let me live. a tommyinnit angst.

four.

okay before i start i just wanna say holy shit thank you so much for almost 200 reads this is actually insane. literally 3 days ago i got super excited over 5 reads and we're already almost at 200?! i'm actually so amazed i didn't expect people to actually read this but thank you so much!<3

//TW//abuse//yelling//crying//swearing//

~~~Tommy POV~~~

I didn't expect him to be home this early, it's only 5:30. Just by the way I heard him stumble through the door already told me he was drunk. My mom had gone out earlier in the day and still hasn't come home, so I guess it's my turn to get the almost daily round of yelling from my father. I heard his uneven footsteps stomp profusely down the upstairs hallway, inching closer and closer to my room. My door forcefully swung open and I leaped as fast as I could out of my bed, fully knowing how upset he gets when I don't "show respect." I was met with a hard slap across the face, letting out a small yelp. "Why the fuck did I get a call from your teacher on a Saturday that you had missing homework," he yelled, the reek of alcohol hitting me like a brick. I knew that if I didn't answer he'd probably be even more mad. "I-I'm s-sorry I-I've been busy with uh str-streaming. It won't happen again," I said, fear very present in my voice. Before I could say anything else I felt another hard slap. I bit back tears. "Fucking streaming," he said. You can just hear the rage every time he speaks. "When are you gonna get off that kids game? You're almost 17 for crying out loud!" I felt his hands on my shoulders as I was pushed to the ground. I expected a kick or something, but to my luck, he walked away and muttered a quick "Fucking useless." He slammed the door shut. The words hit harder than I'd quite like to admit, but I've gotten fairly used to the degrading.

The only way I knew how to react to this was just to curl up and cry, so I did exactly that. Just lying there. Helpless. Scared.

~~~time skip~~~

I awoke for the third time today, startled by the phone ringing once again. I don't even remember falling asleep, or why I was on the ground. I roll over before standing up, making an attempt to stretch. I stand up, immediately regretting it after the world went white for a few moments, and everything spun in circles. I regained my balance and checked who was calling.

"Tubbo?" I answered aloud. "Hi Tommy!" He said cheerfully. "Why are you calling?" I asked. I probably should've been a bit more polite about it, but I don't really think it bothered him too much. "We've been trying to call you for like an hour! We just wanna know if you've talked to your parents yet about the trip." The events from maybe an hour or two ago came flooding back into my head. I remembered the door swinging open at full force. I remembered the several slaps to my face. I remembered him bringing up my missing assignments, getting pushed, him slamming the door shut. And of course I remembered what he muttered. "Tommy?" I heard the voice over the phone say, snapping me out of what felt like a trance of thought. "Tommy? Are you okay?" He said again. "Yeah, I'm fine big man," I said, my voice slightly cracking.

"Okay well anyways have you talked to them yet?" "Not yet," I replied. "Well talk to them! We wanna make sure you're good to go!" He said, very excitedly. "Alright I'll go talk to them now okay? I'll let you know what's up afterward alright?" I said, my voice steadying. "Okay! Bye Tommy!" "Bye Tubbo." I hung up.

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Word count - 662