let me live. a tommyinnit angst.

thirteen.

HEY YALL FIRST OFF IM SO SORRY I ACCIDENTALLY PUBLISHED THIS IN THE MIDDLE OF WRITING IT LIKE AN IDIOT LMAO, SECOND OFF TOMMYS ALIVE? WHAT?/rp anyways here's a super super sad chapter to fulfill your angst needs.

//TW//abuse mention//panic attack//slight swearing//shit ton of crying//

~~~Karl POV~~~

I gently slipped into the room, almost completely unaware of what the hell is going on. He flinched as I slowly but firmly wrapped my arms around the shaking boy. God why does he flinch so much? "T-tommy?" I said unsurely, quickly realizing I needed to be stronger for him. "Tommy," I started, a bit more collected. "Listen to me okay? Can you do that for me?." I said, my voice softer than ever. I received a nod from the younger boy. "You're okay. You're safe. I've got you, and I won't let you go until you want me too." At that, his sobs became less choked, but he didn't stop shaking. "I've got you." I repeated. (REMEMBER THAT THIS IS ALL PLATONIC TOMMY IS LITERALLY 16 YEARS OLD) "Can you breathe with me? In for 4, out for 5. Can you try?" I asked, trying not to show the sheer panic in my voice. He slightly nodded once more and I began counting. "...one...two...three...four..." I could tell it wasn't the easiest for him, but I continued anyway. "...one...two...three...four...five..." His breaths were shaky, but slightly better. I didn't stop the counting sequence until his sobs became soft hiccuped cries, and he stopped shaking as violently. I held the boy in my arms, and despite his height, he seemed small. Weak. Fragile.

"Tommy..." I said, my voice slightly wavering. He looked up at me with hurt eyes, and my heart basically broke as I saw the bruise on his face uncovered once again, but this time much more visible, and there was more than one. I hesitated, but asked the question I think everyone is wondering. "What happened?" My voice was barely above even a whisper, but I could tell he understood as his cries became more prominent once again. "Tommy please breathe. It's okay, I won't judge you." I still held him tight, too afraid to let go. "K-karl..." He managed, still hiccuping. I rubbed his back encouraging him to keep going. "M-my m-mom..." "What about her?" I asked, the same softness still lingering in my voice. "She l-left." He broke out into another fit of heart-wrenching sobs. I stared at him, too shocked to say anything. What the hell is that supposed to mean? I was pulled out of my trance as I heard him sob out once again. "I'm sorry." He managed to say through his cries. "Tommy! You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for. Please don't say that." My voice was firm, which in all honesty, I think scared him. I silently cursed to myself as I began talking gently once more. "What do you mean?" "I g-got a v-voicemail-" He interrupted himself with another sob. "She- she just t-told m-me that she l-left a-and isn't coming b-back!" The 'back' came out as a loud cry, full of pain. I didn't know what to say, or even how to approach the situation, so I just hugged him tighter, making sure he knows how loved he is, despite what the hell his mom just did to him. "Tommy...Oh my god...I'm so sorry..." I said, allowing tears to slip down my own cheeks. I slightly rocked the shaking boy in my arms until he seemed okay enough to talk again. "D-do you know why she left?" I asked after a few minutes of him just slightly quivering and sniffling. "My dad." He said blankly, staring at nothing, the bruises on his face more visible than ever. Wait. Wait wait wait. I sat there, the gears clicking in my head, wishing anything other than what was going through my mind, although it made too much sense for it to be anything else. I softly brushed my hand over the bruise as he slightly winced, so I pulled away, beyond scared to hurt him any more than he already was. "Tommy?" I asked, whispering again. He hummed in response. "Who did this to you?" I asked almost silently, as if I didn't know the answer already. We sat like that, in silence, for a good 3 minutes before he finally answered. "My father Karl, it was my father."

I could almost physically feel my heart shatter into a million pieces. I held him even closer, as we both began to softly cry once again, although he became gradually louder as the time passed. After just sitting there, crying for what felt like an eternity, I decided I needed to say something, anything, just to comfort the obviously broken boy. "T-tommy," I managed to get out through my sniffles. "God Tommy I'm so sorry. I don't even know what to say. Just know I'm never, ever, letting you go back there. Do you understand me?" I asked, my voice wavering with every word, but you could easily hear the determination behind it. With that he sprang up, obviously panicked. I stood up after him, a look of confusion on my face. "K-Karl n-no it's not a big deal- I-I mean he's my family! I-I have to go b-back eventually." With every word he said I could just feel myself fill with more and more pain, but I couldn't break in front of him, there is no way I could put him through any more than he's already been through. "Is it okay if I have some time to myself? I need to, uh, think." He said, with obvious uncertainty in his voice. I looked at him sorrowfully, but knew that I needed to respect his boundaries. "O-okay Tommy, just make sure to get some rest tonight, okay?" I asked the no-longer crying blonde in front of me. "Ok," he replied, no emotion present in his voice whatsoever. I gave him one last glance before quietly exiting the plain room.

I let the tears flow freely as I closed the door, and was met with a concerned Wilbur pacing in the hallway. I launched myself into his arms as his look of concern turned into complete utter sadness. We slowly walked to his room before I just completely broke down, us slowly sliding to the floor, still hugging. (say it with me kids. THEY'RE. FRIENDS.)

"What the hell happened?!" He asked after a few minutes with his voice raspy, as if he were crying himself. "I- Wil-" I couldn't form the sentences due to the sobs that were causing me to choke on my own words. "It's okay Karl. Take your time." He said calmly, probably in attempts for me to match his energy. I took a few deep breaths before trying to explain what happened once more. "H-he just s-sat there. H-he was shaking Wil. And crying to the point where he c-couldn't breathe." I tried so hard to compress my tears, but it wasn't working. He nodded, signaling for me to continue. "A-as he cried I could s-see a bruise on his face, washing of what looked like m-makeup." I took a few more breaths, preparing myself for the most difficult bit of the story. "He told me that his mom left him, and that his d-dad g-gave him the b-bruise..." I began to full on sob, with Wilbur making soft attempts to get me to calm down. My sobs slowly turned to soft cries, and I let out a barely audible whisper, but just loud enough for the taller man to hear me. "He's just a kid. God Wil... he's just a kid." At that I could feel Wilbur's tears begin to drip on my shoulder. "I know Karl... I know."

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word count - 1348