let me live. a tommyinnit angst.

nine.

how is this already at 2k reads im gonna cry- (btw i'm adding karl into this if that's okay with everyone)

//TW//throwing up//ED//swearing

~~~Tommy POV~~~

We walked deeper into the airport and spotted George, Karl, and a dirty blonde male, assuming to be Dream. "Hey guys!" the so called "Dream" said. "Hey Dream! Hey Karl, George." Wilbur said waving. I waved at them, and Karl pulled me into a hug. I jumped a bit, which made him quickly release. "Oh sor-" He began, but as soon as I could I pulled him back into the hug, tighter than before. I could feel Wilbur's gaze piercing the back of my head, but chose to ignore it. We stood like that for a few seconds before pulling apart, Dream ruffling my hair. "Let's get going then shall we?" Tubbo exclaimed. "Alright!" Karl yelled.

We climbed into the car after a little bit of a walk to the parking lot. Dream driving, George in the passenger seat, Karl and Wilbur in the middle seats, with me and Tubbo in the way back. "DREAM PLAY HAMILTON OR SO HELP ME GOD I WILL NOT HESITATE TO-," Wilbur yelled, but George quickly cut him off. "Don't finish that." He said firmly, but with a slight joking sense in his voice. Tubbo and Wilbur laughed while Dream changed the station. Tubbo started literally obliterating my ears with his scream-sing hybrid. He lightly punched me in the arm to get me to sing along with him and Wil, but I could see the confused and worried look pasted across his face as I jumped back with a little yelp. "Tommy are you okay? Did I hit you too hard? I mean I barely punched you but are you o-," I cut him off before he could say any more. "Tubs I'm fine okay? You didn't hurt me it just startled me." I put on a smile to confirm I was alright, but I felt Karl intently watching us with a saddened expression. "Okay, as long as you're alright." He smiled again and continued singing, but this time I joined them, as I didn't want to worry them.

The car ride was pretty fun if I'm being honest, until the one topic I was dreading most came up. "I'm assuming your flight was pretty long, what do you wanna get to eat? We have to pick up food for the others anyway," Dream announced. Tubbo spoke up, "Can we get mcdonald's?" A few chuckled at his excitement, including myself. "Why not." Dream said, still laughing.

We went through the drive through, Dream reading everyone's orders off of his phone. He finished the phone orders and asked us what we all want. "A HAPPY MEAL!" Tubbo yelled, accidentally loud enough for the person on the intercom to hear him. The person laughed along with the rest of us and counted the order. I zoned out a bit at the thought of food until I heard a voice. "What do you want Tommy?" It was Tubbo. "I-Uh" I stuttered out. "He'll have a cheeseburger." Will blurted out, looking at me encouragingly. I got a few weird glances from everyone in the car, but no one questioned it, even George, looking through the rear view mirror.

We got our food, and decided to wait and eat until we got home. Perfect, I thought to myself. The rest of the drive was pretty quiet, besides the whooshing of cars passing on the highway. I stared out the window, admiring the new scenery. I couldn't help but notice how much brighter it was here. More colorful, if that makes sense. I felt a slight tap on my shoulder, dragging me out of my thoughts. "Tommy! We're here!" Tubbo yelled. I instantly sat up straight, and looked at the house with what looked like puppy eyes. "Excited Tommy?" George said sarcastically. I rolled my eyes and Dream laughed. "Well, what are we waiting for!" Karl yelled. We all scrambled out of the car, and Tubbo ran up to the front door. "It's open!" Dream called to him. I caught up and opened the door. "Tommy! Tubbo!" Eret yelled. How in the name of god is his voice even deeper in person. "Hey guys! We have food!" Dream yelled from the doorway. Tubbo ran up to Fundy and hugged him, and I gave a little wave.

We sat down at the large table to eat. I kind of picked at my food, trying to make conversation and distract them from the fact that I haven't eaten anything yet. I was sat between Tubbo and Karl, across from Wilbur and Eret. The others were filled in the rest of the seats around the table. I felt Karl try to casually lean over, until his face was close enough to the side of mine to what seems like tell me something. "Hey obviously I don't know anything about what you're going through, or if you even are going through something, but I know it can be hard sometimes, so please take a few bites, okay Toms?" He whispered to me. I felt myself get a bit teary eyed, but I couldn't cry. Not now. He looked at me with a warm smile, and I knew I couldn't let him down, not when he was actually trying to get me to simply eat something. I took a bite and looked up at him, almost asking for approval. He glanced at me and motioned to the burger again, signaling to eat a bit more. I took a bite. Then another. Then more, until I finished the food in front of me. He looked at me, his eyes gleaming. "I'm proud of you Tommy." He whispered. Proud. Proud. I don't remember the last time someone's said that to me. I looked up at him with a smile, one that immediately faded when I realized what I just did. "Where's the bathroom?" I asked. "Uhhh down the hall, third door on the left." Dream answered. I muttered a quick "thanks" before standing up. I could see Karl's hurt expression out of the corner of my eye as I was walking, and I couldn't help but feel guilty for more than one reason. I made it to the bathroom just in time as I threw up with ease. I've learned how to be quiet about it, considering I've had a good amount of practice. I rolled up my sleeves, and I couldn't help but wonder, what if I just-, no. Stop. Not now.
You'll feel better Tommy. No more guilt.
I can't, maybe later, not now though. I've already said that. I clean myself up and head back to the table, with Karl still looking hurt, Dream looking concerned, and Wilbur looking suspicious. Karl leaned over again, but I just leaned the other way, avoiding what he had to say. I didn't want to feel any worse than I already did.

~~~time skip~~~

"Alright, now that everyone's done, I think it's time we choose rooms." Sapnap exclaimed. "Good idea! Before we do that I wanna show Tommy and Tubbo the rooms that lead to each other with the shared bathroom, I figured they'd want that." He said with a laugh. I rolled my eyes. "Why would I want to do that?" I said jokingly. "Oh fuck off." Tubbo said laughing. This caused everyone to give a slight laugh before Dream lead us to the rooms. I walked into one of them, Tubbo into the other. There was a bed, a desk, a rug, and some storage places, but other than that it was pretty empty. "I figured everyone would want to decorate their own rooms so I left them pretty bare." "It's great Dream, thank you," I began. "For all of this. It really means a lot." I could tell a couple people were taken aback by how kind I sounded, including Dream himself. Oh right, most of them have only really seen the way I act online, considering we mostly just play games together. "O-of course Tommy, I'm glad you're all here." He said, still slightly shocked. I smiled and walked in, threw myself onto the bed, and fell asleep before I even managed to pull the covers over myself.

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word count - 1383

WOOOO LONG CHAPTER POG!! i'm sorry this took a little bit for me to get out but here it is! dude thank you all so much for the insane support this story has been getting. you guys mean the world to me!<3 (btw these aren't proof read lmao)