Severus Snape Phoenix Freed

Chapter 30 - Precious

Phoenix couldn't wait to give Severus his Christmas present. She found him at the table, waiting for her to join him for breakfast. She brought him the ornately wrapped gift, and he pulled her down into a good morning kiss before he unwrapped it. She sat, waiting to tell him her story about it. "Wine," he said, looking over the label. There was a picture of a Phoenix on the label, with her name below it. "Your wine?" he asked incredulously. "Yes. I had some help from Professor Slughorn. It seems there is a commonality between Potions Professors and their appreciation for wine. I made my own version of Elf-made wine. I've sampled it, and it is a milder version, but not without its own surprises. Do you like it?" she said hopefully. "Yes. It is wonderful. Shall we have it tonight with dinner?" he asked, looking at her mischievously. "No!" Phoenix exclaimed, then laughed. "I think we should save it for a special occasion." Severus smiled at her knowingly, and she wasn't the least bit embarrassed to admit that she would not be ready anytime soon for any added intoxicant, especially of that nature.

This time with Phoenix seemed precious to Severus. He knew when all of the students returned from the Holiday Break that time would be more scarce. Even today held responsibilities that he must see to. He must get the Sword of Gryffindor to the Forest of the Dean and lead Potter to it. There was so much as stake. He would do all he could to carry out Dumbledore's wishes, even with the knowledge of how it must end. Voldemort must die. Every day that he lived brought more darkness. Severus felt the regret of it all even now, but that would not deter him from his course. How did Phoenix come in to play in the all of this, he wondered. She had become the main character of his life, and he knew that demanded a role. She was his only light though the darkness, his only respite, as he trudged through the darkest times he had seen at Hogwarts. As Headmaster, he felt personally responsible for keeping Voldemort at bay, and until the time came for the boy to die at the Dark lord's hand, he was forced to toe the line. He was a patient man, and he would wait to see what the future held for Phoenix in his life. He hoped it was not yet another part of the epic tragedy that had played out in his life. After losing Lily, and Albus, and soon the boy, each with his own hand playing a part, did he deserve redemption, or even mercy, or would he meet his fate grieving the loss of anyone he ever dared to love? He could not bear the thought of Phoenix becoming one of the grieved. He was growing to love her with a fierceness that would drive out the demons of his past. Was that also selfish of him to want that for himself? How could he possibly risk her just to have the love he had always craved... for someone to know the depth of him and still love him... for his life to have meaning beyond his own sacrifices? Phoenix must have sensed his change of mood. He could not hide it from her. Her mystical power was unheard of, and he wondered at it. She rose from her chair to step behind him, and he felt her cool fingers rub his temples. He felt his face and shoulders relax, and he sighed. Whatever role she would play in his life, he vowed to himself not to be unwilling to let her go if he thought he could save her from becoming another victim of his tragic tale. He would not, however, spare his own heart, and he would love her with all that he was as long as she was by his side. He only hoped that her heart would survive him.

When Severus returned from the Forest of the Dean, he sought Dumbledore's counsel. He needed guidance now more than ever.  "Severus, there will come a time when you must be willing to sacrifice all that you hold dear. However, that does not mean all will be lost. Every living thing dies... it is the price all must pay. Do not let the cost define the worth of the precious moments before payment comes due," Dumbledore's portrait spoke, offering what only seemed like a riddle to Severus.  He took from the words only that glimmer of hope that all might not be lost. It was late, and he knew Phoenix would be asleep. When he slipped into bed with her, trying not to wake her, she moved over to him in her sleep, seeking his warmth. The comfort of her touch worked to soothe his thoughts, and he found peace enough to welcome a much needed sleep.