Bad Boys Never Change

Judgment Day

December 2009

After the beach we reluctantly head home to get dressed and ready for court. On the ride home I was so tempted to tell him just to keep driving, keep going dont stop, let's run away but what good would it have done, we have kids we cant go on the run and spend our lives looking over our shoulders. Sadly we have to just suck it up and deal with this.

"God I look like shit" I say to myself as I look in the mirror, lack of sleep and crying all night hasn't done me any favours, it's going to take a whole lot of makeup to fix this mess.

We drive over to court practically in silence, I just dont know what to say to him and I cant trust that I just wont burst into tears as soon as I open my mouth.

We pull up to court and greet Emily and Mike who are already there, just standing outside cuddling. As we head inside Dutchs parents are waiting in the foyer as is Bobby, Johnny, Tommy and Jimmy.

Mike and Dutch are called through and we are told to go and take our seats ready for court to start. God I feel so sick, I look at Emily and she looks as green around the gills as I do. Before we go through Dutch pulls me to the side, signalling to his lawyer to give us one second.

"Look I just wanted to say before we go in and things get bad, that I love you, I love you more than anything in this world and I'm so glad that I got you back in my life and I love our four crazy kids and that's why I'm sorry that I fucked this all up so bad and that once again we are being split up, but we will survive this I know we will." He kisses me and I kiss him back.

"I know we are short on time and I have just so much to say to you, but I'll just say I love you, I'm here for you and I'll support you through all this, behave and do all you can do get out to me and the kids and we will visit you asap I promise." We hug and then walk our separate ways.

Emily takes my hand and I can feel that she is trembling, we sit down by Dutchs parents and the guys are all sitting behind us. They talk through Mike's charges first and that he has been found guilty of felony money laundering he will be sentenced to a minimum of three years, maximum of 5 in Lompoc federal prison and has been fined $250,000. Emily starts to cry and Mike looks at her sadly as he gets taken away.
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Dutch is next and I just know its going to be bad, he has been charged with felony money laundering and Drug trafficking. He will then serve a minimum of 10 years a maximum of 15 in Lompoc and has been fined $2 million dollars. I feel sick and faint I hear Eve gasp. Emily puts her arm around me and I'm just in shock. I see Dutchs face when it hits him that he wont be free for 10 years at least and im so confused right now I hate him for what he has done and I'm devastated that I'm losing him again. He gets lead away from us and as he mouths "I love you" I finally break.

I head to Eve and Dave's house to pick up the babies who have been looked after by Annabelle and our Nanny Nina. After I've fed the twins, I take them all down to the beach and let them play for a bit, let them just be kids until I have to tell them the truth however I can break it to a 9 year old and 3 year old what has happened to Dutch.

I head home, even though Eve begged us to stay with them, I just need to be at home with my kids, and shut the world out.

As I pull up on our driveway, Bobby is waiting outside in his car and I'm glad to see him. We go into the house and get the kids settled.

Bobby then opens a bottle of wine and pours me a glass. "I thought you could do with this, can you drink?"

"Yeah Ive expressed enough milk to fill a dairy farm, so I'm good to drink for now and as you said I definitely need and deserve this."

We order pizza and polish off the bottle of wine. "Thanks for coming here Bobby, I dont think I could take being on my own tonight."

"I'm always here for you guys, whatever you need I'll help out as much as I can, and when you need to go see Dutch I'll help out with the kids if you dont want to take them everytime."

"Thanks Bobby, you are amazing, you truly are. I hope you guys write to him and visit him too, plus if he has a member of the clergy visiting him I'm sure it will look good on his record."

"Of course we will, well I know I will and Johnny will if he keeps himself out of trouble that is."

"Also do you know if Lompoc allows conjugal visits?" Bobby nearly spits out his wine.

"Vanessa seriously I hope your joking, I couldnt imagine anything worse."

"Oh I can 15 years without Dutchs Dick that is much much worse." I say laughing as I see how uncomfortable I'm making poor Bobby and I guess I'm only half joking.