Severus Snape Phoenix Freed

Chapter 20 - Intoxicating

Severus never wanted to be Headmaster. Defense against the dark arts was his aspiration, and he'd achieved it. Now, his position as Headmaster was tainted with the corruption of The Dark lord. Dumbledore had managed balancing his term as Headmaster with the constraints of the Ministry, but this would be even more challenging. Severus would have to walk an impossibly thin line between protecting his students and appeasing the Dark lord. He missed Dumbledore's counsel. His portrait rarely offered any lately, and he decided he would have to manage on his own for the duration. He felt some comfort when he thought of Phoenix. He couldn't involve her in all of the aspects of his position, but she would help to see him through just by being by his side. It was about time for her to return, he thought. He was disappointed to find her gone when he woke up, but he guessed she was seeing to the students. He was serious when he'd said he needed her to help with some things this year. She would have more freedom to move and could accomplish more without being noticed, as he would be. The library would be the perfect place for students to spend 'detention', at least until the Carrows caught on. Yes, he would be hated by 'almost' everyone, but he would not let that deter him.

Headmaster Snape stood before the entire student body and staff. They all looked 'at' him, but he knew they did not look 'to' him. He had asked Professor McGonagall to oversee the sorting hat proceedings. She had been overtly cold to him. That was expected. The way in which he was appointed to Headmaster left a sour taste in the mouths of all of the staff, especially Professor Mcgonagall. No one knew exactly what happened that night on the Astronomy tower... well, almost no one.  There was too much out of his control, as was the appointment of the Carrows as Professors. He would play the role given to him... begrudgingly, knowing the oath he swore to Dumbledore . Dumbledore had said that for Voldemort to be defeated, the boy must die, and the boy was all he had left of his dear Lily. He pushed it all further back in his mind. He could not allow himself to alter from his course. He would have the courage to make his sacrifices, whatever they may be, and he knew they would perhaps tear him apart. "No doubt," he said loudly, hearing silence overcome the grand hall, "You have all looked to this year at Hogwarts with great anticipation... and perhaps great trepidation. I expect nothing less from each of you but to uphold the traditions that Hogwarts has commanded for centuries. The changes that have been presented to us have bestowed upon us an opportunity to determine our own fortitude. Your education at Hogwarts will not be diminished, and whatever adversity you may encounter, you must find the courage to withstand it. But I must caution you, you will no longer be coddled to your own detriment.  Any who stray from the high standards laid before you, will be reckoned with accordingly."  He saw the fear and dread in each of their eyes, and he knew that with the  challenges they each would face, it would serve them well. He left the rest of the formalities to Professor Mcgonagall, and strode from the hall, his black robe billowing behind him. He had intentionally forgone introductions of the new Professors. He did not approve of their appointment, and he would only acknowledge them as required by Voldemort. As for Phoenix, her addition to the staff did not necessarily warrant an introduction. She remained in attendance for the rest of the proceedings, and he dreaded her opinion of him after today, aware that this year would be a true test of their attachment.

Phoenix watched as Severus left the hall. The rest of the proceedings passed her by in a blur as she thought about his words that hung over the hall like noxious fumes, threatening to smother the traditionally joyous occasion. She took one constructive piece from the otherwise dour speech, and that was that they must find courage. She had told her friends practically the same things that Severus had said, but she felt the darkness behind his words where she had hoped to offer light. She knew of his ambiguous allegiance to Voldemort, but she would not doubt his unequivocal commitment to the protection of the students of Hogwarts.

When Phoenix returned to his chambers, Severus saw the solemn look on her face. Only fitting, he thought, as it matched his own mood. She entered silently, walking past the desk where he was sitting. He had been sitting there since he'd returned, brooding over the circumstances that had brought him to this point. He did not feel self pity, as he had done more in his life to deserve whatever fate he would face.  Suddenly he was brought from his thoughts as Dumbledore's portrait spoke, "Severus... Although our past is inescapable, our choices are not decided by our fate, and death mustn't always be grievous."  "And yet I am left without choices!  My fate, and the fate of those I care about, has already been decided. I grieve even your death, although I know you wished me not to, and the hand that I played in your ending. I did not swear an oath to you, Albus, just to find myself as a reaper of death.  It seems my fate has not changed its course, and has only changed the name of the role I play in this macabre theatre," Severus lamented. "Severus," Dumbledore said gently, "I am aware life for you has not always been equitable, as life truly rarely is, but you may find that your sacrifices will not be in vain. Perhaps the best part of you, my dear Severus, is yet to be seen."  Severus leaned his head back in his chair, feeling Dumbledores words like salve on a wound that would not heal. He wrapped his robe more tightly around him, wishing for the strength to be as bold and steadfast in his course as Dumbledore had been.

Severus felt a soft touch on his face and opened his eyes. Phoenix had changed from her more formal attire into a night robe and was gently stroking his face with her fingers. It felt more than pleasant on his skin, it soothed his spirit in a way that Dumbledore's words could not. His expression softened, and even some of the deep worry lines in his face seemed to smooth. "I found something for you," she said, and even her simple words helped to ease his mood. He sat forward, not trusting himself to speak yet. "From what I can tell by the writings, it is a bottle of Elf-made wine. I've heard it's quite rare. I found it the other day behind some books over there.  Dumbledore must have placed it there to keep for a special occasion. He was always such a thoughtful man," she said reverently. "Yes, he is," Severus agreed, finding a humbled smile reach his lips.

Phoenix could feel the troubled mood of Severus when she'd entered, and she could not let it stand. He carried a burden that would have weighed most others down in its enormity. She knew he would bear it alone, and she could only hope to lessen his pain from it. She retrieved two glasses for them, and he poured them each a generous glass. "There are properties of Elf-made wine that make it so sought after. It is known for its depth of flavor and color, but only those fortunate few who have imbibed truly know the uniquely intoxicating effects. As a potions master, I have always had an appreciation for the artistry and science of wine, as there are subtleties in each that take a practiced hand. As if a potion in itself, it has a tantalizing effect that not only heightens the senses, but also allows them to maintain that level of intensity, longer and sweeter than imaginable," Severus explained, his voice dropping lower, as he handed her a glass. She could hear the challenge in his voice, and it was as seductive as his lips that opened to press against the rim of his wine glass, allowing the deep red liquid to pass through them.  He closed his eyes, as if savoring the flavor for all it offered. He opened them to look at her, encouraging her to share the experience. She closed her eyes and drank, and was met by more than just the deep flavor of the wine, but also the sensation of a heat that did not burn. The warmth spread from her mouth into her body, and she leaned her head back, her lips parting, as if just having her breath taken away by her lover's kiss.