Severus Snape Phoenix Freed

Chapter 15 - Emotion

Phoenix couldn't wait to see her friends again. She had so much to tell them. She hadn't planned on being back at Hogwarts with them, but she was going to try to use it to her advantage. Most of her friends were older students, with only one that was ten, so they could all be helpful. Even the youngest, Calum, was a tough little guy. Edgar was her right hand man. He was sixteen going on sixty, wise beyond his years. He looked quite ordinary, so most people didn't suspect his depth of character, but she saw it the first time she looked in his eyes. Her heavy of the group was Kace. He was strong as an ox, with a personality to match. Well, her other heavy of the group was Josie. She was tall for her age and strong to boot. She had a sensitive nature though, but she would protect any of them with her life. The other two were the twins, Mayor and Mila. They were seventeen, and they argued like an old married couple, but they were funny too. She hoped they would all make it through, and she hoped they would stay friends, as she valued each of them as if they were the brothers and sisters she never had. They looked up to her too, and she hoped she wouldn't let them down.

She was looking through the books when Severus returned. "Your students will be expecting their dinner soon, Miss Alder," he said as he approached her. "Oh, lord. They are really going to give me a hard time about that," she said with a laugh. "I'm sure they will have the upmost respect for the new member of our staff," Severus said as he leaned in for a kiss. She returned his sweet kiss and said, "I never imagined being back, especially as part of the staff. I know it's really an 'honorary' position, but I plan to take it seriously."  "And I will expect no less. Research may sound dull, but there are things that I require your assistance on, and I also want you to work on increasing your own knowledge. Choose a subject you have a strong interest in, and then expand on it.  If... we make it through these trials, you will want to have a direction for your life to focus on," he said, knowing he had needed the same thing when he was younger. He realized he didn't know about that part of her life. He had the sudden urge to know everything about her. He decided to start to work on that tonight, on their 'date.'  "After you see to your friends, meet me back here and I will escort you to our date. We can talk about all of our plans," he said, feeling optimistic about the future they could share together. He'd never imagined having a partner in his life, and he felt like a book that no one had bothered to read. Only Albus knew most of his story, both good and bad chapters, but he felt like he could finally open up with Phoenix. After Lily, he found himself considering emotions to be weak, and he tried to push them away. Not just hide them, but to deny them their very existence. Only as time had passed, and he had seen more of life, had he finally realized that it took courage to have and share emotions. He had found no one to share them with... his emotions, his passions... until he met Phoenix. He had seen himself in her, and as awkward as it had been for them to learn how to go about it, they had shared what they had previously been unable to. It was bound to be tumultuous, he understood that, but he was unwilling to deny his emotions any longer.  With that thought, he found himself vocalizing what he would normally have kept guarded inside, "I want to learn more about you, Phoenix. I want to know your dreams and your nightmares. Your aspirations and your fears. What drives you to be the person you are."  He saw her look down, and he suddenly realized why it took so much courage to be so open. He could push too far and make her want to leave. She could find him inadequate and reject him. She could see a part of himself that she might find revolting. She finally looked up at him, and it felt like she looked into the depth of him. "Severus, I want to know all of that about you too, more than anything. I have never been good at sharing all of that. I've driven people away with my... coldness... but I'm not cold. I have all of these things in me, I've just never found someone who I could trust to open myself to. I may be young, but I have a full lifetime of all of those things, and if I were to die tomorrow, I would feel honored for you to be the one to truly know me.  I would be even more honored to be the one that you allowed to truly know you," she said, and he felt his heart blossom as if she was a spring shower and ray of sunshine.  He pulled her into a kiss, then held her against him, wishing they could transcend even their physical barriers, feeling perhaps that even that was not an impossibility.