Savior || Luke Hemmings Fanfic

Addi

-Addi- 

I woke up around noon and it didn't take long for me to remeber everything from last night. I felt awful. I never wanted to leave the party but after talking to Candy I just couldn't handle it. She was right. I'm just a fat lonely loser. And having to watch all those pretty girls that are so lovely, it was just a bit too much for me. I started looking through my old scrap books that I've made. They're all filled with pictures of models that I've cut out and booked together. My dream job has alway been to become a model. But I'm simply just not good enough to be a model. After looking at all the beautiful models and thinking about last night, it didn't take long for me to start crying.I couldn't stop myself from bursting out into tears. A few moments later my stomach began to growl and that's when I really lost it. I headed for the kitchen and began digging though the fridge. I started pulling out anything that I thought looked good. Cold pizza, strawberry yogurt, blue berries, whatever I could find. I laid everything out on the kitchen counter and started shoving my face. Tears rolled down my face as I continued stuffing crappy food down my throat. I went on like that for a few mintues as my stomach began to hurt. Putting all the food down as fast as I could, I ran to the bathroom. Leaning over the toilet I forcefully stuffed two fingers down my throat. I wanted all that crap food I just ate out. I need it out. Pretty girls don't get away with eating crap like that. They either don't eat at all or purge like what I'm doing right now. Pumping my fingers in and out of my throat my head began to ache. I think I finally got everything out of my system. I flushed the toilet and just sat against the wall. My eyes were pooled with tears that were just pouring down my face. My throat burned and my first two knuckles were red. I pulled my knees to my chest and burried my face. I just sat there and cried on end. I have no idea how long I'd been crying for but I was shaken out of my state by a knock on the door. 

"Addi? You in there? It's me Grace!" Grace shouted from the other side. I tried whiping my tears but that didn't help. I felt Grace's body sink down next to mine. She slid an arm over my shoulder and pulled me into a hug. I sat and cried into her arm. 

"Oh honey. I'm sorry love." She whispered in my ear. This is definately not a new thing for us. I've done this so many times, both Grace and I were used to it. We sat there for a few more minutes when I finally lifted my head up and dried my eyes. 

"You all right babe?" She whispered. I nodded. 

"Alright then how about we get some water and take a walk. Okay?" I nodded again. She helped me up off the floor and we went downstairs. The food I had gotten out was all put away.  I guess Grace had figured out I binged again and cleaned everything up for me. She handed me a tall glass of water. Slowly I drank the water and calmed down a bit. I then set  the now empty glass on the counter and I followed Grace out of the house. But just before we left I grabbed my cigs and lighter. We just walked down the street in silence for a bit. I pulled out a cigarette and lit it up. The smoke filled my whole body soothing my soul. With the warm sunny breeze lingering and inhaling the addicting smoke I just felt better. After the first time Grace saw me purge, she gave me water and a smoke and took me out on a walk. Ever since then it's been my therapy. My coping method. I'd screw up have a binge then a purge then drink some water and go for a walk. We walked to the end of the street and looped around. When we got back to my house, Grace pulled me into a hug and kissed my cheek.

"It's okay babe. You'll be okay. Just play some Killers, and maybe take a nap. I'll see you tomorrow yeah? Or do you wanna ditch?" She asked. 

"I think I'm just gonna ditch. I don't think I can see Luke and Candy just yet." I huffed out. Grace nodded.

"Okay love. I'll cover for you. Get some rest and text me later. Okay." 

"Okay, thanks."

"Anytime dear." She hugged me again and we said our goodbyes. After she left I went straight to my room and crawled into bed.