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Twenty

December, 1992

Today was Ronnie's one year anniversary and Marshall was acting really weird. He went to work today, and didn't even acknowledge that it was Ronnie's anniversary. I know he didn't forget since Marshall remembers dates like a damn elephant. He just hadn't talked about it, at all. I asked him how he was doing this morning and he just said he was fine. He said it with a little bit of attitude like he was annoyed I was asking him, but I mean what the hell? Of course I'm gonna ask him. 

He hadn't talked to his family at all today either, at least that I knew of. It was all just very weird. I had to work until seven tonight, and he had to work until eight so I was supposed to go and pick him up on my way back home. I didn't know if I should ask him about it, or if I should just let it be. I figured the best thing to do would be to ask him about it. I mean I'm sure he's hurting, and that hurts me. I always wanna be there for him, and even if he told me to fuck off that would be better than him just ignoring his feelings I think. 

I left the studio a little past 7:15pm, and headed right over to Marshall's work. I arrived a few minutes early so I knew he'd be a bit before he was out. I just turned up my radio and sang along to TLC's song Ain't Proud 2 Beg. They were a brand new group and I had been absolutely loving them ever since Marshall bought me their album from The Hip Hop Shop. I always loved when he did that. There's been a few times where he would find an album that he knew I would like and would buy it for me. He's so sweet sometimes. 

My thoughts and swooning heart was cut off by Marshall pulling on the door handle trying to get in to my car. I reached over and unlocked it and he got in. "Yo." He said coldly. 

"Hey baby. How was your day?" I leaned forward to give him a kiss, and while he kissed me back, it wasn't the same as how he usually kisses me. 

"It was fine. How was yours?" 

"Uhm, it was alright." I said as I reversed out of the parking spot and started our drive home. "Really long though, it felt like the day just kept dragging on and on." 

He nodded. "Yeah, that's shitty." 

"Yeah..." I trailed off and an awkward tension fell upon us. If it wasn't for TLC still playing in the background it would be dead quiet. "Was it busy today?" I asked him to try and break the ice. 

He grunted and slapped the button to turn my music off. "I can't deal with that shit right now." 

"Oh, okay. No worries." I said trying to ignore the anger in his voice. 

"No, it wasn't busy today." He said uninterested as he leaned his elbow against the window, and rested his head in his palm. 

I nodded. "Well that's good then at least." He didn't say anything back. "How are you feeling?" I reached over to his lap and intertwined our fingers. 

"Oh my god Ti is this really what the fuck we're doin'?!" He snapped at me, taking me way off guard. "How are you feeling?'" He said in a high pitched voice trying to mock me. "I'm feeling fuckin' great, thanks for asking." He tore his hand away from mine and leaned his head back against his hand. 

I paused, unsure of how to respond. "I'm sorry..." I said quietly. "You just haven't really acknowledged, y'know, what today is... so I just wanted to check in." 

"You think I ain't fuckin' know what today is?!" He yelled at me. "I gotta fuckin' acknowledge it for you to know I'm feelin' fuckin' shitty?!" 

"Marshall no, I just- if you wanted to talk-"

"If I wanted to talk?! If I wanted to fuckin' talk I would fuckin' talk, Ti!" 

"Okay... I'm sorry." I whispered.