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Eight

May, 1990

"So are we goin' over to Rufus' tonight?" Angie asked me as she unpacked the last of her things into my spare bedroom. We had decided last month that she would move in with me considering I was really struggling to pay all these bills by myself, and she hated her now ex-roommate. It was the perfect set up since we both worked together and had become so close recently. I couldn't have asked for a better situation, really. 

I shrugged. "I don't know. Do you wanna go?" I asked as I sat on her bed that she had yet to put sheets on. 

"We may as well. Sharonda's goin' so why not?" 

"Well she's only goin' 'cause she wants to see DeShaun." I said trying my best to get out of going, knowing Marshall would also be there. I had only seen him twice since March, and every time I did it was so awkward and uncomfortable and honestly it made me really sad. I just wanted to avoid that situation as much as possible. 

"Come onnn Titi." Angie whined. "It'll be fun! Why ya ain't ever wanna go to parties?" 

I shrugged again. "Just haven't really been in the drinkin' mood since Eric left." While that was true, the main reason was because I knew Marshall would be at every party. No one knew that though. Still no one knew about everything that had happened between me and him. Not even that we had kissed before. So, my only option was to lie. 

She sighed and sat down beside me. "I know. But it might be helpful for you to go out and have some fun." She said in a gentle voice.

I groaned and laid down on the bed. "Fine. But if I wanna come home, I'm comin' home." I said seriously. 

She chuckled. "Okay grumpy."

A few hours later we got ready, and started making our way over to Rufus's with Sharonda. I was essentially whining and groaning the whole time, but they both just kept forcing this stupid party on me. We finally arrived and decided to just let ourselves in considering how loud the music was, they definitely would not be able to hear us knocking. 

We walked in, said hi to a few people we knew, but then continued on to the living room rather quickly. As soon as we walked in, I saw Marshall and Denaun free styling together. Marshall was standing with his back turned towards the entrance of the living room so he didn't see me walk in, and Denaun was far too engulfed in his laughter to notice use either. 

"Yo!" DeShaun yelled out, causing both Marshall and Denaun to bring their attention towards us as DeShaun walked over and threw his arms around Sharonda. As soon as Marshall turned around and saw me, his giant smile started melting off his face. I gave him a tight lipped smile and then thankfully DeShaun saved me from the awkward interaction as he came and gave me a quick hug. "I ain't think you was gon' come!" DeShaun said to me with a smile. 

"I wasn't, these two essentially dragged me out of the house." I said jokingly, causing him to laugh. 

"Good. Maybe now with Angie livin' with ya she can get ya anti-social ass out more." He joked back. 

I rolled my eyes. "I get out the perfect amount, thank you very much." 

"Mhm, sure ya do." He said and then immediately turned around to start talking to Denaun and Marshall. 

"I'm gonna go do a lap, see who's all here." I said to Sharonda and Angie and they both nodded. I couldn't handle being in the same room as Marshall right now. I just felt him staring at me the entire time I was talking to DeShaun and it just made me so sad. 

I left the living room and started walking around, talking to random people I knew. I grabbed a beer and continued socializing with literally anyone just as long as I didn't have to look at Marshall. I stayed away for about an hour and a half, and had went through about three beers in that time. I was definitely tipsy, but I was still able to handle myself thankfully. I figured now would be a good time to leave. I had come, drank, talked to people, and now I was ready to go home. I decided I should go and try to find Sharonda and Angie to tell them I was leaving so they wouldn't be looking for me whenever they decided to leave.