let me live. a tommyinnit angst.

one.

//TW//implied abuse mention//dissociation

~~~Tommy POV~~~

Dudadum, dudadum.

I awoke slightly startled by the sudden ringing. I knew it wasn't an alarm, it's Saturday. I glanced at my clock, which read 9:45am. I rolled over to my phone and realized it was a call from Wilbur. That's odd. He usually calls on discord. I answered it after a few more seconds of ringing.

"Hey Will what's up? Why are you calling my number?"

I noticed how nasally my voice sounded from last nights 'events'. Although I mentally prayed he didn't realize.

"Hi Tommy!" Wilbur said excitedly through the phone, completely disregarding my second question.

It's a little weird hearing him this excited.

"Dream wants us all on discord he wants to talk to us about something. I don't know what it is yet but he seemed really eager to get us all on, so I called to get your attention as fast as I could."

Well there's my answer.

"Oh, alright! I'll get on give me a minute."

"Are you alright Tommy? You don't sound like yourself"

"I'm fine." I lied. "Probably just a cold"

"Okay! Talk to you in a minute"

I hung up the call and sighed. I didn't wanna keep lying to my friends but I don't really have a choice. Them worrying about me is the last thing any of us need.

~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey guys!!!" I said loudly, as per usual.

"Tommy!" I heard tubbo say once I got on the call. I look at the list of people.

Tubbo_
Eret
Fundy
Dream
Wilbur
Georgenotfound
Sapnap
Technoblade

I was a bit shocked by seeing Techno on the call, you know, considering the fact that he's fairly antisocial.

I received a few more hello's and other greetings before Dream began to speak.

"Hi everyone!" He said unusually loudly. "So as you know I just recently hit 15 million subscribers on youtube." Plenty of cheers from the group followed his statement.

"Thank you, thank you." he said with a slight laugh. "Well I wanted to celebrate in the best way I could think of."

"Spit it out!" I heard George yell.

"Haha okay, okay! Here goes nothing. I want to fly you all out to Florida and stay for 2 weeks in a huge house I rented out!"

"POG!" I yelled as loud as I could. Everyone was freaking out, yelling things like "yay!" and "that's amazing!" We all laughed at each other's reactions.

"Haha I know! Exciting right? Anyways Tubbo and Tommy I already talked to your parents, they're cool with it but I'm pretty sure that you're parents still want to talk to you Tommy."

Hearing those words made me flinch a little and I zoned out.

They're mad at you Tommy. They're gonna yell at you. They're gonna hurt you.

"Tommy?" I heard a voice say, snapping me back into reality. It was Wilbur talking.

"Hm yeah sorry what?" I felt so stupid.

Now they're gonna worry. You can't let them know. Think you idiot. Think.

"Tommy are you feeling alright? You seem kind of out of it, everything okay?" It was Techno this time, kind of strange coming from him.

"Yeah haha sorry just zoned out a bit."

They don't believe you. You're an idiot. You know you are.

"Whatever you say." Techno said.

"Okay well anyways what does everyone think? Can you all do it? I'll obviously pay for everyone's plane tickets once we find out when everyone can go."

Eret spoke up. "I've got nothing to do the next couple weeks so whenever is fine with me." A few people nodded in agreement.

"Tommy are you sure you're okay? Not to be rude or anything, but you're weirdly quiet, and you sound stuffed up." It was Techno again.

"Guys stop I'm fine. Seriously."

~~~Technoblade POV~~~

I knew he wasn't fine. No one zones out at the thought of there own parents if something's not going on. I'm usually not this concerned about him, he's always happy and cheery and can put a smile on anyone's face. I know he's not okay but somethings telling me to not worry, but something else's telling me to ask him about it later.

I could see Wilbur's slightly worried expression when I asked Tommy the second time, so apparently I'm not the only one thinking about it. I figured I should just leave him be, but I can't say the same about Wilbur.

~~~Wilbur POV~~~

Somethings definitely up. First off, he sounds like he was crying, and his eyes were puffed up on his face cam. I mean yeah he could be just sick as he said before but I don't think so. Second off he's been zoning out a bunch more than a regular person should. He wasn't like this before, something happened. Something happened for sure. I mean it was so abrupt, a couple weeks back he was fine and then the next day he seemed so just out of it. I don't really know how else to explain it.

Even though I have a bad habit of overthinking, this is definitely something that should be overthought.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Word count - 929

Hey y'all! I don't have too much to say about this first chapter but I hope y'all like it so far! There will definitely be more angst coming up in future chapters, but I'm trying not to rush the storyline. I'll try my best to update at least 4-5 times a week, but I am pretty stressed about school and everything so I'm sorry if it takes me forever to update.