let me live. a tommyinnit angst.

seventeen.

thank you guys so much for 35k reads i can't even begin to explain how much i love every single one of u<3 i promise i'll try to do more fluff soon but here's some more intense angst for you (this chapter is also slightly inspired by @heythere8335 so go read their book it's amazing!)

//TW//sh mentions//blood//panic attacks//crying//prescribed meds//swearing//

~~~Karl POV~~~

I took the small bottle from Wil's hands before giving him a small, shaky 'thank you,' and was on my way to Tommy's room. I signaled for Eret and Dream to go back in before continuing. I managed to take a deep breath whilst walking down the quiet hallway, but the pit in my stomach grew with every step I took.

Just as I was about to knock on the plain door, something in my head told me to stop, and for some reason I couldn't get my body to move even in the slightest of ways. But why? Why was I scared of just simply talking to a 16 year old? I mean yeah it was a sensitive topic, but why did it scare me so much? I felt my breath become uneven as my knees began to grow weak. Tears pricked at my eyes for what felt like the millionth time today, and I just couldn't bring myself to walk in there and talk to him.

Not being able to stand for much longer, I slid down the wall, becoming even more panicked at the fact that anyone could just take one step out of their room and see me like this. Why can't I just talk to him? What's stopping me? He needs me right now and I can't even be there for him. I was too lost in thought to even realize that someone had wrapped their arms around me in attempts to calm me down.

~~~Dream POV~~~

The loud silence in the room after Karl left was almost unbearable, I could tell that every single one of us wanted to say something, anything, just to get out of this awkward moment of nothingness. "Uh, I'm gonna get a glass of water, do you guys want anything?" I asked. I wasn't really too thirsty, but I was willing to do anything just to break the rising tension in the room.

"I'm fine." Eret said quietly, and Wilbur just shook his head. "Okay, I'll be back."

I stepped out of the room, softly closing the door behind me. I averted my attention to the sound of soft crying from the far end of the hallway, that for some reason was left unheard beforehand. I gently walked towards the curled up figure, being sure not to startle them. "Karl?" I whispered. No response. He was shaking, that I could tell. "Karl, buddy, can you hear me?" I asked a bit louder. Still nothing. Shit, I thought before quickly kneeling on the carpet, wrapping my arms around him.

"Karl, hey, you're okay. It's okay. Listen to my breathing." I didn't know if he could hear me or not, but I did my best to calm him down anyway. I could hear his breaths kind of start to become a bit more steady, it wasn't exactly by a lot, but progress is progress. "Karl, can you hear me yet?" I smiled a bit as he gave a small nod. "Okay, can you tell me five things you can see?" He shook his head no. "Okay not yet, just copy my breathing."

I could feel his breaths slowly becoming steady, and I still hadn't let go of his shaking body. "Do you think you can try now?" I gently asked.

"T-the door, uh, Th-the carpet, you, m-my shoes, a-and the ceiling."

"Hey that was good, now four things you can feel."

"Y-your arms, my back again t-the wall, my clothes, a-and the floor."

"What about 3 things you can hear?" At that point he had almost stopped shaking entirely, but he was still crying.

"Uh, you, me, and the air conditioning."

"Good, two things you can smell."

"You, the candle."

"And one thing you can taste?"