Supercorp one-shots

A letter to Lena

Dear Lena

I...I am so sorry that I couldn't save you. I'm so sorry that I've broken my promise. I should have been fast enough, I should have gone faster...But I wasn't fast enough. I failed you my love and I hope that you have forgiven me...Please tell me that you have forgiven me. 

When I saw your lifeless body on the ground, and you laying in your own pool of blood...I felt how my world has been torn apart. As I cradled you in my arms, and touched your pale, cold cheek, that was once a little pink and warm...I hoped this was some kind of illusion and that you would wake up, so that I can see your beautiful green eyes. And I waited...But you never opened your eyes and I could never see your emerald eyes again...

I thought I had lost everything...My parents, my planet, my cousin...But no one told me, I could lose infinitely more...

When I've noticed that you were truly gone...I screamed in pain and agony. I couldn't breathe, because you were my breath. I couldn't fly, because you were my wings. I felt weak, because you were my strength. I felt futile, because you were my purpose. I felt hopeless, because you were the light in my darkness. I felt lifeless, because you were my heart...I felt detached from the world, because you were a part from my soul. You were everything to me, and my everything has been taken away from me...I had nothing left.

I was mad, so mad at the people who has taken my everything away from me. I sought for revenge, I wanted them to feel the same pain I had gone through...But then I remembered that revenge would not bring you back...Nothing can bring you back. 

I just couldn't live...I just couldn't be myself without you. How can I be Supergirl, when I am broken and I feel hollow on the inside? How can I be the sunny Kara Danvers, when you were the cause of my cheerfulness? How can I smile, when your smile was the cause? How can I be myself, when you were the reason? I can't take it, I just can't...Everyday I feel how my heart aches and I feel like dying. Every single day I feel like dying, because I don't have a purpose to live anymore...I don't have anything anymore.

There were so many days I was ready to die...I was ready to join you, to hold you again in my arms and kiss you on the lips, till we run out of air. It's been so long, I've almost forgotten what that felt like...The taste of your lips, the softness of your skin, the emeralds shining in your eyes, the beautiful vocals from your voice...They are all I can think about. I think about you every day, every hour, every minute and every second.

Do you think about me? I would like to think so...

Even though you are no longer in this world, no longer with me...My love for you has never changed, has never wavered...It has never died. When I look at our pictures, I feel reliving those memories, but then I just feel how my heart aches when I remember how painful they are...As the days go by, I just wait till my days are over so I can finally be with you, so that I can be with you for all eternity...

I want you so bad, my love. I want you so, so bad...

I have planned so much for us...I've planned on bringing you to more dates, lunch dates, movie nights or just little road trips around the country. I've planned a little get-away holiday in Midvale, so you can see the place where I grew up. I've planned proposing to you...I would have picked you up from work, with a bouquet of plumerias and flew you to the Foroe Islands...The place where you went once with your mom. And then we would have had a beautiful dinner, with the view of the beautiful ocean, hearing the roar of the waterfalls from afar. Then when the sun stars to set, the sky colored with red, orange, purple and blue, stars getting visible...That's when I get on one knee and ask you to be with me for the rest of my life...And then we would marry and maybe have kids,  and they will be named Lucas, a boy, and a girl named Kiana. We would have probably adopted a dog, named Krypto, so our kids would have a best friend growing up. We would have lived in our dream house, a house filled with life, comfort and love...It would have been outside National City and have the beautiful view of nature...Just everything I have planned with you, a plan to have a life with you.

But sadly, we couldn't have the happy ending we've wanted...You've left me, to go to a better place and...I hope you are happy there. I hope you are finally reunited with your mom and that you feel the love you have always deserved...I hope that you are smiling bright, the smile outshining the stars and having the peace you have always craved for.

We will reunite one day in Rao's light, my love. Just be patient, as I also wait for my day to leave this world...

Your love, Kara Zor-El Danvers