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Thirty Three

January, 1997

It was the beginning of January, and we were only a few days in since New Years. I had gotten out of the hospital a day before Christmas, just in time for Hailie's birthday and I was as happy as could be. If I thought I felt like a shit dad for not being able to buy Christmas or birthday presents, I couldn't imagine how shit I would feel if I wasn't able to make it to Christmas or her birthday at all. 

But, Christmas and New Years had come and gone, and even though it was such a relief to be able to be home for Hailie, I had decided that since I was out of the hospital, I had to tell Kim that I was fired from Gilberts. I waited until two days after Christmas to do it so I wouldn't fuck up our holiday, but it was just as bad as I expected it to be. Since then, Kim had been staying at Dawns with Hailie. I don't know if we were broken up, but she was really really angry with me. She was angry because I took so long to tell her, and she was angry that I was even fired in the first place. But this is the exact reason as to why it took me so long to tell her, I knew she would react this way and I just didn't wanna deal with it. Especially since I had beaten myself up enough for it all on my own, I didn't need her adding to it. 

So, ever since she left, I had been staying at the place that we rented together six months ago all alone. It hasn't bothered me too much though, since I had been really busy between getting back into the studio and job hunting, so I was pretty much always out. Well, for the last few days I had been at least. 

Since I felt like it was Ti that really gave me the idea for this new record, I had been pestering her for the last few days to come with me to the studio. I had mainly just been going with Denaun and DeShaun as I had done with Infinite, but I wanted her there too. I felt like she needed to be there considering she was the one who inspired me to keep going with my music, but she had been hanging out with Sharonda a lot the last few days catching up with her. But she agreed to come today finally, so she came to pick me up with her moms car and then we met up with DeShaun and Denaun down at the studio. 

I was so excited that she agreed to come, because it just felt like things were finally getting back to normal with us. I had felt like things were at least starting to get back to normal since the first night she got here and we were finally able to get everything out on the table which ended up being the most beneficial thing for us I think. It feels like we just understand each other's feelings so much more now, and therefore we can finally work past it, which is all I wanted. I don't care if me and Ti ever get back together at this point, I just care that she's in my life. That's all I want. Do I hope that one day we might be back to a place where we could get back together? Absolutely. But you can't push Ti. She's stubborn that way. She likes to live in her comfort zone, and if you push her too hard, she'll run so fast in the opposite direction you wont even realize she's gone until she's miles away. Not to mention since things are still so up in the air with Kim, I know I need to figure out my own shit as well. 

"Aight so ya'll gon' come to Rufus' at eight then?" Denaun asked me and Ti as we all walked through the front entrance doors of the studio back out towards the parking lot.

Ti nodded. "Yeah. I'm gonna drop Marshall off at home, go have some dinner and get ready then i'll pick him back up and we'll be over." 

"Dope sounds good, we'll see ya'll in a few hours then." Denaun said again as him and DeShaun walked towards Denaun's car and we walked towards Ti's moms car. 

"Peace!" I yelled out to them as I slid into the passenger seat and Ti got in the front seat. 

"Do you mind if we stop at Walgreens quickly before I drop you off? I just need to grab a few things." She asked as the engine turned over and she began to pull out of the parking spot.