Voice of the Mafia

Chapter 27

The next morning I woke from a nightmare, the darkness and laughter having invaded my dreams. I went out to feed the cats and found that they had already been fed, Boss sitting at the table eating some cereal.

The paper work was still sitting on the table where I had left it and instead of waiting for myself to break down again, I grabbed a banana and went back to the bedroom. As I was about to close the door, Boss said,

"Charlie is coming by to gather my things. I will be going home tonight. You will not see me again." The hole in my heart grew ever deeper as my only response to him was to close my door loudly. I ate in silence and as the time came around for something I knew would help, I grabbed my purse and keys and made sure that the cats had enough food to last the day until I came back.

Since I didn't want them getting out while I wasn't here, I resigned myself to having to see Boss one last time. I knocked on his door and entered, finding him packing his bag and organizing some paper work.

"Yes Miss Black?" I swallowed. This was much harder than I thought it would be.

"Um, when you leave, can you please put the cats in the bathroom while you move your things out? I don't want to chase them through the halls again. And go ahead and lock the door behind you." I tried to think if I was forgetting anything and finding that I wasn't, I was about to close the door to leave.

"Sophie." I paused and glanced back, sensing a small thread of hope holding on to the Dorian group. To Boss.

"Yes?" It was a few heart beats later that he straitened and approached me, my heart pounding in my chest like a wild drum.

"Sophie. Thank you for all that you have sacrificed for me. Thank you for protecting me and building my dream to new heights. I couldn't have gotten this far without you. If you ever need anything, you have my number but please promise me that you will not use it." There were bags under his eyes that I hadn't seen before and he appeared to be as upset as I was. I lifted my phone and nodded.

"Thank you for showing me what I could be. I will never forget your kindness and strength." He gave me a kind smile and took me into his arms in a hug. I responded back almost immediately and felt the threat of tears again. I couldn't do this to my heart.

Not again.

I pulled away but was brought back, Boss's lips meeting my own in a hungry kiss that conveyed every emotion he had within. His heart break at pushing me away. His anger at himself that I got hurt. His desperation to not let it happen again. That I would not be a repeat of his dead wife.

The kiss ended as easily as it had began and he pulled himself away, closing the door between us. And just before it closed he whispered,

"Goodbye Seraphine."

I covered my mouth and ran from my home. I couldn't do it anymore.

The appointment I had made last night was with a Doctor Crystal Parks. She was the top in her field in the whole city in Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and was said to be excellent in helping people to move on.

Just what I needed right now.

I was still in tears when I arrived to her office. It had a warm feeling with paintings of flowers and puppies on the walls and a couch that I could sit on while she could talk with me. I went right in and sat, Doctor Parks coming over to me as I did.

She was a slightly older woman and taller than I would have expected with hair that was a light brown save for a few grey hairs that were littered throughout. Her posture was that of someone who had perhaps been in the military but had spent much time away from it. And with a little bit of weight around similar parts to me, she had the air of a comforting mother.

Exactly what I wanted.

"Miss Black. Is everything alright?" I shook my head and reached for the bottom of the pit in my stomach for help but found none as it went down far beyond where I could reach.

"I've lost everything. My friends blame me for a bad trip but they weren't the ones kidnapped. I never had a family so the only family I could turn to was my work but I was just let go from one of the biggest jobs that I've ever had. I was raped, almost killed, and killed someone who had hurt me and told his men to do it. And where everything seemed okay with the man I loved, he just pushed me away and completely deleted me from his life with a packet. Like he was the one to drag me into this world kicking and screaming and now he is the one telling me that I am no longer a part of it just because he's afraid I'll get hurt again. It should be my decision. It is my life so why can't I be the one to say what goes?" Doctor Parks handed me some tissues and sat by my side as I cried and vented for near on two hours.

Not once did she tell me I was over reacting or that I was the one in the wrong but instead comforted me and started to realize that the patient she had agreed to help was more than messed up.

"Sophia, it seems like this Boss of yours is just trying to protect you. If what you said about his deceased wife is true then it just means that he cares for you enough to get you out of harms way before the real battle begins. He doesn't want you to die." I played with the edges of the pillow on my lap as she had taken her seat across from me a while ago to let me have some space to breathe.

"I'm not his ex-wife though. He trained me to be stronger. I even shot a guy from thirty feet away between the eyes with a pistol. I think I can hold my own just fine." My saying that startled her but she didn't respond with words but instead tried to change the subject away from my blatant murder. Which for the fact I wasn't freaking out about it should have been a bad sign. Maybe because I felt like he deserved it for telling his men to rape me.

One less asshole in the world.

"That pain is still with him though. Which means that if you died because of him too, he would feel like it was because of him. He cares about you enough to hold you in such high respect. By cutting you away from him, he is saving your life." I knew she was right but I didn't want to accept any of it. Accepting it meant that he wasn't mine anymore.

That I wasn't his songbird anymore.

"So what should I do?" Doctor Parks laid out a week plan of trying to help myself overcome this loss in my life and even gave me the option of medication to assist in the deep valleys of life. I declined and mentioned that my kitties would be my medicine.

As I got up to leave, my emotions still a swarm of insanity but at least an organized one, I thanked her and made an appointment for next week for a day I knew I would have off from work.

"Remember Miss Black, the first step to handling this is to face it strait on as you have been. You will be okay and from the sounds of it safe as well. Try meditation for sleeping and if the nightmares persist, let me know and we can find a treatment or medication for you that will help you to sleep better." I gave her a hug and left with the knowledge that I was at least going to be alright. Maybe not tonight but soon. I just needed to fall back into a pattern. A rhythm that would help me to move forward.