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Forty One

April, 1999

My classes had finally finished, and all my exams were officially done as of last week, which meant I was completely finished all of my school. Four years and I was finally fucking done. I couldn't believe it. Four years of absolute craziness, having a baby, getting engaged... about to be getting unengaged, it was insane. I couldn't believe how much my life had really changed from when I first moved here. I was only 24 when I started school, and now next month I'm about to turn 28. I mean, I have a full blown job when I get back to Detroit! And finally a place waiting for me that's just mine. I feel like I have finally grown up and become the woman I was always meant to be, which I felt so excited and positive about, but there was still one last thing I needed to deal with before I could completely spread my wings. Devon. 

My graduation is technically supposed to be next week, but I'm getting the fuck out of here as fast as I can. It's unfortunate that I cant attend the one thing that I've been working so hard towards, but as long as I have that piece of paper, that's all I care about at the end of the day. Luckily, Devon's been 'working' late every day this week, so I've been able to start packing my shit in private. It was just small stuff I started packing and throwing into the trunk of my car, mainly stuff he wouldn't notice was gone, but today he was off working once again. It was just me and Isaiah all day, and I was packing the last of all my stuff. It was the much more noticeable stuff, like mine and Isaiah's clothes, Isaiah's crib, dishes, all of Isaiah's diapers, wipes, bottles, and anything else that I may have forgotten. Honestly, I didn't have that much stuff at Devon's outside of Isaiah's considering when I moved in he already had everything, but still, the shit that was mine I was absolutely taking with me. 

So, all day I had been loading up my car with cardboard boxes, leaving only enough room for me and Isaiah. It was now 4:00 in the afternoon, and I was pretty much done. I hadn't thought about it until now, but Devon might be at work until 10 or later if he's busy fucking whoever he's fucking. I started feeling nervous because I really wanted to get on the road as soon as possible, and I didn't wanna be waiting around for him. 

I do know he does technically work until 5:00 everyday, but after that who knows what he does? So, if I wanted to get out of here as soon as possible with those signed papers in hand, I was gonna have to go down to his work. Not the ideal situation, but hey, at least he cant beat me in front of his coworkers. To be fair, he's never once laid his hands on me, but I really don't know how he'll react to this, especially if we're alone. 

So, I loaded up Isaiah into the back of my car and began my drive towards his office. I was full of so much confidence, and I really had all the faith in the world in myself. This was the right thing, and I was ready. I was done. I'm going back home to actually start my life with no ones help but my own. Honestly, I felt really proud. Twenty four year old Ti would never have been able to do this, but twenty eight year old Ti has had enough of this bullshit. I need to stop putting all my self worth and identity in these men. When they inevitably fuck me over, I'm always left even more broken than before and I've had it. I'm independent, I don't need anybody but Isaiah. 

After half an hour of hyping myself up in the car, I finally arrived at Devon's office. I grabbed the thick stack of papers that were laying perfectly on my passenger seat and grabbed Isaiah from the carseat. I perched him on my hip and marched directly into that damn building. 

I swung the door open and was hit with that awful smell of burnt coffee and ink from the printers. A few people who knew me greeted me, and I smiled back as friendly as I could like I wasn't about to go into that office and blow up Devon's 'perfect' life in front of all of these innocent bystanders. 

Once I finally reached his own personal office, I yanked on the door. To my surprise, it was locked. I hitched an eyebrow up as I continued yanking on it a few times. "Yo one sec! One sec!" I heard Devon's familiar voice yell from the inside. I huffed out an annoyed breath and stood back as I waited. Eventually the door was slowly unlocked and swung open, to reveal Devon standing directly in front of me and a tall blonde woman sitting cross-legged at his desk. "Baby! What are you doin' here?" He flashed me I'm sure his most manipulative looking smile he could muster up.