let me live. a tommyinnit angst.

sixteen.

hey guys before i start, i just wanna say from here on out my name is bee! you can call me author as well but yes bee is my name<3

//TW//self harm mention//scars//dissociation//swearing//medication//anxiety//

~~~No one's POV~~~

After a long day in the cold water and hot sand, the 10 boys finally arrived home, walking off to wherever they may please within the house. The awkward and sympathetic atmosphere still lingered from the whole, well, "drowning" incident. Although he hadn't expressed it, Wilbur was beyond worried at how light the blonde was in his arms, and don't even get me started on Eret.

The entire ride home she had been picking at his nails, biting their lip, bouncing his legs, all at the thought of Tommy doing that to himself. I mean of course they knew the marks all too well, having gone through something similar around Tommy's age herself.

He didn't know wether he should straight up bring it up to Tommy on their own, or to bring it up with someone else, considering the fact that he'd never been all that close with the boy. But you know who was? Karl for sure, they had all heard Tommy crying to him the other night, but hadn't gotten many details. However they did see Wilbur pacing in the hallway with what appeared to be a pill bottle in his hand. He looked like he had been contemplating going into the room, as he was walking close, then away from the door numerous times. Everyone in the house had gotten the memo that they should probably just leave it alone, and dispersed among the many rooms lining the halls.

Who else was close enough to Tommy? Tubbo? No. He couldn't hurt Tubbo like that. Tommy's best friend finding out he hurts himself like that? Absolutely no one in this fucked up world would have the heart to tell him that. Okay well, uh, Wilbur? Yeah Wilbur would be good to talk to, he's like an older brother to Tommy. As much as she didn't want to admit it, Eret was jealous of Wilbur in a way. Him and Tommy had such a good dynamic... Why couldn't they be like that? Maybe if he were closer with the boy, he could've prevented some of this stuff? The tall brit slapped herself. Thinking like that wouldn't help anything. Only hurt.

He kept thinking about who else to talk to, and the decision of Dream came easily to his head. Why you may ask? For starters Dream planned all of this, and for some odd reason he seems like he'd know how to deal with it. Second off Dream genuinely cared for Tommy. Anyone could see that, unless you obtained the same level of obliviousness that Georgenotfound inevitably had. Okay, jokes aside, Dream really did care for the boy, more than you'd know.

~~~Eret POV~~~

I walked over to Karl's room first, considering the fact that it was the closest to my own. I softly knocked before hearing a small "Come in!" From the other side. Apparently I looked more distressed than I intended on, because as soon as I opened the door he stiffened in his chair, giving me a concerned yet saddened look. "What's wrong? Everything okay?" He asked, his tone matching his expression. I didn't really know how to answer the simple yet utterly complex question, as my mind was still racing faster than my mouth. "Uh ye- or- no. Not exactly."

He stood up, making a small motion for me to sit on the bed with him as he plopped himself down. "You can talk to me, I'm always here to listen." He said with a sad smile. "It's just-," I deeply sighed, becoming frustrated with the fact that I couldn't get my thoughts out. He didn't push me to talk, but instead just gave a small look of encouragement. "It's about Tommy. But before I say anything I want Wilbur and Dream to hear this as well." His eyes quickly shifted from a look of sadness to a slight look of... fear? I could barely hear him mumble what sounded like 'not again,' but I wasn't entirely sure. "O-okay. You know what I'll get the others, you wait here and collect your thoughts okay?" He asked, almost sounding unsure of himself. "Okay."

~~~~~~

Karl returned a few moments later with Wilbur and Dream at his sides, and I had to hold back laughter at the sight of the two being much, much taller than him. But that moment of happiness quickly faded as I remembered why they were in here in the first place. "What happened? Is he okay?" Dream asked, worry lacing his voice as clear as day. "No way in hell is he okay..." I said, practically whispering. The taller men didn't hear me, but I knew Karl must've when he turned his head to look at me with widened eyes.

Before I started talking, we all took various seats around the room. Karl and I sitting on the bed, Wilbur in Karl's desk chair, and Dream was leaning against the now closed door. "Take your time..." Wilbur muttered as I took a deep breath. "You're all aware that Tommy was wearing a swim shirt today right?" I started slowly.

"Yeah, he said he burns easily or some shit." Dream commented from his awkward standing position against the door. "Well I don't think that's the case." Dream's eyes went soft, then sad, as if he knew exactly what information was about to hit the group next. "Well- uh- i," I had to stop for a minute to make sure my already uneasy breathing didn't get any more out of control. Karl gave me another one of his looks of encouragement, which honestly helped a ton. I took one more deep breath before allowing the difficult words to escape my lips.

"I-I'm about 99% sure I could've sworn I saw a few, like cuts of some sort when his sleeve rolled when Karl pulled him out of the water." Wilbur cringed, probably still feeling bad about what happened. Dream looked heartbroken. He just stared at practically nothing while the rest of them conversed. "I thought I saw something but I wasn't close enough to tell..." Wilbur trailed off. "Karl?" I asked quietly, he hadn't said anything yet. I turned my head to look at him after he hadn't responded, and he had silent tears streaming down his face. "Karl?" I asked again, slightly louder. "Oh. Uh. Yeah?" He said, quickly wiping his tears. "He's going to be okay Karl. It'll all be okay in the end." Wilbur said with determination in his voice. "He's just gone through so much... At 16? It's not fair." Karl half-whispered with more tears coming back. I leaned over and pulled him into a soft hug. "He's a strong, badass kid alright? I know he'll be okay."

I continued gently hugging Karl as he quietly cried into my shoulder. I heard Wilbur stand up and slowly walked towards where Dream was standing. "Dream?" He questioned at a normal talking volume now. No response. "Dream?" He asked again, slightly louder. Still no response. Wilbur slowly waved a hand in front of his face in an attempt to get him out of the trance-like state he was in. Wil finally placed a hand on Dream's shoulder, and he immediately jumped, finally being released from his own mind. Wilbur encased him in a tight hug as a few tears fell from Dream's eyes. I let go of Karl and stood up. "So what do we do?" I asked unsurely. "I say we have one person just talk to him, he'll definitely get way too overwhelmed if all of us go." Wilbur suggested, with all of us nodding in agreement. "I will." Dream firmly spoke. It honestly surprised the rest of us. "Why?" Karl asked, his voice scratchy.

Dream said nothing as we watched him pull up his sleeves, revealing hundreds upon hundreds of small white lines, that for some reason no one had noticed before. Karl stared for a moment before pulling up his own sleeves, showing the same groups of white lines painted across his wrists. "No fucking way..." I muttered, before finally lifting my sleeves, and, well, you get the memo. "What the hell..." Wilbur trailed off. "Are you lot okay?" He said with a slight joking sense, but still one of genuine concern. "Nope," We said in unison. We shared a few weird glances before completely bursting out into laughter. Wilbur gave us all another round of worried glances but eventually joined in the laughter.

~~~No one's POV~~~

They managed to compose themselves before getting back on the topic they were originally here for. Wilbur was the first to speak up. "Okay in all seriousness I think Karl should go. He seems to trust you the most, sorry Dream." Dream just shrugged. "It's fine. And understandable." Karl nodded in agreement. "Karl can I talk to you for a second before you talk to him?" Wilbur said, raising suspicion among the other two. "Uh yeah sure. that's fine." "Just call us back in when you're done talking." Eret said, pulling dream with her out of the room. "What's up?" The shorter of the two asked. "You should... hold on to these. They're Tommy's." Wilbur replied, holding out a small bottle of pills. He hesitantly grabbed the bottle and read the label. "Anxiety right?" Karl asked, apparently knowing what Xanax is off the top of his head. "Yeah."

~~~~~~~~~

word count - 1630

hello I hope this chapter shook tf out of you:) have a good night<3