Searchin'

Twenty Six

September, 1995

It had been almost three months since I moved back home with Kim and it has been fuckin' difficult. My mom and Kim fight I swear every damn day, it's exhausting. And of course I'm always gonna take Kim's side because I mean she's my pregnant girlfriend. Of course I have to take her side when my mom tries to come at her. It usually just creates more problems though, but what the fuck am I supposed to do? 

It has been nice being back home with Nate though. I get to see him every day now and it just makes me so happy being able to spend more time with him. Well, as much as I can. Between battling, working, and now recording my album, I'm away a lot of the time. But I definitely am seeing him way more than I was before. Kim's been relatively supportive of the record, but she thinks I should be working more since her due date is in three months and she says I need to be making as much money as I can right now. I agree, but I also know I really need to do this record and continue battling down at the shop. I try to balance everything as best as I can, but it's really hard and stressful to say the least. 

Speaking of the record though, it had been coming along really nicely. I had fully recorded another two tracks, one was titled Backstabber, and one was titled Searchin'. Searchin' was the one that I had re worked a lot of the bars I had written about Ti and put them into a song. I guess you could say the whole song was essentially about Ti, or at least my verse anyway. I had just wanted the track to be a really emotion filled love song, and the only person who ever made me feel the way that song feels is Ti. So, I tried my best to bring myself back into that place of where me and Ti first started dating, and I just wrote all the other bars off of that feeling. 

I had also gotten a friend of mine that I had met through the shop to hop on it with me. His name is Eye-Kyu and I thought his shit was so incredibly dope. I knew I wanted to have him on more of the record, but it was just a matter of coming up with the right tracks for him. I had a few I thought might be good for him that I was currently just trying to write, but I wanted to wait until I was completely confident in them before I asked him to be on those ones too. 

Today, me and Denaun were just gonna hit up the studio as usual, but we only could afford about two hours so we really had to get in there and work like crazy for those two hours. Kim had left about an hour ago to go and do some baby shopping with Dawn, and my mom and Nate were over at my grandma's for lunch. I was still at home, brushing my teeth and trying to get ready before Denaun came and picked me up so we could head to the studio. 

As I was rinsing out the excess toothpaste with water, I heard the phone start to ring. I quickly wiped my mouth on my towel and walked out towards the living room. I picked the phone up from its hook and put it up to my ear. "Hello?" 

"Hey! It's me!" Ti's happy voice filled my eardrum. 

"No shit! What's up Ti?" I said back sounding just as happy to hear from her. 

"Not much. I just realized we haven't talked in awhile so figured i'd call and check in, see how you're doin'?" 

I smiled. "Yeah yeah, I'm good. I'm actually just about to go down to the studio for a few hours with Denaun." 

"Really?! How's it coming along?! DeShaun's told me it's amazing so far!" I felt my insides start to turn mushy. She's always been so supportive of my music, and honestly she was the one that really pushed me to do this record. She just sounds so excited, and it makes me so happy. 

I laughed. "I think it's super dope thus far at least. I only got like four tracks finished, but I really fuck with 'em." 

"Oh my god that's so exciting, I can't wait to hear it. When do you think you're gonna release it?"