Severus Snape Phoenix Freed

Chapter 25 - Everything

Phoenix just ran. She didn't want to think. What had just happened? She found herself in the library. She loved it there. She found a small reading corner with a chair and fell into it, sobbing. She didn't want to cry. It made her stomach hurt even worse. She missed her mom and her counsel. Her mom would have held her and stroked her hair, and when she stopped crying, she would have given her uncensored advice, whether she liked it or not. What would she have said? Probably that she was right... and wrong, but that neither of those mattered. What mattered was making it past this rocky patch without any permanent scars. She still felt the sting of his words. She could try to imagine that they were said in the heat of the moment, but the coldness of them hurt more than if he had said them in rage. What if he did mean them though? As her own words said in anger had some truth behind them. She had felt a little lonely lately with him being so preoccupied. Why hadn't she felt alone before? Before she met him, she wasn't lonely. Maybe she was asking too much from him. He had a good reason to be preoccupied after all. But if he loved her, he should share with her, right?  Her mind ran a circuit around and around. She had never liked a problem she couldn't find a resolution to, and she didn't know how she could resolve it without talking to him. She would wait. Maybe he did need some time for himself.

Phoenix heard footsteps. She sat quietly, listening. She hoped it wasn't the Carrows. Surely it wasn't Severus. She saw the illumination from a wand come around the corner. She squinted. She couldn't see who was wielding it. It dimmed, and she saw Severus. He dropped his arm, and she heard him exhale a relieved breath. They looked at each other for a minute, searching each other's eyes.  "What do you see in my eyes, Phoenix?" Severus asked. "Sadness, guilt, grief... love... courage," she replied, lowering her head for a moment before she could find her own courage to meet his eyes again. It was all there. Everything she needed. "I'm sorry Severus. I..." she didn't know what to say. Severus stepped forward and lowered to his knees in front of her, taking her hand. "I'm the one who needs to apologize. I'm sorry I haven't been there for you. I said the words yesterday, and I meant them, but I didn't even consider how difficult it has been for you. You are right, I have been selfish. I wish I could see your mind, Phoenix. Tell me what you need from me... what you want from me. I will give it to you," he said. She placed her hand on his face. "Severus. I love you. That's all I need, your love. What do I want? Everything," she said, and smiled at him. He smiled back at her, and her heart warmed. "I want all of you, Severus. But I also realize that you can't always share with me. I'm sorry for not being stronger for you. I will be. Don't ever doubt my love for you. Even when I'm angry with you, I still love you," she said. She felt regret for their argument, but she also felt better for having a real, heartfelt conversation.

Severus had not expressed so much emotion in his life, except maybe when Lily died. This was different. Instead of grieving his loss and all his wrong choices, it was his chance to make things right before it was too late. "There's something else I want," Phoenix said. "Yes?" he answered. "I don't expect you to say yes just because of this. You are welcome to say no," she said. "Yes?" he said slowly, having no idea what she was getting at. "Will you take me to the Christmas party?" she blurted out quickly. "So, was all of this planned? You are better at games than I imagined. Now I am trapped into an affirmative answer," Severus knew he would have said yes anyway, but he would not make it easy on her. "Severus! Shame on you!" she laughed, wrapping her arms around his neck. He laughed as well, and it felt good to his soul.

Author's Note: It's almost Valentines Day, so I had to do a sappy chapter:) Here's to Romance! Reading it or writing it can be a wonderful thing too.