Severus Snape Phoenix Freed

Chapter 23 - Simmering

Severus had been hearing reports of the disciplinary measures of the Carrows, and that they had been taking things too far. He had been sending students to the library for detention when issues were brought to him by his own house, Slytherin, but the Carrows had been intercepting them before they made it to the library. They had also managed to recruit members of Slytherin as their henchmen. He would talk to Phoenix.  He could start sending them to the Forbidden Forrest for detention. That would possibly satisfy the Carrows and provide a diversion for his other plans.

Phoenix spent another day in the library. She only allowed one or two of her friends come at the same time so that what they were doing wouldn't be so obvious. They had successfully recruited at least a dozen other students, and they were using the Room of Requirements for their training in shifts. She couldn't be there every session, so some days Edgar or Neville Longbottom would lead the group. The students were still being treated brutally by the Carrows, and she wanted to talk to Severus about putting a stop to it. She understood the duality of his position, but she had no such allegiances.  Her only concerns were the students and Severus... but she had not put her quest for vengeance out of her mind, it was in her thoughts every day. Every day Severus seemed more distant. He was never cold to her, but she could see it was all wearing on him. She always tried to be present for him, in mind and body, but lately most nights he didn't even come to bed, and she doubted he even slept.  She heard Severus enter the chambers, and she went to retrieve a bottle of wine. She needed to talk to him, and she hoped his mood wasn't as dour as it had been. 

Severus was always pleased to see Phoenix. She seemed almost unaffected by the darkness that had settled over the school. He respected her resiliency, and he wished he could leave everything at the door as she seemed to be able to do. When she offered him a glass of wine and a smile, he accepted gratefully. "Come, sit with me, and I will give you my undivided attention while you share your thoughts," she said, and he smiled at hearing the similar phrase he had said to her. It seemed like so long ago.  They were coming close to winter break, but he knew things would not be as festive this year. That was the least of his worries though. They moved over to the seating area. It had been a long time even for that. He suddenly realized how much he had been neglecting Phoenix. He had been inside his own mind so much lately, and he hadn't wanted to burden her with his worries, but she hadn't complained once.  Before she sat, he stopped her. "Phoenix, I want to let you know that I am grateful for you. I realize I have been unfair to you. I feel like I have had nothing good in myself to share, and so I have kept the bad to myself," Severus said, as he put his arm around her waist and pulled her to him. "I understand, Severus. Remember me? Magical power?  I can see it in your eyes. I will be here when you're ready," she said, and he felt the tension in his shoulders ease a little. He lowered his head and kissed her. His love for her had not eased, and he wanted to make sure she knew it. "Yes, I would like to talk with you about some things I've had on my mind," he said, moving to sit, but pulling her by the hand to join him. She smiled as she saw his intention, and she curled up on his lap on the chair. "This is nice," she said. "Not as nice as the last time you sat on my lap here, but it will do for now," he replied, stroking her hair and back.

Phoenix was pleasantly surprised at Severus's mood since she had feared he would be as tight-lipped as he had been recently. "So what would you like to talk about? I have some things, but you go first," she said. "The Carrows are becoming more difficult to control. They are dangerous. I think trouble is just simmering, and it won't be long before it boils over. Voldemort has no ear for it. I can only push so far without showing my hand. I can no longer use the library for detention.  The Forbidden Forest is the lesser of the evils, and I think the Carrows may be satisfied with that," Severus said. Phoenix listened, but she wasn't satisfied. She knew so much weighed on him, but she couldn't let this slide. It was her responsibility too, and she let him know, "I realize you can only push so far, but I don't have that limitation. I plan on pushing back a little harder. I just wanted to warn you in case you hear something. But I don't want you to worry about me. I'll be smart about it."  Severus's voice rose, "Not worry about you!?!  How do you expect me not to worry about you?!"  She could see his distress, and she regretted that she had added to his worries. Maybe she shouldn't have said anything. She wasn't going to lie to him though, even if it helped ease his mind. "No, I don't want you to worry about me. I know you have enough.  I just want the students to make it through the year in one piece.  It's bad enough it's like they're in a prison, but I won't allow them to be treated so brutally," she said, not willing to concede that point. "What do you plan?" he asked as if he didn't want to know the answer. "Well my first choice would be to put the Carrows out of their misery, but I realize that would compromise your position," she said, and was surprised by his small smile as he pulled her closer to him.  She stroked his face with her hand. "Can I trust you to use caution, Phoenix? You know how much you mean to me," Severus said, and it was the first time she had seen vulnerability in his face. "Yes, Severus. I would not want to risk my life together with you. There may come a time where I am forced to do so, though, and you know it as well as I. I also know you expect no less from yourself," she said straightforwardly.  "Yes, there may come a time. But that time has not yet arrived. I may also have hard choices to make in the future. I want to tell you now that whatever happens, whatever, my love for you is immovable," Severus said. "As is mine," she replied, hoping they could make it through to the other side where life wouldn't be so hard. She put her arm around him and rubbed his shoulder, feeling the tension in it.

Severus groaned as she moved over a knot in his shoulder. "I have an idea," she said. "Yes?" he answered cautiously, as her first idea had only added to his tension. "Why don't we go to bed, and I will give you a nice back rub. I know you haven't been sleeping much. Maybe it will help," she persuaded. She was right. He hadn't been sleeping. He also looked forward to the physical intimacy they hadn't shared for some time. "That sounds wonderful," he said, and allowed her to lead him to his bedchamber. If he was fortunate, he could address something else that had been simmering, for both of them.