In the Attack on Titan world?

Chapter 9 the assault and a plan

All hell broke loose.
Eren too joined back into the fray and I barely watched him, I was too busy fighting with that damn Cart Titan. It had decided to full barrel on us and I was doing my best to get close so they could fire the thunder spears. And all the other anti-Titan weapons we had managed to gain and create.
The Jaw Titan too, it had begun going after Eren, once the cart was down I went to help my brother- who could hold his own that was true, but I saw red.
Blood.
Fire.
Behind us came a flash of light and I knew who had joined our fight.
And then a low humming noise, only I could hear at that point, we had to finish this fast.
Right on time as always.
Eren and I tag teamed the Jaw Titan and I saw Eren look at the claws on its hands, then it's jaw and it clicked with me too. I grabbed the Titan by the head, skin hardened as it swiped at me. I held it aloft as Eren ripped its arms off and Mikasa sliced its legs. It had tried to switch, it too had noticed the humming and had been aiming directly for it.
Not on our watch.
Eren then used the removed limbs to slice the nape. And then in a spray of crimson, a body was released but before Eren could bite, a yellow flash from behind us came, and the two of us turned. As if magnetised.
Reiner.
So you still had the will to live after all. I thought.
I thought back to the young boy that had been with him. Falco. A falcon. It was a shame, really that he had been brainwashed like he had. He was a motivated and pleasant lad.
The humming was getting closer.
Our comrades were all around us, the dark of the uniform allowing them to blend in well to their surroundings. I knew Levi was out there too. I had to find him.
I dropped the Jaw titans body and turned away, I had to find Levi. If he was gone then all hell would be released again upon them, without him I didn't really have a reason for living.

My mind went back to four years ago, all the time while my feet pounded on the ground away from the two interlocked fighters.
Levi had told me he loved me. Told me that he wanted a future.

The day of Multiple funerals
A lone solitary figure stood at the gravesite.
Everyone else had gone, having been there to mourn. This figure stood alone, staring simply at the cold, grey stone. They had fulfilled their duty but now, to visit their old friend.
Why did everyone I care about leave me? They thought. Why?
A hand touched their shoulder as light as a feather kissing a cheek and they turned.
A figure with their hood raised stood before them.
"Hi." The voice beneath that hood was one he had wished to hear, and then the hood lowered, they weren't who he thought. Because of course. They're gaze went back to that stone monument, people didn't raise from the dead.
The woman removed her hand from their shoulder and moved to place something on the stone. A single solitary flower. Purple and small.
"A forget me not." She said. "To remind us of you and how much we will never forget you Erwin Smith." She placed her hand in salute over her chest and bowed her head.
A rush of emotion flushed through them. And seeing her there, when all others had left, gave him a renewed sense of hope.
"Layla?" Their voice hitched from the lack of speaking. The woman turned to him and he could see the tear tracks from her eyes. She mourned too.
"Hmm?" She said, she too was finding it hard to speak.
"Do you think he knew?" They asked.
"I think he wasn't planning on coming back alive after Shiganshina." Layla replied, wiping her tears away.
At least she was honest. It was one of the many things they admired about her. Her strength and her ability to be thoughtful and fearless were but others. She was selfless too.
"Tch." Was all they could reply.
Silence fell between them, a welcome and almost warming silence. They stood heads bowed towards their comrade and friend.
"Do you think." Layla began as the tears streamed down her face. "Do you think that it was worth it?"
"Huh?" They replied. What was she on about and why was she crying again?
"Do you think it was all worth it? The pain and bloodshed?"
"How can I answer that-" They began quite angrily, and then they noticed the look in Layla's eyes. Light had dimmed, her light was dimmer. How? She was, apart from when she first discovered her Titan form, was always the positive one. She always bounced back. What was so different this time?
"I don't know how to answer that." They replied, their arms itching to go around her and hold her close. Just like they had that night when she looked ready to give up on the world.
"I didn't think you did." Came her reply. They wanted to reach for her, but their arms remained by their sides. They had lost too many.
She stared at that grey stone and they wondered what she was thinking.
"I was thinking." She began, and they winced at the tone of her voice. Toneless and lifeless. "That I should let Eren eat me."
They were stunned into silence.
She continued. "I don't really belong her, I've done so much damage."
They couldn't speak, why did she think this?
After everything?
"Aside from our enemies I must be one of the most hated." She added. She acted as though she was talking to herself, but her eyes never left the tombstone.
"I don't." They said softly.
"Ha!" She laughed lifelessly. "You wouldn't say that if you knew."
"Knew what?" They asked but she ignored their question. They shrugged. When she trusted them, that's when she would tell them.
"I'm going to do it," she said her fists clenched in determination. "As soon as I can, Eren can eat me-"
"No!" They shouted and Layla's eyes fixed on them. They were a pair of unseeing eyes. Ones that had seen death. Grey and unforgiving like their own. And then they realised it was their eyes reflected in hers. His eyes.
"And why not?" She asked. "Theres nothing left for me here." He knew what she meant by that. Her brother had changed. Her friends had changed. They weren't the same people anymore. Her brother began to see her and everyone less and less, despite urgings. Her friends were so wound up in grief to even notice her. She was alone, in her eyes.
"There's everything left for you here," he replied. "I'm not going anywhere."
"You? Heichou, there's..." Her words trailed off and she shivered. "There's no point in pretending. I am part of the reason Erwin is dead. You cannot deny that."
He could bare this no longer. He grabbed her arm and pulled her to him. A small gasp of surprise spilled from her lips.
"I don't blame you for that. How could I? You were in shock, and were thinking at least trying to think clearly. You trusted me and that meant more than the screaming and begging and pleading." He hugged her tight. "And that means the world to me."
She let him hold her just for a little while. She knew he needed this more than she did.
"Heichou-"
"Levi." He said. Surprised she pulled away. "You get to call me Levi. Not captain, not sir, not lieutenant. Levi." He shook his head.
Now was the time. His eyes locked on that tombstone. It hadn't changed since the first day. He had realised that he had grown distanced from her and she probably reasoned her was her fault. He cursed himself.
"Layla, I-I-I." He stuttered. "I love you."
Her eyes widened, and her jaw he could see drop.
"Y-Y-You. Love. Me?" She said slowly. That snapped him out of it.
"Duh brat who else would I be talking to?" He gestured towards the tombstone. "Certainly not eyebrows."
And for the first time she laughed.
"I want a future with you." Levi added gathering her into his arms and pulling her chin up.

The memory faded.
If he was gone I wouldn't live. I would climb to Erens mouth and slide down his throat.
That much was already decided. Neither of us could live without the other, we were each other's reasons to live.