Bad Boys Never Change

The Bubble Bursts

December 2009

Since the guilty verdict we have practically lived in a little bubble. I haven't really left the house as I couldnt face people, I am on maternity leave and Dutch has sadly lost the auto shop so can only be at home with us anyway.

I think I have fooled my fragile mind that this is our life now and I just dont think about what is going to happen after his sentencing. The guys come to visit us alot and again no one talks about the sentencing or what Dutch and Mike have done.

We just spend our days playing happy families with our four children, hosting dinner parties then spend our nights holding and kissing each other like our lives depend on it as they kind of do.

Today is our 4th wedding anniversary and by cruel coincidence also the night before their sentencing. We have the whole day planned out perfectly we will be spending the day as family then his parents will be taking the children for the night to allow us to spend some quality time before the worst happens tomorrow.

We have made a pillow fort in the den area for us all to watch movies together, we have made popcorn and got snacks. Ava wont leave Dutch alone as usual she is just always hugging her daddy and even gets jealous if I'm the one that's hugging and kissing him. It breaks my heart to think how she is going to cope without seeing him everyday.

Dutchs parents, Johnny, Bobby, Jimmy and Tommy all come over to have dinner with us, Mike and Emily decline the offer as they just want to spend the evening alone and I cant blame them. It is kind of a goodbye dinner even though no one actually calls it that.

The guys all joke and tell stories all about the crazy things the guys have done like the time Dutch stole the golf cart from the country club and drove it into the pool there and they had to get a crane to remove it. I'm quiet and I'm guessing Dutch can see that im uncomfortable with the direction in which the conversation is going, all his bad boy antics arent so cute and funny anymore.

Eventually the guys decide to call it a night, and leave us to it. As im tidying the dishes away Bobby comes over to me.

"Ness, do you want me to come and stay with you for a couple of days after....well you know? I dont want you being on your own? Emily is going to stay with her parents otherwise I would suggest we all crash here for a few days."

"Yeah that would be great, thank you so much. Can you really put up with me and four screaming kids though." I say raising my eyebrows at him.

"Yeah I love the kids and they love their Uncle Bobby, I want to help anyway I can and we have all promised that we will look out for you guys while...well while Dutch cant." He smiles at me sadly.

"Thank you Bobby, I really appreciate it, you are an angel." I cuddle Bobby tight and try not to cry. We arrange to meet at the courthouse tomorrow then. I say goodbye to the guys and go get the kids all packed up and ready for the night, poor Eve is going to have her hands full, but she loves the challenge plus she has Annabelle (her maid) to help her with the twins and Ava, Leo is no trouble at all bless him and loves helping out with the babies.

Me and Dutch say goodbye to his parents and make arrangements for tomorrow it just all feels so surreal. After everyone has gone I turn to him and say.

"Happy Anniversary Babe, let's just pretend for tonight that it's just our normal anniversary and we are just a normal couple with no plans for tomorrow at all."