I've come to call it home. Please don't make me beg to keep what I have come to love. I don't want to leave you to the wolves because of your pride. I won't leave the group. I will protect you." The tears wouldn't stop and I held onto his leg as if he would float away. And it was like he was floating away. So far away that I would not be able to follow him to where he was going.

"I lost her, I will not lose you too. What I have done is final. As of tomorrow, you will no longer work for me and you may remain friends with the J's but they will be instructed not to bring you into this world any longer. Visits are alright but you will go back to being a normal member of society." He rested his hand on my head before standing and taking his plate to the sink where he rinsed it off and went back to the spare room he was staying in. I laid down on the floor and felt whatever hope was in my heart disappear into the abyss of the darkness within.

I was all alone again.

My cats at some point came out to make sure I was okay but I didn't move. Only when their cries of hunger drowned out my sorrow did I finally stand and feed them before I went back to the bedroom, locking it behind me and I continued sobbing into the pillows for the rest of the day. Even at dinner when Boss or I would have said something to one another about food, neither one of us got up to get food, or at least if he did he did so quietly.

Life seemed to be meaningless as if nothing mattered any more. My cats could survive without me. I imagine a better home with a loving family and kids to give them treats and love.

My friends were still upset with me and even though they wanted to apologize, I think they would be better off without having me to mess up their lives since I am.... was part of the mafia. They could have quiet lives; peaceful lives.

I reached for the card that Doctor Gaffigan had given me and as I stared at the name, I wondered if now would be a good time to call. For the span of an hour I kept putting it down, trying to rationalize why I could do it myself before I would pick it back up again, needing someone to talk to.

It was near ten at night when I finally picked up my phone and called the number. It was a few dial tones later that a light feminine voice picked up asking,

"Hello?"